/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

Why do I get the feeling that everyone who's posted a story in this thread is white and middle class?

>>7366141
I don't think you understand the subtle charm that Sasha Grey had on her fans. She reminded all of us of that one popular girl in high school who wouldn't give you the time of the day- from her demeanor to her pro-ana figure. There was just something satisfying about watching her get gang-banged by fourteen dudes and swallowing all of their loads at the same time whilst simultaneously eating out a black guy's asshole.

>>7363286
>She's not going back to porn.

>>7362658
>her posture is bad

probably from bending over all the time!!111one! X-D

The last I'd heard from Sasha Grey she'd done some voice acting for the Saint's Row series and did a book reading at a kindergarten class. Any news on whether or not she's going back to gangbangs for a living?

So I just read through the last four submissions on your lolita secrets page, and god damn- you girls (and that one brolita) are fucking mean. What's the worst story to ever come out of someone being posted to this LiveJournal?

>>7361453
I also found out today that my new qt 3.14 co-worker is also into watching entry-level anime! She told me she just finished watching FMA:Brotherhood and asked me to give her some recommendations!

>Have you seen Attack on Titan?
>"I just finished watching the first episode last night!"

I'm going to gradually mold her into a weeb worthy of /a/'s praise without her even knowing it. We'll start her off with the mainstream works and eventually make our way to the true masterpieces.

It's okay, but these dank shoes would just make it even better. Should I send her an email about it?

>>7360823
I was working today and saw this adorable, chubby boy walk in with his father. How many kids do you think we should adopt? I know that you're a guy and straight, but would you be willing to let me inject estrogen in your body to give you a curvier figure?

>>7360071
I think it's time I tell you the truth about my feelings, sieg heil-kun.

Every time you post my dick gets so hard that it throbs against my briefs. Sweat pours from my forehead when I read your sweet, sweet words of wisdom. Your intelligence and quick wit makes me want to shove my hands through my computer's monitor and just drag you out of 4chan and into my embrace. We'd spend hours just making-out with cries similar to the giraffes you see at the zoo. Bonus points if you resisted my passion.

When I first began reading your postings to /cgl/ I merely chuckled at your sense of humor; how could a man so funny be such a charmer in real life? But when I saw your true face, the face of that slant-eyed gook with fat in his cheeks resembling a squirrel packing his nuts, I fell in love. There's nothing more I want in life than to tie you up to my bedpost and play with all of those calories you've saved up for the winter. Do you feel the same, sieg heil-kun? Would you want to be dominated by me?

I'm going to find you one day and confess all these feelings in person. Make sure you ditch that other woman in your life before that day comes; we wouldn't want any drama.

>>7359390
Hi! Few things to start off with =]

1. Yes I messaged you because you because you're a female otaku, 'tis an awesome thing to see!

2. I'm Siggy.

3. Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a sterotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen =D.

So do you girls collect points or something based on how many times you get posted to these "lolita secrets" that you later get to spend on prizes?

You lookin' for a good time, baby?

>>7357653
When are you gonna' respond to my emails and let me give your ass a shake, moot?

I fucking hate winter and I hate the shitty mood it puts me in. A part of me wants to go back on anti-dees, but the other part enjoys actually having a free personality.

>>7354980
I would berry my dick so far inside your ass who ever could pull it out would be crowned king arthur

How do brolitas deal with 5 o'clock shadow?

>>7352543

Needs more J-Pop in the background. Play this next time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhE4wdzDso8&list=FLyFZ-PmgJFgIufbUg2fIZMg&index=11

>>7352103
>>7352121

Finally, somebody gets it. I always hear "but I want to be remembered!" as an excuse for not donating your organs and just cremating away. Bitch, you lived at least a fifth of your life doing mindless things that everyone else on Earth does to pass their free time. Nobody will care that you existed past generation three.

>>7351947

Ironically, Chester's crazy mom making that pseudo-threat worked out well for me and her son. We had to evacuate the school premise so I ended up missing a geometry test I was about to flunk and Chester moved out of our town to someplace where the grass was greener. The police did a search through his house and supposedly found meth, a horde of trash, and a sofa stuffed with $20 bills; not exactly the golden palace with harems of 2D waifus I'd pictured him going home to.

>>7351676

Alright then. I needed a break anyways. I'll just refer to the kid as Chester from now on, since it seems like an appropriate name.

>school library has a shelf dedicated exclusively to comic books and manga
>naruto, bleach, one piece, inu yasha, etc.
>also features several of the original English volumes of Ranma 1/2
>Chester really likes hanging out in this section

By the time December rolled around I'd made a lot more friends and found my niche in the high school hierarchy. One of these friends happened to work as a librarian aide for one of her senior-year electives. She knew who Chester was and we'd often gossip about how weird he was during our lunch breaks.

>sit at lunch table in front of librarian aide friend
>"Siggy, I'm going to tell you something confidential."
>"O-okay."
>"It's about Chester."
>I give the nod of approval
>"He's banned from the library for the next two months."
>Chester apparently checked out one of the copies of Ranma 1/2 and took it home
>returned it the next day
>some of the pages were stuck together
>specifically the nude scenes
>mfw I realized I could never continue reading the series

And I still haven't read past volume 2.

I don't know if it's really a "weeb" story, but it involves 2D porn so whatever.

>be freshman in high school
>awkward, but try to be friendly to everyone
>hang out in the library in the mornings before class
>walking around computer section
>see greasy-haired boy looking at hentai on his screen
>"Dude... wh-what are you looking at?"
>why_did_i_engage.jpg
>he gives me a creepy smile and asks if I want to look at some with him
>"N-no."
>walk away, never breathe a word of it to anyone

>a few weeks pass
>in the library again
>"Hey Siggy!" he shouts to me
>know I shouldn't go over to him, but I do anyways because I don't want to be mean
>he shows me what's on his screen
>it's a decapitated girl
>[internally screams]
>"One day I'm going to do this to the people I hate."
>"Oh... o-okay."
>walk away, never breathe a word of it to anyone

His crazy mom ended up calling the school later that year threatening that she had placed a bomb in the cafeteria, so I guess that problem solved itself. I've got a couple more incidents with said person if anyone's interested, though.

>>7350862

Thank you, anon. I-I'll never give up!

God dammit, this shit is so much harder than it looked on YouTube. I can only do a straight stitch and even then I'm having hiccups. I'm never gonna' get my duhream cosapray at this rate.

>>7350137

And stop posting my waifu in vendetta threads.