/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>thought I solely liked girls
>"woo!! short hair!! wear whatever I want including traditionally masculine clothes!! those boys dont like these things on girls articles do not apply because I don't even like boys!!"
>suddenly a massive crush on boy happened
>FUCK

FUCK. Oh my god I have no chance compared to other girls. Why this?!

not cosplay related, sorry.

>posted before in various feels threads, have mental health issues, parents refused to let me get professional help, despite how insurance payed for everything
>hit the worst depression I've ever felt a week ago
>can't take this anymore
>break down to parents
>they actually give in
>no really though, they gave in
>make appointment for future

A part of me feels really triumphant and optimistic, but I'm also nervous. After so many lows and not many ups in the past three years, I'm scared that I might not get better. What if I'm a hopeless case or something? I do plan to give it my all, cause I swear I really do want to get better... I want to stop being this huge burden on my friends and family. I want to stop the self-harming, and all this pill taking, and I want to actually LIVE and feel ALIVE, but ahh what if it doesn't happen?!

>tfw;
>have friend
>not physically attracted to
>mentally am though
>?
>how does that make sense
>want to bang
>also do not really want to bang
>so conflicted
>i dont know how to feel what the fuck

>>6515288
My god it's like everyone there is getting their makeup done by Michelle Phan.