/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>Super excited to go to con this year
>Set up and manage a group of friends to go
>Been planning it for months, making my own cosplay for the first time
>Apply for the masquerade and get in
>Super stressed but trying to be positive and convince myself I'll do great and have a great time
>The morning of after working on my cosplay for 36 hours straight on top of stress and my mental disorder, I snap after I realize my cosplay doesnt look as good as i wanted it to
>Convinced I don't deserve to go at all and that I am a horrible human being that doesn't deserve to have fun or be happy
>Don't go, hang myself and overdose, end up staying at home the entire con alone in the dark after I fail

im so ashamed of myself