/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>be a little over a year ago
>leaving the realm of fat and entering into obesity
>ohshit.jpg
>make a serious decision to change
>greater resolve than ever before
>I weigh around 180 now whereas before I could never ever get below 200 before regaining again
>knocked my BMI down by 10 points
>feeling real good about myself
>tfw guys I like think I suffer from fat girl syndrome
If you don't know what I'm getting at, fat girl syndrome is a mindset that fatties and ex fatties usually have. It makes them think that they can never find someone good so they settle for shitty guys because they think being emotionally/physically neglected is all they can ever expect out of someone due to their poor self-esteem.

For me, it usually goes:
>guy I find attractive expresses interest in me
>we both reach some sexual/emotional relationship that very obviously puts us past friend territory
>we both agree we're not ready for relationships for reasons
>we're both okay with being fwb
>just when I'm getting cozy guys suddenly find gfs
>would be okay with just being a friend except....
>they drop ALL contact with me
>....until they break up months later
>"Baw anon why did you stop talking to me? I didn't do anything to you."
>ignore the messages
>secretly want to bitch them out for pretty much only using me when it suits them
>tfw they can't even be fucking subtle about it

I'm so fucking tired of being second pick; while I openly admit I have poor self-esteem, I also know a lot of normal people that do too. I may be fat, but shit, it's not like my personality is awful (heaven knows that's mostly what I had to rely on for years), I have college degrees, I have hobbies, I'm not mentally unwell, I have friends, and I'm employed.

So I'm not a model (crying forever, amirite?), but I'm not a below average person when I think about all aspects of my life. It's frustrating that some guys only ever see my worth when they need something from me or have no one else to fall back to.