/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>presentation on thursday
>group member volunteered to do presentation
>recieve power point today, it's completly half assed and stupid
>now I have to re-do it alone, stress myself out

>didn't go to any classes I did not have to attend for the past 4 weeks
>slept 15 hours yesterday
>general feel of exhaustion
>no energy of motivation to do anything though
>haven't studied, exams are in 2 months
>stress myself out because I know I behave like shit and should attend classes

>see post on tumblr
>"My perfect partner bought me this beautiful Lolita dress for our anniversary!"
>almost cry because that feeling when no bf

>wanted to meet with friend today
>she cancelled last minute because her train was cancelled
>"Oh Anon, I hope you weren't already on your way!"
>mfw I was already on my way and wasted two hours traveling back and forth

>gained 10 pounds within the last 5 month
>mfw half of my clothes don't fit anymore

I hate my life right now and all I want to do is sleep so I don't have to deal with any of this

>lone Lolita
>decide to change that
>go to first meet up
>too scared to go alone, so I went with my best friend
>everything went better then expected

>new meet up
>want to go, but I would have to go alone
>scared as fuck, don't know half the people attending the meet
>what do

It was easier with a friend, because I was more open, less awkward and kept the spaghettis in my pocket. But I did not really make a close contact to any of the Lolitas (we only saw each other for a few hours, and I am not the kind of person who is able to open up so fast), and now I am scared I would end up alone.
I am especially afraid since we will visit a nearby castle, and will take pictures. Meaning we will do a group photo, then we seperate to make our own pictures for about an hour before we have a tour through the castle. And I am so afraid I will end up alone or as a third wheel and awkwardly stand next to some strangers and will not even have my picture taken.

>>7472591
>Are you me?
>I gave up making friends at uni, I don't really care anymore.

It is a mixture of not caring anymore, being stressed out by even the slightest social interaction/generally being tired, want to be left alone and actiong like a huge bitch towards anyone, and the feeling of being alone and missing out all the awesome stuff my friends experience...

>But I feel really guilty not studying for my exams. Like now. Browsing 4chan an mbok...

Yep, hours and hours upon wasted time. I also missed the opportunity to get into my classes, now I have to beg the professors to accept me; the mere thought of it makes me cry and vomit and hide in a corner. I feel like a failure who cannot even do the simplest Uni stuff.
>How did I even get accepted

>>7479486
>If you have a therapist at uni, give it a shot, that's what I did. I'm still struggling, but it's good to have someone to talk to who can tell you you're not just a lazy slob.

Maybe I will do so next semester. Just need to build up the courage, haha.

>Personally, I'm terrified to wear lolita out.[...] Being noticed by people causes terrible anxiety for me, I feel self-conscious even in slightly "out there" clothes or wearing wigs...

I feel you, Anon, so, so bad. Last time I went out in casual Lolita my mom felt uncomfrotable because of all the stares we got, and asked me how I could stand all this attention. Made me even more nervous... And the thought of going through Uni alone again being a weirdly dressed lonely freak makes me so anxious! Not to mention my mom constantly tells me it is my fault that I am alone because I am dressed in silly clothes; and she has a point.
>Feeling of guilt intensifies x 1000

>I want to wear my frills out so bad, but I just can't, and it just feels like a huge waste of money at this point.

Same here. But I just cannot stop to buy more.

I love the clothes, I just do not love me enough.