/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.9853979]

>tfw diarrhea at work

[Anonymous No.9853996]

gotta keep some wet wipes on ya always just in case

[Anonymous No.9854007]

xD

[Anonymous No.9854089]

>>9853979
how do we monetize this

[Anonymous No.9854159]

>>9854089
Short the company op works at. Stock will go down as a result of decreased productivity resulting from op shitting his pants.

[Anonymous No.9854246]

>>9854089
We short the market.

Aka we sell shorts outside of OP's workplace since he's too dumb to superglue his asshole shit like a normal functioning member of society

[Anonymous No.9854273]

>>9854089
Take a picture of the toilet, before and after.
Tell your boss you might have to make extra toilet trips.

Worst case scenario nothing happens.
Medium case, he understands toilet trips and you get paid to shit.
Best case you are sent home for the afternoon.

[Anonymous No.9854280]

>>9854089
Short pants, long sharts.

[Anonymous No.9854296]

>>9853979
go home

[Anonymous No.9854330]

>>9854246
Topkek

[Anonymous No.9854772]

>>9853979
Lose weight you fat fuck.
or eat some proper food, not this processed, tapeworm-ridden mutt import shit.

[Anonymous No.9854879]

kek

[Anonymous No.9854902]

>>9854772
Diarrhea happens when you eat expired food or not fully washed too, dumbass.

[Anonymous No.9854929]

>>9854089
Go 100x long on toilet paper companies

[Anonymous No.9854967]

>>9853979
>litteraly paid to poo in the loo
>free toilet paper
what's not to like ?

[Anonymous No.9854998]

>>9853979
Go home sick you fucking cunt. If i worked with you and got liquid ass because you didn't go sick, id fucking shit on your face

[Anonymous No.9855072]

>>9853979
I have diarrhea too anon, can't even enjoy Nintendo's E3 presentation properly, feelsbadman.

[Anonymous No.9855115]

>be wagecuck
>have to take a shit
>take phone charger with me as I leave my desk and tell the blonde hottie working next to me that I‘m going to take a big fat ogre shit
>go downstairs to the retard toilet
>has lots of room in it so retards in wheelchairs can fit in
>undress completely and proceed to take a shit naked can stretch legs out comfortable
>browse the internet on my phone til my ass is empty
>shit for over 1 hour everyday at work (sometimes 2)

[Anonymous No.9855125]

>>9855115
Do your legs not go numb?

[Anonymous No.9855133]

>>9854967
This. Best time to have the shits is at work. Just better hope it clears up before you gotta drive home.

[Anonymous No.9855143]

>>9855125
I‘m a Veteran shitter, I‘m used to this.

[Anonymous No.9855218]

>>9853979
I have this problem too, but my shits have been soft and dark red for the past 3 days.

>Do I have dysentery guys?

[Anonymous No.9855222]

>>9855218
its probably colon cancer

[Anonymous No.9855234]

>>9855218
RIP, bro

[Anonymous No.9855241]

>>9855222
Fuck off you're lying

[Anonymous No.9855268]

>>9855115
nice pasta, if you know what I mean

[Anonymous No.9855544]

>>9853979
thats a rough one, anon
my condolences

[Anonymous No.9855699]

plot twist:

OP is femanon

[Anonymous No.9855720]

>tfw diarrhea every single day

[Anonymous No.9855753]

>>9855218
>dark red for the past 3 days.
you`re bleeding, you dumb fuck

[Anonymous No.9855784]

>>9854902
>>9854772

or, you know
when youre fucking sick

god damn you guys act like youve never had a really bad flu before

[Anonymous No.9855835]

>>9853979
>>tfw diarrhea at work
>>9854929
>Go 100x long on toilet paper companies

this is some hedge fund wizardry

[Anonymous No.9855905]

>>9853979

Stop eating out so much and wash your hands before you eat you fucking degenerate.

>tfw haven't had diarrhea in almost 10 years
>tfw regulated bowel movements every day

[Anonymous No.9855954]

>>9855115
sitting on the toilet that long isnt healthy