/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>Got exam tomorrow
>Really love university studies
>Absolutely hate this subcourse
>Been procrastinating hard until today
>So much fiddling with costuming
>Cleaned and washed clothes
>Watched anime for once
>Low key want to say fuck it
>Also know my academic pride relies on passing EVERY exam on my first try
>This pride is what propels me to keep studying
>Need to keep studying to apply for student housing
>Need to keep studying to keep said housing
>Want to move out so bad
>Start to stake all of these bad feelings on this single exam
>Obsessively squeeze and pull at fluffy trim on costume
>Decide to vent on /cgl/ even if this is pretty off topic
>Promise myself to smash the practice exam after writing this post

I've got cramps this week from sewing so much by hand, please help

>Cleaning out closet
>Needed this so bad
>Have held on to so many ugly pieces
>Never cleaned out my highschool phases
>Out with it all
>HealingSoul.webm
>Have so much space now
>Feels good

But naturally this state of happiness wasn't meant to last.

>Start thinking of buying new clothes
>Try to formulate a vision and a style
>What is "my style"?
>Who am I?
>Enter existential dread
>Start staring at myself in the mirror more
>This only means staring at my flaws
>Absolutely hate my jawline
>Don't know if my current hairstyle distracts/flatters me the most
>It looks its worst when I smile
>Dear friends all say I have a pretty smile
>Have started crying about it in solitude
>Still don't know what clothes I want
>Just want to be pretty
>Torn between mature and cute
>Don't know who to talk to since all dear friends and bf might try to hugbox my problems away
>You can't convince me I'm pretty if I don't believe you

>tfw cosplay, any type of J-fashion and general weeaboo hobbies are full of self-important spoiled teenage girls who refuse to call themselves girls and think their opinions about things matter to anyone but their teenage circle jerking faggot friends

Fuck off
FUUUUCK OOOOFF

I don't remember being this holier-than-thou, cliquey and contrarian-but-still-groupthink as a teenager.