/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I mentioned to my friends recently that I wasn't really in love with lolita anymore, and since that day on, I'm constantly seeing my friends hanging out together in lolita and suddenly saying how amazing of a group of friends they are and constantly talking about it, but not inviting me...? There's a person in the group that doesn't wear lolita but is invited to every meet, but once I get bored of the clothes and want to change my style, I'm out?

I'm trying to figure out if this is actually happening or if my own paranoia is taking control of me.

I don't know which one I'd prefer: my friends want me gone for good or my own mind is so fucked up that I warp the actions of others.

I grew up with social anxiety but wasn't diagnosed until I was 20. I'm on medication for it now, but I still have some lingering effects, mostly the fact that I think my friends hate me.

I basically always assume people are saying bad stuff about me, that they think I'm stupid, that I'm annoying them, that I'm making them mad, etc.
It doesn't hurt that my best friend recently did get mad over me about something petty, and we're no longer close.
One of my friends is so good to me, I always say "I think ____ is mad at me" to her at cons and she reassures me that everything is fine, but now I'm convinced I'm bothering her with that.

>tfw you fuck up all your friendships and relationships because of this paranoia