/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

there's this skinny 16 year old girl I met at a con that's already emancipated, studying abroad, engaged, she's pretty, she's skinny, she's finished most of her HS subjects early, she's a popular cosplayer, meanwhile I'm much older, getting fat, ugly, and a failure, I bet she was sneering about me with her friends at how ugly me and my cosplay was, and while I don't hate her (I think) ever since i met her and started following her something flipped a switch in me (le triggered meme, I guess) and I've been feeling worse and worse. I've been noticing every pretty skinny girl and ripped handsome guy around me and being envious and hating myself so much as if this wasn't a thing already my entire life.

What's worse is I've been gaining so much weight for no apparent reason I can't fit into my clothes anymore. It's so fucking humiliating. What's the point of even investing in burando if I'm a fatass.

I used to eat whatever I want, was MUCH less active than I am now, and was an absolute skellychan. What the hell happened?

It's just not fair.
I don't understand.
More and more sometimes I wish I died back then when I hung myself.
I just want to be pretty and happy.

>tfw crippling fibro/incapacitated
>can't hold a job
>govt thinks im not oppressed enough so no financial compensation/support
>shitload medical bills
>owning at least one lolita coord is only a distant dream since i was 12