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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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9645295 No.9645295 [Reply] [Original]

>Be me
>Work 2 hours and 30 minutes this morning
>Have to shit twice
Who here also getting paid to shit??

>> No.9645301

I work 15hrs a week in one shift, get paid good for it too. Fucking love spending a good 1/10 of my shift on the dunny.
Best feeling in the world

>> No.9645308

fix your diet

>> No.9645316

>>9645308
But I need the gainzzz

>> No.9645336
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9645336

>>9645316
i shit twice a week MAX
WTf is wrong with you, shitter
Must be annoying to wipe all the time

I trade crypto during my shift instead of shit tho
Cuz all i have to do is let rich guests in their apartment, and give them packages sometimes.

EZ

>> No.9645342

>>9645295
The only people who shit that much are fatties.

How fat are you?

>> No.9645357 [DELETED] 

>>9645336
What job is that?

>> No.9645362

At least you produce something at work, better than most people.

>> No.9645365
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9645365

>>9645357
Concierge of a high end apartment
mfw hot porn stars live there
Actors and such

Looks like a hotel desu but its not

It has its down sides tho anon, some rude guests who visit etc

>> No.9645386

>>9645336
twice a week? thats not healthy anon..
I shit every morning at 8am , every afternoon at 3pm and every night at 10pm ish
Its clockwork how can you not live like that?
I would explode I think...

>> No.9645406

>>9645336
Twice a week? You might be obstipated anon. I have healthy shits every morning and my toilet paper is always clean as fuck. Eat more fiber you lazy fucks, get some exercise even if it's just walking. Exercise is good for your brain, look up brain-derived neurotrophic factor
t. med student

>> No.9645433
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9645433

>>9645386
I am constipated :(
It's annoying
>>9645406
Greets medfag, i know all about exercise. I've just been lazy recently. And the drugs don't help....
Actually the drug im on causes constipation, something about the dopamine stimulation and the gut.... or it just dries out my body

t. meth user

>> No.9645462

>>9645433
Plenty of drugs can cause obstipation yeah. Please still do some walking as even walking 30 minutes straight every day will improve digestion rate and bowel movements. Recently I saw a rave druggie in the clinic who hadn't had a bowel movement for almost 2 weeks. His eventual shit took close to 3 hours to pass and hard as a rock. Rectal tears aren't fun anon, take care of yourself

>> No.9645651

>>9645462
roger that
ty

>> No.9645694

>>9645336
i have similar problem

>> No.9645764

As a security guard i am literally being paid to sleep, spent my entire 8 hour shift the other day asleep in the company truck with AC blasting. Good shit guys.

>> No.9645878

>>9645295
Quality thread

>> No.9645922

>>9645764
lol, that doesnt seem very secure

>> No.9645931

About to go take a shit lads, wish me luck

>> No.9645932

Delivering the kids to the pool as I type. Being paid for that is priceless.

>> No.9645971
File: 172 KB, 850x1128, 3a969140a5e03ad77019c57397dde4c0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9645971

Get back work wagie me no pay you for poopy!

>> No.9645973

>>9645295
>be me
>work from home once a week
>get paid to shit, smoke weed, drink beer and masturbate

>> No.9645985

>>9645764
you're going to lose your job

>> No.9646037

>>9645931
finished

Shit came out smoothly, little residue

Also do you guys also just have the best feeling in your asshole sitting down in a comfy chair after a shit or is it just me?

>> No.9646038

body always needs to shit 2 hours after I wake up. start work at 7:30 before anyone else gets there besides 1 or 2 others, by time its 9:30-10 everyone is at work, always joke i spend to much in the toilet in the morning, tell them fuck you ive been here for 2 hours i gotta shit
>$28 a hour, spend at least 1 hour a day on the toilet hehe

>> No.9646063

I work 4 times a week
>arrive at my standard 10m late time
>drink coffee smoke sigg for 10m
>good 15m shit

I have managed to steal away 1+h daily for poops and siggs. And don't get me started on my lunchbreak. For me 30m starts when I sit down and start the meal. Premeal cigarette doesn't count!

>> No.9646176

I've been getting paid to shit ever since my first job. Congrats faggot op on being a normal person.

>> No.9646191

this is what wagecucking will do to a person. it will make them devote mental resources to tactically be able to use a basic bodily function to steal labor from their employer. if the average wagecuck put as much effort into their actual job as they did with imagining ways to get out of doing it, they wouldn't be so fucking poor

>> No.9646224

>>9646191
based NEET with the truth bombs

>> No.9646320

>>9645295
I never shit at home anymore. Always take a wicked shit at work. Been following fits advice for years..... eating high fibre, loads of vegetables and meat etc etc
Some of the pipes I've laid at work. I'm honestly surprised there hasn't been plumbing problems.Sometimes it takes more than two flushes to get it all down.

>> No.9646348

I stopped shitting at work because one time I clogged the bathroom with a monster shit (I eat a lot, and Im skinny, so it all becomes crap), and since I worked with only women, it was really embarassing.

>> No.9646353

>>9646348
Please elaborate. What did they say?

>> No.9646409

>>9646353
Nothing, it was just obvious it was me, since I was the last one that used the toilet and if anyone tried getting in the smell was noticeable. Since it was our only toilet, I felt like I ruined everyones day. It was just like a silent judgment of me, nothing that really affected our relationship, more like an awkward event we didnt talk about. Work awkwardness happens, it's part of life.

After about an hour the water had softened it enough to unclog it with another flush, so it was resolved.

>> No.9646447

>>9646409
by yourself?

>> No.9646453

>>9646409
I think it's worse if your co-workers are your own age and attractive enough to date.
Is this your predicament?

>> No.9646467

>>9646409
Yeah, I went back to flush it.

>>9646453
They actually were my age and pretty girls too. I didnt really make that big deal of it, so it didnt reaaally matter, it was just for an hour. I was friends with them and everyone was professional about it (we are all lawyers). I think they understood that it wasnt really something I had control over.

Anyway, I started to shit before going to work after that, or hold it in until I go home.

>> No.9646479

>>9646467
>(we are all lawyers)
laughing.pepe

>> No.9646519

>>9646467
>They actually were my age and pretty girls too
That's rough
I know that feeling too. They look at you differently after that.

>> No.9646531

>>9646519
> They look at you differently after that.

To be honest, I really dont think they did, it was just an awkward one-time thing work event, I didnt care much about it and neither did them. We all had much bigger things to worry about.

>> No.9646564

>>9645295
I'm studying rn and work part time in a chocolate factory for 10-15€/hour depending on day and shift. I'm in the logistical sector where i can wear my hoodie, eat all the time, smoke all the time and shit atound or do nothing sll the time since I just work like 3-4 hours in every 8 hour shift

>> No.9646599

>>9645336
t. dyel skelly

>> No.9646615

>>9645295
im a business owner and i always fire employees who take frequent bathroom breaks.

>> No.9646627
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9646627

>>9646063
My man.

Been waiting for a thread like this.

I get paid for 40 hours each week but:

>Monday: scheduled for 9 hours. Always leave an hour early, sometimes I’m 2 hours late (depends on the agenda).

Tue: off

>Wed: work full shift (10 hours). Unsupervised so probably do about 2 hours of real work, max.

>Thursday: get paid for 9 hours of work, leave 4-5 hours early almost every week. Only do about 2 hours of easy work.

Fri: off

>Sat: get paid for 12 hours, 3+ hours late every week. Do about 3 houses of mostly easy work.

Sun: off

I basically get paid 40 hours a week (3 days off) to watch tv, shitpost, vape weed, trade crypto and fuck my girl, and sometimes nap. I average about 10 hours of real work. Been here almost 6 years and am beloved in my company.

>Also free wet wipes for when I gotta shit.

>> No.9646646

>>9646564
>chocolate factory
Is this an elaborate ruse

>> No.9646657

>>9645295
I make a penny, they make a dime
thats why I shit on company time

>> No.9646690

>>9646627
What do you do?

>> No.9646750

>>9645971
Sorry i only take orders from my moneymakers