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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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File: 177 KB, 859x1076, bizume.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9752013 No.9752013 [Reply] [Original]

>look for entry level jobs
>Must have a Bachelor's Degree with a minimum of a 4.0 GPA
>Candidates with no experience welcomed
>Must have 2 years of relevant working experience
>Must have experience using proprietary software
>Must know 3 programming languages
>Must be proficient in Microsoft Excel macros
>Must be willing to work 5.5 day work week
>Must be willing to work on Federal Holidays
>Must be well-versed in government regulations, in particular Section 309 and 481
>Required languages: English, Chinese, Indian, Korean, Japanese, Mexican
>Salary: $21,600
>Check who else applied
>Pajeets with Masters degrees asking for $12,000

>> No.9752029

>>9752013
>Certificate in Financial Markets
>High School Diploma
>Gamestop (NYSE: GME)
>CUSTOMER RELATIONS EXECUTIVE
>Interests: Anime, Manga, Skipping rope, Video games, ESPORTS, Twitch, YouTube, Netflix, IMAGEBOARDS
>IMAGEBOARDS

>> No.9752033

If this is your resume, they're rejecting you because your resume formatting is retarded

>> No.9752045

>>9752013
Move to a better country

>> No.9752057

>look for a job at all
spotted you're mistake right there

>> No.9752059

>>9752029
>>9752033
https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/investment-banking-resume-template
Got it from wallstreetoasis, the breeding ground of investment bankers

>> No.9752062

Welcome to the job market.

>> No.9752064

>>9752013
Probably because you seem like a fucking nerd

>skipping rope

Wew what the fuck

>> No.9752073

>>9752064
fuck you, skipping rope is cool
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5m1O5niSr0

>> No.9752075

>>9752029
>Interests: Anime, Manga, Skipping rope, Video games, ESPORTS, Twitch, YouTube, Netflix, IMAGEBOARDS
holy shit I didnt get that far, fucking savage

>> No.9752084

>>9752073
so? not an interest, just a warmup

>> No.9752089

>>9752073
I can say with 100% certainty it is not

>> No.9752093

Real advice:

Remove your interests section. It makes you look like a no-life autistic loser.

Being proficient in excel, powerpoint firefox, or chart reading isn't a skill. If you don't have those skills then you're a below 80 IQ brainlet.

Don't list stock tickers next to the company name. People know what Walmart and Gamestop is.

"Cash management specialist" is an extremely bullshit way to say you operated the cash register at Walmart.

Essentially, managers can probably smell your bullshit a mile away with this retarded resume.

>> No.9752106

>>9752059
yeah, no.

>Conversational skills in Japanese

Weeb detected

>> No.9752140

Thanks OP had a good laugh hope this all just bait and you dont actually put weaboo shit in your resume as interests

>> No.9752168
File: 616 KB, 400x200, 200.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9752168

>>9752013

>> No.9752179

>>9752106
Obvious sarcasm is obvious. I thought you were smart from your larp threads yesterday. You having an off day or something?

>> No.9752195

>>9752179
With the amount of absolute brainlet posts on this board, I can't tell the difference between bait and people who genuinely have an IQ below 100

>> No.9752258 [DELETED] 

Holy shit, your resume has terrible. I'd hire someone who got their GED in prison before I'd hire you.

Don't even list GameStop and Walmart.

Cut all the bullshit out of there.

Get rid of your interests, and don't list basic operation of a computer as skills.