/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.9718733]

>be at work
>go to the bathroom
>spend 10 minutes on the toilet, only 1 minute actually shitting. Mostly browsing the web on the phone

[Anonymous No.9718753]

I've done this a few times. However, there were a few occasions where I passed someone in the hall on the way in and out. That looks pretty bad, especially if the same person sees you more than once.

You also risk having to listen to Dan from IT having the noisiest, smelliest, crap of all time.

[Anonymous No.9718777]

>>9718733
Any advice how to do this?

[Anonymous No.9718789]

I did this during my apprenticeship but it took a bit longer for me to do the needful.

[Anonymous No.9718791]

>>9718753
Yeah, you dont want to have to hear Dan grunting one out.

>Rrr...r...
>RUHH...
>hnnnggg . . .*PLOP*...OH.
>ennnnnnuhhhhh....oh my god....

You really think 10 minutes of "alone" time is worth hearing that?

[Anonymous No.9718854]

>>9718733

>Go to work
>Take a shyte
>Walk around for the rest of the day, with a greasy, shitty asshole, with poo crumbs riding on the hairs, and a streak developing on the underwear and the sweat and fecal residue making their way to the cloth of the pants through capillary action in the fabric

Are people that defecate outside of their private residence absolute trash on the same level as livestock and pajeets?

How is it even remotely acceptable to walk around with a dirty asshole for the rest of your day?

Without actually showering or washing after a poop, it's NEVER possible to get the area clean.

[Anonymous No.9718871]

> lost job due to crypto anxiety and stress
> whole life is in disarray

[Anonymous No.9718886]

>>9718871

>Being this weak

Nigger, I held half a million REQ through a $1.20 to 15 cents and barely flinched.

You're not cut out for this.

[Anonymous No.9718913]

>>9718753
if your bathroom break is lets say 11mins is it really that bad?

i cant shit/wipe/clean up even in 5mins

[Anonymous No.9718934]

>>9718854
If you eat a healthy diet you take clean swipes and this isnt a problem.

I take huge shits and my asshole is pink and pristinr afterwards.

I can tell youre a fatfuck american who eats mcdonalds all day and blows up the toilet with diarrehea everytime. Youll never know these clean swipe feels, fatfuck.

[Anonymous No.9718956]

But I bet you support Bernie, unions and hate ebul capitalists who are exploiting you.

[Anonymous No.9719045]

>>9718854
It’s not ideal but I’m not holding it in all day.

[Anonymous No.9719070]

>>9718854
Baby wipes

[Anonymous No.9719088]

>>9719070
I'm not some gay person but thanks

[Anonymous No.9719172]

>>9719088
If you're paranoid about the cleanliness of your asshole like >>9718854 is then baby wipes are pretty much your only option. Since you seem to have a fragile masculinity, they've started marketing masculine wipes to needle dicks like you.

[Anonymous No.9719199]

>>9719172
This
Now stfu

[Anonymous No.9719220]

>>9718733
>he isn‘t sitting on the toilet everyday for hours

You are like a little babby

[Anonymous No.9719221]

>>9718913
I'm not saying I've never spent that long on the toilet but under normal circumstances I'm out in less than three.

[Anonymous No.9719277]

>>9718934
>If you eat a healthy diet you take clean swipes and this isnt a problem.

Not true at all.

If you pass a shit, you will inevitably be left with residues and crumbs that wiping will eliminate.

You're a filthy fucking animal, please change your habits.

The people at my office who are known public shitters I avoid being near them physically because of the micro residues of feces they are covered in.

[Anonymous No.9719289]

>>9719277
>will eliminate.

Will never eliminate.

Fixed.

[Anonymous No.9719299]

>>9718733
>Go to the toilet 8-10 times per day for 5-10 minutes. Sometimes even fapping
>Browse on various sites
>Slowly do your work
>Still get salary raises and praises for my excellent work.
What?

[Anonymous No.9719315]

>>9719277
You're not completely wrong, it's just that never shitting in public is incredibly impractical. Do you avoid social engagements after work to go home and shit properly? I can't imagine you're working a peak efficiency if you're holding in shit all day. The sad fact is that there's microscopic amounts of fecal matter all over the place and not shitting at work really isn't limiting your exposure much.

[Anonymous No.9719316]

>>9719070

>Being a White-bread Unitedstation

Sorry, I'm of a more distinguished background.

We also season our food and have genuine culture. The only culture Unitedstations have is Negro music, smoking weed on the weekend and apparently walking around with dirty assholes.

[Anonymous No.9719391]

>>9718854
>not using wet wipes to finish your wipe

you live in a 2nd / 3rd world country, right?

[Anonymous No.9719469]

>>9718854
Fucking children
>baby wipes
Baby wipes have a scent. Even the ones that say no scent have a scent. Everyone knows. It's almost grosser than smelling like a fart all day. Almost
>walk into bathroom
>grab thick handful of paper towels
>get them wet
>discretely walk into stall
Easy. You shit and you scrub with wet towels. Wipe clean with tp too obv. Learn fucking amateurs.

Also a good shit should kill at least 1 hour of the day. Now you have only 7 more to work you're welcome.

[Anonymous No.9719511]

>>9719315

> Do you avoid social engagements after work to go home and shit properly?

Absolutely. My discomfort going into a social gathering with the feeling of a greasy asshole would be sheer terror and debilitating paralysis.

[Anonymous No.9719512]

>>9719469
Just spit on the toilet paper

[Anonymous No.9719513]

>>9719469
Bro, you can't be flushing paper towels down the toilet lol. Any coworker that sees you doing bringing wet paper towels into the stall with you will think you're a fucking psychopath.

[Anonymous No.9719528]

>>9719391

A wet wipe will STILL not do the job, because the sphincter takes several minutes after the poop to fully close itself.

In the process, it squeezes out the last crumbs and bits of poo, so even AFTER you wiped, some of it comes up.

Elevate your defecation game m8.

[Anonymous No.9719536]

>>9719511
Seems like you may be suffering from some OCD bro. You can't let your asshole get in the way of a normal life. Fortunately, I think bidets may become more common in America soon. People have been buying bidet hookups from Amazon and will come to prefer a cleaner asshole.

[Anonymous No.9719546]

>>9719469

Absolutely trash response from a disgusting sub-human animal.

Read this:>>9719528

[Anonymous No.9719561]

>>9718854
>sweat and fecal residue making their way to the cloth of the pants through capillary action in the fabric


lmao'd in real life

[Anonymous No.9719563]

>shitposting: the thread