/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>cosplayer calls me out for saying I wouldn't cosplay a character because I feel I'm too dark for them (amongst the other things i said like hairy and curvy)
well wtf was i supposed to say? I honestly don't feel like this towards anybody else, I only feel "racist" towards myself I guess. Like if there was somebody else even with a DARKER shade of skin cosplaying that character, I'd have no problem. It's literally only me I hate. I hate my skin. It's muddy, it's orange, it's ashy, it's everything wrong possible at the same time and no makeup can fix it.

>>10174525
>>10174526
I don't have feels like that for him anymore, it feels immediately disgusting.

However, I feel an odd sense of wanting to protect him now and still like hugging him, and I still talk with him as I do with everybody else in the group. Do I have to completely cut it off? Should I stop attending cons in general since it's mostly a teens and kids thing? I feel so fucking awful.

What's even more ironic is that he's so much more mature than me, holy fuck. I just barely started high school (had to stay many years back because I'm retarded/autismo and kept failing) and he's almost out of it and soon will go into uni and all. Fuck.

why do I fail so much at being an adult? I don't FEEL like one. and yet I'm turning 20 soon.