a big part of the appeal of lolita for me is the tailoring and details, shitty quality lolita isn't worth it at all
i mean sure, but some aspects of size inclusivity in lolita are pretty reasonable. even when a healthy weight (or underweight) some people are too tall, broad shouldered, or large breasted to comfortably wear a lot of pieces. i don't think it's a bad thing for brands to either have more variety in sizing or to have more cuts available if they're wanting to sell to people who aren't japanese. i'm not a big fan of AP's sizing changes (from the outside looking in, i wear gothic) because it seems like they've moved to being TOO big for a lot of the people already wearing it, but things like Meta having two sets of sizes seems overall good.
i relate a lot to you here and my little sister and friends were awful for years about constantly requesting things from me. they're only doing it because they can. i used to make the mistake of thinking that if someone was asking they must have a reason to, but it's how they rationalize being willing to ask for things- "well if she didn't want to, she'd just say no!" the more you do it, the easier it gets.