/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

Really unenthused for Otakon. I already paid for prereg/hotel/transportation, but I feel no motivation to finish my costume other than completionism.
I've been sitting here for a week, couching cord onto this fucking kimono, and thinking about how much I hate cosplay at this point. My costumes all win runner-up but no higher, I'm unphotogenic as shit, and even though I talk to people at cons and online, I can't seem to make any friends. I love anime and I love crafting things, but this hobby just makes me so /lonely/. I've developed anorexia, as ten years of "maybe if my costumes are good someone will want to cosplay with me!" twists itself into killing perfectionism.
By contrast, my ex has gotten into the hobby and made tons of friends and is having a wonderful time, confirming my beliefs that I'm just a shitty person unworthy of friendship or food.