/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>10919107
Anyway that makes sense and I kind of already realized it, I just think it's really fucked up that's how the world works and that you're just expected to be okay with this
Like I said, I just want clear and consistent communication, hell her saying she was actually autistic (not just some faggot online getting attention oh I'm so quirky teehee) and me talking with her was honestly really eye opening for myself, I was relating to and agreeing with so much of what she was saying and how she thinks. I always thought I was probably some degree of autistic but I hate being a self diagnosing attention whore and because of abuse I've been gaslit my whole life into thinking I'm just lazy, or just weird, or "just an introvert" when in actuality I really enjoy talking with and being around people, I just struggle really fucking hard with someone who doesn't think like I do which is like 99% of people and I fucking hate it.
Talking with her and realizing yes, I am almost certainly in fact almost autistic is honestly a really big moment for me personally and it just makes me all the more upset that I ended up effectively being used, even if it was nice in the moment and I'm glad anything happened at all and proud of myself for trying so hard when normally I would be too scared to ever speak up like that.

It also makes me even more upset because where the hell am I supposed to find other autistic girls? Conventions, right? Well no, apparently everyone there is a normalfag who doesn't care and aren't looking for real connections either, I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it