/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I live with my S/O. She's passed I love yous to two different dudes in the past and I want to let go.
However, thinking about it crushes my soul. When she did it, we didn't live together and were in an LDR. I love her so much but I can't help but feel that the betrayal is inevitable. And the worst part of it, is we live together and if we break up I pretty much have to send her back home - she isn't chasing a career or doing a lot, just kind of "existing". She was very insecure when she did what she did, and it was a time in LDR where I wasn't really affectionate because life was very busy.

I fantasize about having someone yandere towards me like I am to her, but I feel like she can never return it because of what she's done in the past. I'm pretty well off..Maybe a 5, 6ish, Decent job and climbing ladder ( Current @ 60k, next promotion bumps up ) and she still acts really self conscious when she's working min wage and basically jipped college. I don't mind this at all as a person, but I.had just kind of hoped that, even with what little I have, I could offer her and keep her attention.

But oh god, I love her, and it fucking hurts. Sometimes I wonder if she's just hanging on because she doesn't want to go back to where she was. She has no conceptual grasp when I hurt at all though

But when she's nice i'm the happiest person in the world and she makes my entire world shine so brightly. I feel literally unstoppable when she's at my side, and she promised that she would do everything in her power to change my mind about her. And she's been doing mostly much better about things.

I just want to be worthwhile to her...