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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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9183024 No.9183024 [Reply] [Original]

>tfw blood in my shit and it hurts to sit down

How do I sit down less during the day? It’s so easy to sit for hours and hours while trading and make your piles worse and worse.

>> No.9183256
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9183256

help

I know some of you turbo autist traders have dealt with this

>> No.9183260

>>9183024
bright red or dark red blood we talking anon?

>> No.9183266

We literally had a mega thread on this two weeks ago and several
Biz MDs chimed in. Where the fuck were you?

>> No.9183270
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9183270

>>9183024

get a standing desk or one of these

i bought one, used it for a like a week and then went back to sitting all day

>> No.9183275

>>9183024
If hemorrhoids, witch hazel on them helps shrink them.

>> No.9183338

>>9183024
the piles are being caused by swelling in your hemorrhoids
to reduce swelling, you will need to drain a little bit of blood from your hemorrhoids
to do this, get a mirror, a water proofed head lamp, and an X-ACTO knife, and squat over the mirror in the shower, the light should bounce of the mirror, and into your asshole, where you should be able to see the swollen hemorrhoids. open your asshole with two fingers, and use your other hand to grip the X-ACTO knife, and use the knife's tip to poke a hole in your hemorrhoids. this should drain your blood, and make sitting more comfortable
if shitting is still painful, repeat the process, but press the X-ACTO knife harder

>> No.9183349

>>9183338
What the fuck. I just threw up

>> No.9183358

>>9183024
One time i was really constipated and i just couldnt push out this massive log and after sitting on the toilet for over 30 i just said fuck it and i pushed as hard as i could and it hurt so bad but i did it i pushed out the fattest turd ive ever seen but i ripped my asshole and there was so much blood. I had a bloody anus for weeks hang in there op

>> No.9183372

>>9183260
Bright red. It’s just the hemorrhoids bleeding as the stool passes by.
>>9183266
I was probably California Dreaming

>> No.9183381

>>9183358
why dont you use your hand to crush the turd to small pieces?
That's how you poop for big turd, isnt it?

>> No.9183394

>>9183024
People who sit down for long periods of time (more than 1 hour sessions) increase thier chance of bowel cancer by 45%, time for a ass camera check OP

>> No.9183412

>>9183394
I already had that (colonoscopy) and they said I was fine. The discomfort went away for a few months and now it’s back.

>> No.9183424

>>9183024
It's punishment for your sloth. Live with it or learn to be more active. At least try to drink more water.

>> No.9183445

>>9183358
What I do when I have a huge shit like that is poke about an inch out of my asshole and chop the tip with my powerful anus. Repeat until the entire turd is chopped up and evacuated.

>> No.9183580

>>9183445
You have a guillotine asshole?

>> No.9183620

>>9183024
>priced in

>> No.9184097

Try fasting for a while? Water fasting for example.

>> No.9184111

>>9183024
walk it off, pussy.

>> No.9184127

>>9183024
you probably have cancer.

>> No.9184131

>>9183349
i just laughed so hard i almost threw up reading your reply.