/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>touching moment watching a show i like
>try to briefly mention it to bf
>shuts me down when i talk, grumpy, rude
>later apologizes for being grumpy and rude
>a few days later
>he's watching a touching moment during a show he likes
>don't interrupt out of respect
>i mention afterwards that i respect his feels but i feel like he doesn't respect mine sometimes
>blows up at me
>says "all you do is yap about anime and lolita"
>complains that i interrupt all the time and don't listen or engage him in conversation
>says i run away from confrontation
>have a crying breakdown
>confess i'm jealous that he's in med school and i'm doing nothing with my life
>terrified everyone will think im just a gold digger dating a med student for money even though we've been together for 4 years already and he just started med school now
>don't have a life outside hobbies and feel like an overgrown weeaboo
>no career prospects or job after quitting shittiest retail job in the universe
>feel worthless and stupid after giving up on science degree and switching to humanities
>worry that with an adderall prescription and more supportive family i could have gone pre-med
>realize that none of it would have helped because i am an unmotivated piece of shit
>cry for an hour, so much fucking insecurity
>emotionally shaken since then