/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>be me, a 12 y-o boy
>falls in love with lolita and kote kei , and other styles of j-fashion
>never got the chance to try it out during my teenage years because fear of parents finding out
>realizing im in my 20s and don't have much time left until i can't even pull it off
>buys some clothes off japanese stores online
>realizes im too anxious and scared to buy proper makeup or ask around
>doesnt know anyone irl who i can ask about this anyway
>tutorials too hard or i don't have the tools
>has no idea how to do hair either

So what to do now? Anyone went through similar stuff?