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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

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9175828 No.9175828 [Reply] [Original]

Going to my first day on the new job. It's a cushy small office job with some data analytics.

Give me some pointers to set me up to make it.

>> No.9175911
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9175911

Take a giant shit on your bosses desk on your first day. It will show him that you respect him and are grateful for being hired. You're welcome :D

>> No.9175974

>>9175828
>job
>comfy

>> No.9176082

Figure out the result you want first, then torture the data until you get the result

Your only job is to make your boss look good (applies to all non-commission based corporate cuck arrangements)

>> No.9176132

networking is more important, suck your bosses dick

also do the minimum required unless you like doing extra work for free

>> No.9176333

>>9175828
Don't be too good at your job that they expect you to always be exceptional, and don't suck so much that they fire you

>> No.9176392

15 percent to your 401k....change your 401k investments to all stocks, you'll get the highest yields but are young enough that if the market crashes you still have plenty of time to recover it

>> No.9176409

>>9176333
trips of good advice

>> No.9176435

>>9176333
This.
t. Overworked/underpaid

>> No.9176699

>>9175828
Disgusting wagie.

>> No.9177380

>>9176333
kekd at this
tfw constatntly on verge of being fired, while high performer wagecucks are raped with 2-3x more work for the same shekels

>> No.9177404

>>9175828

Keep your god damn mouth shut. Weasely little fuckheads will run and tell everything.

>> No.9177475
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9177475

>>9177404
So much this. Never, ever, ever trust a co worker like a friend, it is only a matter of time before they use something you have said pr done as leverage on you. Be the grey man, smile be nice but no too close or personal, blend in like the fern in the corner and take you direct deposit and build your portfolio. Make friends and get pussy outside of work ALWAYS.

>> No.9177519

>>9175828

Nate, stop browsing 4chan and get your ass back to work. It's a security risk. First and last warning. Connections to 4chan are automatically flagged and your browsing history can be seen by our IT department, or yours truly.

Start crunching numbers, you're getting paid for it.

>> No.9177553

>>9175828
You won't, its a small office like you say, there's hardly any growth opportunity. Just do your job and save up/invest and/or have a sideproject that can lead to independence/your own business.

>Want what you have, not what you don't have. This is the secret to happiness. -Buddha
Guess you can try that ^

>> No.9177575
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9177575

>>9175828
If theres any hot female co-workers in your office, offer them a cup of coffee and jizz in it.

>> No.9177839

Dont make eye contact with roasties

They ruin everything even your (((job))) cuckboi :3