/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I really wish I could enjoy j-fashion again.
I started wearing lolita/j-fashion in my teens and back then I had all the confidence to wear it in public, I just felt so beautiful and good. Even though I'm still young (21 to be exact), I feel so unconfident. Mainly the issue lies in feeling sexualized in it/being percieved as anything sexual, since so many people have made nasty and ugly comments in the past. I truly feel like I can never escape it, even though I know it's in my head. All the negative thoughts overpower my confidence. Why do people look at lolita, a very conservative fashion at it's core, and associate it with fetishes/kink? I really don't get it and it makes me very very sad.
Same feelings towards kogal and gyaru - I really want to start wearing it, but I'm so paranoid of creeps and others making disgusting comments, that I just feel like I want to run away and k*ll all men.