/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

Found some shitty premade matching costumes I bought back in high school to wear with my best friend while going through old stuff. She went to her first con without me, with her boyfriend, brought me back a figure, which started the huge collection I have today. I wanted to start cosplay because she thought it was cool.

I was in love with her and after a few years of fighting it and fading in and out of each other's lives, I told her that I had been in lesbians with her and that's why I couldn't spend time with her anymore after she started talking to me about sex with her boyfriends. She told me she had felt the same,,, but that she was going to find me a good boyfriend so we could double date and it would all work out like the fantasies we had of being together forever. Fucking religious parents.

I've never gotten along with anyone like I have with her and she said the same of me, that she didn't connect to anyone, not even her big sorority of friends or boyfriend she is now marrying. But I can't talk to her. I can't tell her all the shit I've been up to that she would think is cool, places I've been, or the massive collection I have because of her. I'm living the life of our teenage dreams but I can't share it with her. It hurts too much. My relationships are doomed because I compare others to her.

How did I let things get like this, it's all my fault