Honestly, I don't care much for the efame-competition, and I don't need a million notes on tumblr. To me what is the most toxic in all of this is how it tickled down to real life. How much of a competition it feels like. How much you need to slap on for a simple meet up just to get noticed.
Today, the standard just seem so high. Even the standard for "casual" pictures. Hyped dress, newest trends, either invest a lot of money or mad crafting skills, be pretty, photshopped, et cetera. And don't get me started on the things you'll have to pull today for a convention/tea party/brand event.
Whenever I am at big meet ups like brand events or cons, the most OTT-outlandish people are barely getting noticed because there are SO many of them they are already having a hard time competing against each other. And to me it seems like people forget that Lolita is a fashion that you can actually casually wear. Whenever I tell people I like to wear Lolita in my free time, I need to re-assure them three times that no, I am not wearing this OTT stuff in everyday life, thank you very much for asking.
I don't care too much for OTT. I want to wear some pretty clothes, and sometimes I want to wear them in my free time. Call me an attention whore, but when I go to a meet up I like to look at other people's outfits, I want to get noticed, and I want to talk to people who wear similar styles. But if all the other Lolitas there are too busy sucking each others' efame-cock, worrying about their notes on tumblr and almost exclusively care for the most OTT cons/meet ups only events, then, what's left?