/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>dress up in lolita for the first time in forever to meet an acquaintance who enjoys alternative fashion for brunch
>I have the problem of being agoraphobic/having anxiety because I feel like everyone's eyes are on me AND of loving a very loud fashion at the same time
>obstacle one: brain wants me to cancel the morning of our brunch because fear of walking to the brunch location (there's no free parking nearby)
>can't cancel on this person AGAIN, even though my nerves beg me to before I leave
>I just get in the car and drive, park 5 minutes away to meeting place. obstacle one overcome, sweet
>spot obstacle two: police EVERYWHERE
>like, groups of 15-20 on different corners
>I'm terrified of authority figures
>take a longer path to avoid them, but I walk past a group of cops anyway, stare at my phone to avoid eye contact
>obstacle two overcome even though I used a distraction method, sweet af
>try to call my friend to stay on the line with me until I get to the place I'm going to, but it doesn't work and while staring at my phone I miss...
>obstacle three: boss appears, activating my fear of those in my professional life discovering my love for a "weird" hobby
>"hey anon! why are you all dressed up?"
>"oh hi! I'm meeting a friend because we like to dress fancy and hang out at fun new places"
>lie: accepted
>final obstacle: overcome, fucking ding dang sweet uncle sam
>get to where I'm supposed to go, have fun chatting, go home
>feel like I'm a fucking boss

It sounds like nothing, but even going to the store by myself makes my vision go weird and my stomach hurt. A lot of people don't know I deal with it because 1) if I have someone I'm close to with me, I can do anything without any consequences (sans events with big crowds) and 2) I'm decent at hiding it while I'm out and about, I just rarely find myself in situations like that because I avoid them. I feel like I'm making so much progress.