/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.90840]

RESUME THREAD
>would you hire me?
>resume critiques
>help a neet out thread

Post your anonymous resumes and let us bash it down so you'll land that fucking job and stop being a neet

[Anonymous No.90907]

put education on top and get rid of the objective

[Anonymous No.90914]

>korean

[Anonymous No.90928]

>>90907
I will second the getting rid of objective. You really don't need to say that shit

[Anonymous No.90929]

OBJECTIVE? THE FUCK

[Anonymous No.90984]

also, more colour, that design looks really boring, and you won't get noticed at all.

[Anonymous No.90989]

>Korean

Into the trash it goes

[Anonymous No.91007]

>>90984
Don't forget to change the font to comic sans, too

[Anonymous No.91002]

>>90907
I'd keep the objective, but move the education higher.

The summary of experience is too long and too general. You saw hundreds of patients? That's bullshit, you should see hundreds in less than five workdays. Talk about how prestigious your workplace was and how lucky they will to have you.

>bilingual and can code webpages
The bilingual is impressive the webwork is not so much. If you can show how these skills either helped at the last job (korean patients) or managing a webpage then its good.

Its unfocused and general. You literally wrote that you can chew bubblegum and wipe your ass. You can meet your minimum requirements but are you actually a rockstar?

[Anonymous No.91013]

m8

[Anonymous No.91040]

>>91013
lel get back to morrisons pleb
your shift manager needs his nappy changed

[Anonymous No.91043]

>>91013
>smart motivated responsible
Overused buzzwords for something that is already the minimum.

Margret Thacher said that if you have to tell people you're a lady, you aren't. If you have to tell somebody you're smart, motivated and responsible...figure it out.

[Anonymous No.91080]

>>91013
>interests
trash can

>>90840
what would you say you actually...do... here?

[Anonymous No.91095]

>>91013
>>91080
>having interests other than golfing
Utter failure

[Anonymous No.91103]

>>91013
> smart
> gets a D in art
> only one A

[Anonymous No.91123]

tfw shit gpa
tfw no related work experience
tfw no research
tfw no references
tfw into the trash it goes

[Anonymous No.91216]

>>90907
Disagree. Objective it always a must. And whether or not to have education or work experience first depends on which one is more current and relevant.

[Anonymous No.91296]

>>91216
No its redundant. The employer already knows what position youre applying for. Plus the objective is already in the CV.

objective is only helpful if you were at like a career fair handing resumes out to everyone and not applying to any specific position.

[Anonymous No.91301]

>>91216
When you hand a resume to an employer, your objective in doing so is perfectly fucking clear. If you want to put in 'life objective' then be my guest, but putting in "I WANT THE JOB YOU'RE OFFERING" just makes you look like a mouthbreathing retard

[Anonymous No.91336]

>>90840

I'd hire you as a janitor.

[Anonymous No.91339]

>>91296
>>91301
Ok, I see the confusion because I didn't read OP's CV thoroughly. Objective/summary is important at the top. However, in the OP's post it's poorly written. It shouldn't be "I want to apply for you because xxx". A good CV starts with an objective/summary of about 1-2 lines saying who you are, what you can do, and what you want to do in the future.

[Anonymous No.91368]

>>91013
lolz terrible grades

[Anonymous No.91371]

>>90840
>HTML, CSS, Javascript
>skills

[Anonymous No.91390]

Does anyone have a good resume? These are seriously weak as shit

[Anonymous No.91432]

>>91390
Mine is pretty nice, but I would have to blank out a lot of it for privacy reasons, so what would remain wouldn't be helpful unfortunately...

[Anonymous No.91429]

>>91390
pic related

[Anonymous No.91444]

>>91432
blank it out and post it, change stuff around like
>>91123

[Anonymous No.91572]

What am I suppose to put on this resume if I have no prior work experience?

I got no skills either.

Plus I never volunteered for anything.....at all.

All I can really put down is that I went to x high school and currently attending y college. Just how fucked am I? Any ideas on how I can bullshit this to make it look halfway decent?

[Anonymous No.91584]

>>91572

Easy - Lie. Just lie trivially enough they won't waste their time verifying.

[Anonymous No.91589]

>>91572
post your resume and put your class projects like finals and whatnot if it's big and legit

[Anonymous No.91599]

>>90840
>Korean

no

[Anonymous No.91607]

>>91584
embellish

[Anonymous No.91630]

>>91432
That doesn't really work though. I have a good looking resume because:

* I went to a top name school
* I took a prestigious internship at an extremely well-regarded company
* My on-campus work is impressive because of what I do and the specific program I do it with
* The results my side projects have generated

I sure as shit wouldn't want to be identified as posting on 4chan. In order to anonymize my resume I would have to gut it of all the things which make it good.

[Anonymous No.91666]

>>91630
Pretty much mine as well is like that. Most things on it are pretty specific.

[Anonymous No.91658]

>>90840

If I'm a male, should I include that I'm a feminist in my resume?

Wouldn't this tell employers I've an instinctual sense for justice, equality and will always do the right thing.

I'm a freelance ruby engineer but im looking for PM positions

[Anonymous No.91669]

>>91630
cocky much?

[Anonymous No.91687]

>>91658

If its a predominantly female company or female lead you might want to tell then you're sexually submissive too so they know they've an obedient beta around the office

[Anonymous No.91688]

>>91669
Have you seen the resumes that have been posted so far? Seems like we're setting a pretty low bar here.

[Anonymous No.91700]

>>91013
>putting grades for individual classes

[Anonymous No.91712]

>>91688
haha, i was just being jelly. you prob earned your accomplishments rightfully, congrats.

unless youre daddy helped you with everything, then fuck you

[Anonymous No.91787]

>>91013
>all those grades

Dude, if the company really gave a shit about your grades then you ought to bring them, or they'll get your signature for your approval to retrieve them.

It's just a waste of space for real resume shit.

[Anonymous No.91836]

The ability to manufacture water at neither a profit nor loss.

But a profit would be nice.

You would win so many prizes and entitlements for this.

[Anonymous No.91867]

>>91013
>>90840
>these resumes

Well, at least now I can feel much better about myself.

[Anonymous No.91885]

>>91712
>being made because people are born into middle/upper class and they're parents pay for they're university
Poorfugs

[Anonymous No.91897]

Here's mine. I improved it after the thread yesterday.

[Anonymous No.91954]

>>91885
i got a full scholarship to my uni,so i dont need mommy and daddy to help

[Anonymous No.91968]

Rate may resume. I have gotten into several lucrative positions with it.

[Anonymous No.92142]

>>91123
how can i improve mine? theres tons of chem e here so any help/bashing would be aprreciated

[Anonymous No.92164]

>>92142
Resume should never be more than one page. Are you writing a CV or resume?

[Anonymous No.92184]

>>92164
the first page is a cover letter

[Anonymous No.92210]

>>91013
>Those grades
Man, if I were in a fucking coffin in a graveyard I'd probably still be hired over you and I have 0 work experience apart from some part time job/freelancing experiences.

[Anonymous No.92214]

I've never sent in a resume/CV. All good places to work have online application forms.

[Anonymous No.92337]

>>91013
>Personal skills
= you're a MMO playing nerd

[Anonymous No.93119]

>>91897
looks kinda boring/generic with the white spaces on the left
it would get lost in the electronic pile though

see the format here:
http://www.careercup.com/resume

[Anonymous No.94668]

Where would you put things like fraternity involvement or marching band?

[Anonymous No.94677]

>>92214

>mfw people actually believe this

[Anonymous No.94685]

>worrying about a resume

Step 1: Get shitty job.
Step 2: Be very fucking productive.
Step 3: Get better shitty job.
Step 4: Repeat until death.

[Anonymous No.94687]

>>94685
>good goyim

[Anonymous No.94693]

Fill up employment gaps with volunteer experience even if it's made up. Shit, you don't even need a gap to do that.

[Anonymous No.94714]

>>94687

It works for me. I don't want to be a manager, and I don't ever want to work more than 40 hours a week. I've never been fired and I've never been poor. I've also never been stressed about work. It's easier (and better, IMO) to start making money outside of work than to try to get an elite job.

[Anonymous No.94721]

My overall GPA is less than ideal. If I only write my in-major GPA will employers know in hiding something?

[Anonymous No.94730]

>>94721
Don't put your GPA on unless you did really well. If it's not important to the job, it won't matter if you have a high one (and a low one will hurt you) and if it is important then they will ask you and you can tell them.

[Anonymous No.94735]

>>94721
Don't put your gpa at all.

[Anonymous No.94770]

>>91584
>Easy - Lie.

Do not do this under any circumstances when applying for government jobs. They will check and verify everything you put down on your resume.

[Anonymous No.96285]

[Anonymous No.96302]

>>96285

Where'd this template come from? I've used it and gotten shit loads of job offers but I kind of want the original.

My resume includes a bunch of programming in a specific niche so it doesn't matter if it looks like shit. Recruiters on DICE mine that shit hard.

[Anonymous No.96357]

>>91123
Why would you put a GPA on your resume if it wasn't really good? It's not like an obligation to put it on there, most people don't AFAIK

[Anonymous No.96377]

>>91390
I do but it wouldn't make much sense with my personal information removed so I can't post it

people in this thread should learn InDesign or at least basic formatting, these all look like trash. at least that would distract from the content

also everyone already knows what your objective is and no one cares about irrelevant work experience, irrelevant hobbies or your shitty GPA

[Anonymous No.96556]

Bump, someone post some decent resumes so I can shamelessly steal your ideas

[Anonymous No.96652]

none of you list years you worked for companies performing certain duties

none of you have letters of recommendation

none of you have real work experience outside of your shitty for profit school

[Anonymous No.96655]

>>91968

This is the only one I cared to open.

Aka.

Congrats, you got the job.

[Anonymous No.96659]

>>90840
I'm in deep
Anyone have books they recommand on job search?
Also how to hide the fact I haven't work in 2 years?

[Anonymous No.96669]

>>96652
why would you put a letter of rec in a resume

[Anonymous No.96684]

The fuck are you guys doing? Get your shit together.

[Anonymous No.96711]

>>96684

[Anonymous No.96717]

>>96711
I'm currently working at Google. By all means, keep posting, your tears are delicious.

[Anonymous No.96724]

>>96684
>OS
>not proficient in BSD, Hurd, Solaris
>programming
>scheme/lisp not listed
I hope you know where this resume is going.

[Anonymous No.96741]

>>96717

>works at google
>getting mad at 4chan

You have a serious inferiority complex, good god.

[Anonymous No.96739]

>>96717
>working at Google
>accomplishment
Keep deluding yourself friend.

[Anonymous No.96745]

>>96717

[Anonymous No.96753]

>>91123
tldr
keep it in one page fag

[Anonymous No.96762]

How about me guys

[Anonymous No.96766]

>>96762
>Education
>GPA/SAT scores listed
Straight into the trash
t
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a
i
g
h
t

i
n
t
o

t
h
e

t
r
a
s
h

[Anonymous No.96794]

please be gentle :DDD

[Anonymous No.96800]

>>96766

you jelly bro

[Anonymous No.96801]

>>96794
I would have never expected shitposting and resumes to go hand in hand.

[Anonymous No.96822]

Just wanted to get your thoughts on a matter for resume - I graduated last year B.Eng, and uni gives honours based off an average over 12 subjects / 32.

First class / upper second / lower second / third class. so my average marks (sorts like gpa) were .07 off first class honours, which is 1 / 1200 marks away from highest honours. Is there anyway i can get away with saying this without being awkward. At the moment i just have B.Eng (with upper second class honours). Thoughts?

[Anonymous No.96835]

>>96684
>education
>work experience
>research
>no pointless objective or interests no one cares about

This niggas got it figured out.

[Anonymous No.96836]

>>91216
No, objective makes you sound like a kid.

[Anonymous No.96837]

>>96762
way, way too dense

[Anonymous No.96839]

>High school 2006-2008
>1 Certificate (Computer Networking) 2009
>2009-2014 NEET
>Age 20

Gib any job pls

[Anonymous No.96846]

>>96717
Calling bullshit.

[Anonymous No.96851]

>>96659
Say you took 2 gap years / stayed at home to take care of sick mom

[Anonymous No.96864]

>>96684
Good placement of content, but I'd try to fix up the formatting. Like the line-spacing in the Skills & Awards section, and the line-spacing between company names and descriptions.

Would also add more numbers to your job descriptions. For some reason employers love that shit.

[Anonymous No.96878]

>>96822
Probably not? If it's feasible (and depending on the standard in your region, it may not be), leave off mention of honors, just put the raw score. Let that get brought up during interviews.

If you have to leave second-class honors in, then bite the bullet and do it. Live up to your grade, and again, bring it up in interviews. You'll get screened out for some jobs, but at least you'll be a stellar candidate for those that you get interviews for.

[Anonymous No.96880]

>>96762
>lists a 2280 SAT
Unless you got a 2400 no one gives a shit.

[Anonymous No.96888]

>>96762
Great ibanking resume, but WTF is going on with your margins? Add a bit more room in there.

Also, try using formatting other than a simple unordered list. The fact that you're using so many nested lists is hurting your resume.

[Anonymous No.96900]

>>96684
>>>All core courses
>Calculus 1-3 not core courses
>DLD not core course
>Electronics not core courses
>LS not core course
>Circuits not core courses
>ODEs not core course
>"Discrete math" not core course

What shit hole college do you go to?

Also a 16bit ALU in verilog is not impressive and delete GNU from Make

[Anonymous No.96904]

>>96285
7/10
- No work experience? Club activities?
- Just call it "Project Experience", no one wants to read the long title
- IMO shift the bullet points in
- Break up technical skills into Office Suite (or Productivity) and actual tech skills (all the other programs)
- No point showing off "PowerPoint" in resume

[Anonymous No.96905]

objective bullshit is only good if you are giving your resume to a school, and the resume is very specific
other than that is completely unessesary

[Anonymous No.96908]

Don't be to hard on me. I'm fragile.

[Anonymous No.96914]

>>91897
Get a standard format like everyone else. Employers hate atypical formats.

[Anonymous No.96916]

>>96762
>No foreign language or programming skills

into the trash

[Anonymous No.96926]

>>96908
>this guy got an internship at ibm while I'm a homeless NEET
Kill me.

[Anonymous No.96931]

>>96916
Should you actually list languages you know? I'm fluent in 12 languages, should I list them all?

[Anonymous No.96935]

>>96762
- Overall great layout/content, but layered bullet points is a big no-no.
- You basically do nothing but IBD. Even IF you're interviewing for IBD, you will have nothing else to talk about. Put some damned club activities in there, shorten your IBD descriptions.
- Fix up tenses under Service Experience. Even if it's " - Present", put it in past tense. It makes no sense, but it's more pleasing to the eye.

[Official Wrinkle Face™ creat(...) No.96941]

Into the trash! XD XD XD

[Anonymous No.96949]

>>96941
Just make that name an autoban.

[Anonymous No.96946]

>>96935

i think his second section is about building schools and shit in foreign countries

[Anonymous No.96952]

>>96946
Then he should spend more time talking about that. As it is, it's 75% IBD, with some footnotes about service.

Ideally you want a variety of things to talk about.

[Anonymous No.96953]

>>91123
Too tightly packed together

[Anonymous No.96960]

>>96753
it's a cover letter dumbass

[Anonymous No.96964]

>>90840
>All this lack of experience

No wonder you guys are neets

[Anonymous No.96970]

>>96964
>Can't get experience without a job

[Official Wrinkle Face™ creat(...) No.96972]

try to keep up ɛ( º ͜ఎº)ɜ

[Official Wrinkle Face™ creat(...) No.96979]

>>96949
>autoban
into the trash! XD XD XD XD XD

[Anonymous No.97190]

I was the valedictorian from my high school but haven't done anything in the 2 years since I graduated, how can I best market myself to an employer?

[Anonymous No.97205]

>>96972
epic post sir :^)

[Anonymous No.100126]

>>96801
i had one hearty lol at this m8

[Anonymous No.100147]

>can't get experience without a job
>can't get a job without experience
What do, /biz/?

[Anonymous No.100161]

>>100147
If not in school, go back to school.

Get job in school.

[Anonymous No.100184]

>>91123
are you actually able to use matlab?

[Anonymous No.100200]

>applying to universities
>decide to go into co-op program since I don't have any work experience (for when I get a "real" job after graduating)
>accepted into electrical engineering, end up near the top of my class
>can't get a co-op job

[Anonymous No.100241]

>>100147
Get connections and get a job from your connections.

[Anonymous No.100231]

>>100147
Someone to refer you really helps.
They also let you know when openings might be coming up.
I only got my first job through a connection.

[Anonymous No.100346]

>Junior without any experience or internships
>Resume is just my school info and basic descriptions of the stuff I've done in my classes

Welp, Im fucked

[Anonymous No.100467]

>>91123
Fucking alche
Currently doing research on algae to biofuel tech and their website is such a fucking piece of trash

[Anonymous No.100506]

>>96926
To be fair, it can be considered a clever move. This is a resume any HR person would NEVER forget. And his skills are good.

Creativity > formalism

[Anonymous No.100549]

>>91013

>IT literate

Say IT "proficient"

[Anonymous No.100560]

>tfw I worked at Target during college
>tfw pretty easy job with decent pay
>tfw most of the girls that worked and shopped there were hot
>tfw Target offered me an executive position once I graduated
>tfw making $60,000 a year doing a job that is easier and less stressful then the job I had when I started at Target
>tfw when I majored in English

While you losers were studying like faggots for engineering classes I was busy getting laid. Now I have a decent job and you faggots are tying to make resumes but you have no job experience so no one wants to hire you. Maybe if you losers had friends and connections you could get a job. You losers also have to compete with Indians and Chinese that are willing to work for a whole lot less. Moral of the story is work smarter not harder.

[Anonymous No.100686]

>>100147
I did that for fours years after university then I happened to get a job somehow by pure luck after barely leaving my house for years, in the meantime.

>What do, /biz/?
Watch chinese cartoons, drink heavily and masturbate.

[Anonymous No.100779]

>>91429
this is actually pretty cool, and would probably impress employers.

[Anonymous No.100996]

>>96926
>>this guy got an internship at ibm
Are you fucking serious?
As a janitor, right?

[Anonymous No.101014]

My resume is shit and does more harm than good and I know it

>only work experience and references are worthless
>volunteer experience is barely relevant
>GPA isn't worth noting

At least I still have 2 years of college to make connections and have my name slapped on some big projects. At the time being I can't even get a simple job to pay rent.

[Anonymous No.101022]

>>100996
>>96926
Oh, it's in the descriptions, I was just reading "pony stats".
Wow fuck me, this faggot god damn. But he's done some worthwhile stuff so I guess he can get away with something like this.

[Anonymous No.101031]

>>100200

Canada?

[Anonymous No.101562]

-updated resume format, less tight and much easier to read
-hide the 2.8 gpa, although a recruiter once said to show your gpa if it's less than 3 otherwise the think it's worst than my 2.8
-emphasis my class projects since i have no work experiences to show up for it

will this warrant an interview at least?

[Anonymous No.102064]

>>101562
- Take out objective, make "Projects" a separate section from "Education". Put relevant coursework under Education.
- Shift skills to bottom
- More spacing/clearer formatting under Volunteer Activities.

I'd also make the formatting between "Projects" and "Volunteer Activities" more consistent.

[Anonymous No.104177]

Got a phone call, interview and offer for internship on the same day with this just today. I'm fucking ecstatic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93oihEbeKmw

[Anonymous No.104307]

>>104177
Grats looks like that layout is a winner

>>101562

[Anonymous No.104729]

>>104177
Good for you! What line of work?

[Anonymous No.104901]

>>97190
Haven't done anything as in total NEET? What type of job are we talking here?

[Anonymous No.104975]

>>90840
Way too vague. You've got a lot of bullets on that, but no details. Things like "organized" and "analyzed" don't really mean much.

For example:
>Prepared, conducted, and analyzed data collected from clinical studies

Would be better written if you said something like "Prepared clinical data using X software/tool and analyzed to discover/compare Y data."

I don't exactly work in HR, but from my experiences, hiring managers are usually looking for specific examples of things you've done.

[Anonymous No.105021]

>>104729
Thanks, anon. It's a CPA firm.

[Anonymous No.105042]

>>104975
>>102064
Thanks anons

[Anonymous No.106873]

>>96762
Sherjan pls go

[Anonymous No.106963]

>>101562
"Objective" shouldn't be "I want to work for company X". Instead, it should be what kind of work you want and what your future plans are. Such as "I am looking to work in an environment in field X where I can learn about Y and become proficient at Z" or something like that.

[Anonymous No.106975]

>>101014
First, separate education and work experience sections. Then, organize them by most recent first. And out of work experience/education, most the more relevant first. In your case, it could be either, depending on what kind of position you are applying for.

[Anonymous No.107029]

Never post your GPA, test score, or any of that shit on your resume. It screams douchebaggery behavior. Unless they ask, which 99% do not ask, then do not mention it EVER. If they say minimum 3.0 gpa, but never specified, put major gpa. Bitch slap them with their vagueness. Most companies won't bother checking your transcripts, because it will cost some dinero. Make up some activities for your resume, or volunteer experience. The only places that will thoroughly check you, is the government. Specifically the intelligence community, they will know your fapping habits, who you talked to you, and what you said in the past 10 years. Elite tier investment banks also check a lot of things, but not at the level the gov't does it for the IC.

[Anonymous No.107057]

>>107029
Depends on the job you're applying to.

If you're applying to a CPA firm, you goddamn better put your GPA on there or it goes into the trash instantly.

[Anonymous No.107071]

>>90840
Depending on the position, not enough experience. All of your experience comes from one job. Also your objective is too short and would be better placed in a cover letter. Or removed, again, depends on the job.
>>91013
>sense of humor
no. Also I don't feel good about references on request. Have at least one there so they can call right away and ask about you without letting on they are interested. Lie about your failing grades, or omit them. Change your interest in 'computing' to something smarter, eg. information technology.
>>91123
This one is good. Probably remove objective since you have a cover letter.
>>91897
Short and lacking work experience but otherwise not bad, sure are a lot of chem engineers in here.
>>91968
>Stevenspiel
you're hired.
>>96285
Not bad, not great either. I'd look at shortening some bits (no one wants to read in HR), getting some references, talking about your personal benefits apart from your degree (work ethic). Also print it on 24ct gold leaf just because.
>>96684
Including your skype is stupid. Using your university email is elementary, don't do it. Your unusual availability almost immediately strikes you out. Otherwise, you have decent experience and not bad, although the fact that you started, and apparently failed, in a small business setting could look bad in some management positions that you apply for, if anyone cared about that kind of thing.
>>96762
Remove all your brackets, remove sports fan and anything personal, shorten your long winded parts of work experience and also are those work experiences real because they seem a little bit 2fake5me but maybe i'm just being too judgmental, after all IB isn't exactly my field. Otherwise needs some formatting fixed up and definitely needs some extra space in there, remove the bulk.
>>96794
Fairly decent for an unqualified position, would probably hire.
>>101014
Simple, short. Pretty good. You're lacking a lot of experience and your jobs have so far been <1 year.

[Anonymous No.107083]

>>107057
Accounting is a special field with lots of applicants. Most places don't even bother, because they need bodies.

[Anonymous No.107087]

>>107071
In IB it's actually very important to have one line of personal hobbies. Just have the usual inoffensive stuff like sports you are into.

[Anonymous No.107191]

>>104177
where do you get this layout or template link pls?

[Anonymous No.107209]

>>107191
MN_HighSchoolResume.dotm

[Anonymous No.107248]

>>107087
most people will give you plebeian resume feedback.

Stick to sherjans template for IB

[Anonymous No.107349]

Lel, this got me my new job making mad dosh.

[Anonymous No.107355]

>>107349
>skills: computer literacy
Wut.

[Anonymous No.107357]

>>107349
you lied?

[Anonymous No.107363]

>>107355
Computers are a basic part of the finance and banking world nowadays. If you pretend like you're good with them, it makes employers ooh and aah.

>>107357
No? I stuck this shit in MSpaint and took out most of my info.

[Anonymous No.107386]

>>107363
>credit analyst
Seems like a good job that pays really well for early 20s. I am assuming your degree made you stand out.

[Anonymous No.107400]

>>107363
What I mean is that when you list "computer literacy" as a skill, that looks kind of desperate. It's kind of assumed you have it. Instead, you should have a section called "computer skills" where you list what programs/programming languages you are familiar with.

[Anonymous No.107412]

>>107349
That's not a very good resume, I'm afraid. It's not structured. You shouldn't list more than 5 or so lines per job. Also, always have your most recent job first, not the other way around.

Good thing it still got you the job. What's "mad dosh" to you?

[Anonymous No.107458]

>>107386
It was a pretty good job, but BoA doesn't pay as well as most other banks. I started in the low 40s and crawled my way to mid 50s. But I guess that's more than most my age.

>>107400
I couldn't fit my entire resume in one picture. Like I said, I just put chunks of mine into MSpaint. Don't want to get doxed.

>>107412
It's probably a third of my resume, and is just copypasta'd pieces of my actual resume.

>What's "mad dosh" to you?

Well, it doesn't seem like a lot but 67k starting. Job is in credit securities and loan risk.

[Anonymous No.107527]

>>107458
how old are you? just curious

[Anonymous No.107532]

>>107527
25 this october

[Anonymous No.107539]

>>107349
tldr
trash

shorter straight to the point cover letter
cut all that job description by 90%
add to skills.. project management, computer networking
and add an interests... golf, computer engineering and general health & fitness

obviously have a current address phone number and email

also have the number of a referee on there

[Anonymous No.107565]

>>107539
Top kek @ putting interests on a resume.

You probably work for your dad or are still in college.

[Anonymous No.107574]

>>107458
To me, your resume is tl;dr . Especially if you say there's lots more. You shouldn't have 20+ lines per job, only 5 at maximum.

>>107565
It's quite normal to have one line for interests, actually. You probably are still in high school, not knowing about the real world.

[Anonymous No.107587]

>>107565
>golf, computer engineering
how would you add this to a resume without an interest section

and it's CV or curriculum vitae you yank faggots

[Anonymous No.107628]

>>107574
>You probably are still in high school, not knowing about the real world.

I graduated college in 2012 and have held two different professional jobs. Neither of my employers have ever inquired about what sports I like to play or what I do on my free time.

Like I said, in the world of finance it's different. Maybe in engineering they want a few lines, but my employers liked having a long list of all of the skills and traits I gained from each job.

[Anonymous No.107685]

>>107628
>I graduated college in 2012 and have held two different professional jobs. Neither of my employers have ever inquired about what sports I like to play or what I do on my free time.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

[Anonymous No.107713]

>tfw no real world experience
>tfw it took a year to land a fast food job

[Anonymous No.107734]

>>107628
I'm in finance. And I wouldn't want to glance at a resume that's listing 20+ entries per job, especially from someone as junior as you. Usually in America, the max length is 1 page, in Europe 2. Maybe it's different in retail banking, but my employers always wanted it short and to the point, while also listing all the different sections (objective, experience, education, skills, languages, interests).

[Anonymous No.108945]

>>94668
in the trash

[Anonymous No.108951]

>>107458
BoA means you workf or the commercial bank or Merril?

I a Credit analyst friends at Goldman and they make more than that.

[Anonymous No.108964]

>>107713
>computer experience
C'mon nigger, list specifically your "experience"
Ie: "installed and maintain software X to serve function Y as additional info Z"


- Build a custom Windows 8 appliance to playback 3-D visual softwares including BF4, SC2, and LoL
- Installed Gentoo to serve my autistic needs and shitpost on /g/

[Anonymous No.108987]

>>107713
Why are you going into detail about what dairy products you stocked? That is hilarious.

[Anonymous No.109026]

>>107713
>you live in Mars PA

[Anonymous No.109043]

>>90840

No, because you are not a chef and you don't live anywhere near my place of business.

[Anonymous No.109061]

>>90840
Did you know you said "study" 11 times? Three sentences have it twice. Be careful of that op, makes it a wall of text.

[Anonymous No.110295]

is moot accepting janitor resume?????

[Anonymous No.110314]

>>91371
Why?

[Anonymous No.110383]

>>107029
Not having GPA listed is a one-way ticket to the trash.

I did this before, and it was the first thing recruiters asked. I put it back on there once it was above a 3.0.

[Anonymous No.110427]

>>110383
GPA is only relevant for your first jobs. After you have some work experience, nobody cares. At least, that's how it is here in Europe because everyone knows grades depend on the school.

[Anonymous No.110602]

>Junior
>No jobs or experience
>All I have is school stuff

I listed out everything in the "Skills" part because of how the internship I'm applying for selects applicants. Also left off a list of random classes at the bottom

[Anonymous No.110644]

>>90840
>nothing between 2010 and 2012
>nothing between 2013 to present
>10+ lines describing your one job you had for like a year

fix gaps

your description of your one job you had for one year is TLDR status and makes you sound like an asshole

[Anonymous No.110728]

>in b4 edgy
just tell me it's bad and why it's bad.

[Anonymous No.110743]

>>96762
>2 jobs
>in less than 2 years

Thats even worse to me than someone with no exp. It says that 2 different places gave you a chance and you failed miserably both times.

[Anonymous No.110773]

>>110728
>possitions
Least you can do is run a spell check

[Anonymous No.110774]

>>110743
lel go away neet

[Anonymous No.110900]

>>110773
>>110728
spelling has been corrected, thank you. (word pad's spell check is even more useless than Google chrome's, that says something) but I don't feel sufficiently stupid yet.

[Anonymous No.112037]

>>91013
>All these plebs with 1 week school experience
Nigga before I even left highschool I had well over 300 hours of volunteer time. Upper-middle class white male with no disabilities, I got into the top university in my country by walking in the fucking door.
>Not volunteering every day

[Anonymous No.112046]

>>91013
No one cares about your grades, btw.

[Anonymous No.112097]

>>96762
>>96762
>graduated college
>lists his mediocre GPA and SAT score (SAT stops being relevant a year after highschool)

see >>112041

[Anonymous No.112116]

Skills should always be the first thing they see after your name.

[Anonymous No.112127]

>>96762
Looks like a generic college overachiever from a wealthy background.

>listing SAT (lel)
>listing coursework for finance positions
>no real work experience, just summer internships at investment banks
>rich-kid "volunteer" work in foreign countries
>student government

Wouldn't throw it in the trash but it looks generic and uninspiring.

[Anonymous No.112170]

final update before i submit this to moot's application

thanks all

[Anonymous No.112188]

>>112170
You know a lot of HR resume-parsing software strips the background colors, your resume will look like shit without those gray lines in there.

[Anonymous No.112206]

Why do you people list your courses out like morons? Nobody wants to see that.

[Anonymous No.112220]

>>110900
>wordpad
Why aren't you using Word or LibreOffice Writer?

[Anonymous No.112242]

>>112206
It's a US thing, I think. But I agree, haven't seen a single CV listing coursework in Germany.

[Anonymous No.112271]

pls no dox

[Anonymous No.112276]

>>112242
I live in the United States. Nobody tells you to list your grades and SAT scores and all this bullshit. I can understand major projects which are closer to actual work in the field but absolutely no employer gives a fuck that you took an Environmental Chemistry class.

[Anonymous No.112286]

>>112276
Sorry, I just assumed since the only resumes who did it I've seen on 4chan.

So where are the coursework listers coming from?

[Anonymous No.112295]

>>112271
>putting your GPA on a resume
>ever
Enjoy you're homeless.

[Anonymous No.112302]

>>112295
thanks

anyone else have better luck on linked in anyway? All I do is join accounting groups on linked in and then recruiters friend you and set stuff up

[Anonymous No.112306]

>>112286
Its college kids with little work experience trying to make their resume look less empty. Same goes for people who put irrelevant shit like SAT scores or college clubs.

[Anonymous No.112313]

>>112286
They're probably in the US and think that someone, anyone, is going to read that droll ass list of classes.
>>112271
Get rid of the secret clubs and the deans list, change APO to a volunteer field and list out what you actually did.
Overall, be more specific.

[Anonymous No.112310]

>>112286
If you have little work experience, course work is important especially for the first few internships to show you actually cover something related to the actual job

>>112295
not that guy but if you're doing anything related to finance, you better fucking put your gpa when you're starting out

[Anonymous No.112314]

>>112302
linkedin is useless

[Anonymous No.112315]

>>112188
thx for heads up, i cut and pasted it into notepad and it reads fine so far

[Anonymous No.112331]

My resume was complete shit coming out of college. I'm working for a huge company, doing something I enjoy, and doing quite well now. Interviewing well and being persistent is 95% of landing a job IMO. Good luck to you guys looking for jobs.

[Anonymous No.112341]

>>112302
>>112314
Joining LinkedIn is a good idea, it's how I got my current job. If nothing else it helps you remember people.

Recruiters do help a lot but you should find one who actively works with you. The number one mistake people make is not letting recruiters know you're still looking. Basically, if you're not checking in at least weekly, you've wasted them as a resource.

[Anonymous No.112345]

This just feels so empty compared to the others on here.

[Anonymous No.112351]

>>112331
Interview skill gets you the job but a decent resume is what gets you the interview.

[Anonymous No.112353]

>>112341
damn weekly seems excessive. Thats a good idea to keep the recruiters on tap. Does anyone here have good experience with recruiters?

Like how do they operate? If I'm friends with a recruiter from my previous company, how valuable would they be to help me find a job if I left there on good terms?

[Anonymous No.112357]

>>112271
>college clubs listed
>one semester of deans list
>vague as fuck job descriptions, verb phrases mixed in with noun phrases
>skills listed in random order with no organization
>google drive and google apps editor as a skill
>listing of software and 2 programming languages with no further information makes me think you're not actually proficient in any of them

C'mon anon.
cmon

[Anonymous No.112368]

I've never been in a position where I've needed to write a CV (I grew up a poorfag, but all the jobs I could get were shelf-stacking jobs which I couldn't do due to spergish clumsiness). I'm gonna get to writing mine soon, just to have it handy for the internships that are gonna spring up for me next year. What should I have in it?

i'm looking to go into IB, probably Global Corporate Banking or M&A

>Education (Undergrad+ degrees fo'sure, but what about A-levels and so on?)
>Work experience (or dancing around lack thereof)
>Skills (what're overused skills which you should avoid citing, what are companies looking for, etc)
>Activities/hobbies (and what to say if you're a genetically inferior whelp who's shit at competitive sports who can only cite "reading" as a respectable one)

general advice would be great, really

[Anonymous No.112374]

>>112345
That resume is so soft dude. You don't say shit like "formally taught graphic design", you say shit like "Proficient in .. oh god, never mind. I'm reading the rest, there is too much to correct. Seek help at your local university.

[Anonymous No.112379]

>>112351
I was offered a job interview after constantly keeping in contact with the hiring manager. After my 3rd email they asked me what my best time would be to meet face to face. I had a 2.73 GPA and literally no experience outside of my education.

[Anonymous No.112390]

>>112357
I'm horrible at detailing my descriptions. Should probably improve that

thanks for the motivation

[Anonymous No.112384]

>>112345
Biology-related research should be listed first in skills, and should be seperated out in different lines

Nobody cares about CPR certification or lifeguard stuff, take it out unless you really can't figure out how to fill that space

Education should be separate from activities and should be listed at the top if you're a current student

Get rid of that line for high school, nobody cares

Your job descriptions for the student research are bad

[Anonymous No.112397]

>>112379
Well, keeping in contact itself shows that you wanted the job rather than people who send off their resume and never check back. That was a smart play.

[Anonymous No.112399]

>>112379
what kind of job and what your degree, i kinda need some motivation myself

[Anonymous No.112412]

>>112399
is having a shit salary/no job not motivation enough?

[Anonymous No.112415]

>tfw i originally made my resume in Tex then exported to PDF
>increasing feels when nobody accepted a PDF resume
>even more when the document exported resume has a lot of spacing issues

[Anonymous No.112435]

>>112345
I'll be honest, that's shit and would go straight into the trash.

[Anonymous No.112433]

>>112415
leltex?

[Anonymous No.112439]

>>112353
The recruiters themselves have told me this. I work in software, and most of my jobs I've gotten through recruiters. Essentially you work for them, officially. They're paid by the company to go out and interview, etc and pay you. Usually you'll interview with the recruiter, they'll send resumes to the company's HR, and they'll stay in contact with HR and let you know if they want to interview you.

[Anonymous No.112449]

>>112433
unfortunately it wasn't lel at all

[Anonymous No.112451]

>>112399
I'm a consumer scientist. I got my BS in Food Science last May.

[Anonymous No.112478]

>>112451
how did you get in contact with the hiring manager in the first place?

[Anonymous No.112474]

hows everyone's linked in pic. Minds kinda bleh, need to improve it

[Anonymous No.112497]

lel at the banner

[Anonymous No.112518]

>>112374
>>112384
>>112435
Thanks

I listed the high school because it's fairly prestigious. (Top 10 in nation) Should I still omit it?

How could I better describe my student research? Should I separate the different periods into different jobs?

[Anonymous No.112527]

What kind of resume do I need to write if I'm going for a fast food job?

I went to college for two years before withdrawing, and the only real claim I have is that I've done freelance art so I've handled dealing with real people and real money and delivered what I promised I would on time. I'm going to see if handing them a resume works this time because I feel like I'm close to getting a job in one of these fucking joints that are within walking distances, but they always hire minorities. That's not to be a dick, but seriously, the Arby's, the McDonald's, Steak 'n' Shake, Little Caesar's, Dairy Queen, and Imo's Pizza, all filled with non-whites. I saw just two white workers at Subway.

I've told all these guys over and over again, with confidence and dressing well, that I'm willing to work nights, weekends, and holidays, I'm within walking distance, and can be an easy person to take on for a shift if someone calls in sick. I tried to sell myself in a way that reminded them of the benefits they'd be getting, and not in a way that made me sound desperate because I lived extremely close to where they operated and it would be convenient. And yet, after the interviews, no calls, no e-mails, no nothing.

I've also read their mission statements and their websites, which is like no big deal at all, but I'm trying to give them every clue I can that I care and that I'm willing to work. I get this run around every two months.

I need help.

[Anonymous No.112535]

>>112518
>Should I still omit it?
Yes.

>Should I separate the different periods into different jobs?
Yes. Don't include dates in the job description. Also there needs to be more parallel structure, try starting each description line with a verb.

Also paid/unpaid doesn't mean anything, take it out.

[Anonymous No.112550]

>>112478
Her name was listed on linkedin when I was applying, if I remember right.

[Anonymous No.112576]

>>112527
I worked for a fast-food chain for a while doing HR work for the franchisees. The biggest issue for fast-food restaurants is the amount of employee turnover. The college education you have is a red flag and suggests that you're going to move on as soon as you can. Past experience suggesting that you've worked other low-skilled jobs for long periods of time is a bug plus.

[Anonymous No.112570]

fuck all this resume shit, im my own boss

i run my own food truck making $94k pre taxed last year
im looking to expand into a stand alone so that we can serve alcohol and what not

i got 8000 likes on my fb fanpage in the past 2 years since i started lel

[Anonymous No.112574]

>including your address

Do you think they're going to fucking snail mail you a response? Your address has no place on a resume in 2014.

[Anonymous No.112600]

>>112574
Sometime I look up applicants' address to determine their income and home value. Especially useful for recruiting kids straight out of college.

[Anonymous No.112601]

>>112570
That is fantastic, I'm genuinely proud of your entrepreneurial spirit.

[Anonymous No.112625]

>>112600

Yeah, so you can figure out who you can negotiate down during salary discussion. No thanks.

[Anonymous No.112639]

>>112574
I always figured it was just a formality, like dressing to impress and going up to the employer in person when we have the technology to email our resume and cover letter, and then do an online chat session for the job interview, all in our underpants.

maybe if you are closer to work, that shows them you are more reliable, and less likely to get fucked over by traffic disasters.

[Anonymous No.112651]

>>112639
I honestly wish they would do this more often. The only video interview I've ever had was with a fucking HR company for some shitty ass retail job.

[Anonymous No.112661]

>>112639


Yeah there could be some value in letting them know you live neaby. In that case I would just say "Blank City Resident".

[Anonymous No.112663]

>>112576

Okay, so no higher education listed on the resume, got it. I could have sworn fast food stuff was like entry level, though. I should also ask this.

I'm 21, closer to 22 now, and I've never had a job before. It's because I was nearly 20 when I got out of college and I've been job searching since. Is my age a red flag as well? Also we can rule out me asking for more than the minimum wage, because I've never requested a penny more than that on my applications.

[Anonymous No.112673]

>>112220
because Word wants money and I didn't know LibreOffice was a thing until just now (thanks bro)

[Anonymous No.112681]

>>112625
Nah, rich kids are significantly more likely to leave and cause turnover issues. Coming from a poorer zip code is a benefit.

[Anonymous No.112729]

>>112663
Your age by itself is meaningless. But the fact that you haven't held a job before is huge and is probably the main reason why nobody's hiring you.

Fast food jobs are actually surprisingly competitive, probably because everyone knows the jobs are available so there are always people applying. Have you considered government jobs like library assistant, bus driver, etc.? They are usually easier to get because the positions are never advertised. Alternatively you could look for manual labor jobs like construction or maintenance, where experience doesn't matter as much as health.

[Anonymous No.112759]

How would you succesfully integrate a yearlong high school exchange year into your resume?
It actually is relevant for my field (international relations)

[Anonymous No.112780]

>>112759
Seperate line in your education section, under college. Don't include your high school name or anything, just the name of the travel program.

[Anonymous No.112797]

>>112729

Shit, I'd LOVE manual labor for a job, I have no issue picking shit up and moving it around or doing whatever else I'd need to do with it. I really should look again and see if anything's close.

[Anonymous No.112865]

>>91013
LMFAO
IM 18 TUTORING FOR LITTLE GRADE 3'S AND I HAVE A BETTER RESUME THAN YOU WTF

but srsly wtf is up with the grades

[Anonymous No.112881]

>>91123
>non engineer work
what?

[Anonymous No.112893]

>>112865
>18
Pls go, this is a business board for the grown-ups to talk.

[Anonymous No.112991]

>>91013
>putting your grades on your resume
If they want your grades, they'll ask for a copy of your transcript. Besides, with what you have, I'd order it like so:

>Education
Only really put classes that actually matter to the job you're applying for. Assuming you're going for something in IT, I don't think they'll care that you took fucking art and design (much less that you got a D in it)

>Work Experience
What you have is weak. Not that it's not enough or long enough, but you should say what you did or what you got out of it. Not just "I got experience in it." Of course you got experience in it, but WHAT experience did you get from it?

>Personal Skills
I dunno, fucking whatever. Some of it should be shown in your work experience section.

>Intrests
No. Just no.

Add some references at the bottom, too. References that would actually help you in the field you're looking to work in. Between two and three I'd say is good. Professors (again, in your field) are a good one.

[Anonymous No.113007]

>>100560

Yup, people still don't give a shit.

[Anonymous No.113027]

>>101014
>Cumberbatch

You're hired.

[Pacem No.113077]

I did a lot of things in high school and I have great ability in arguing and political knowledge.

I was a captain of my schools debate team in high school too.

Is there any way to write that in? I have decent electronical skill, and I'm great in arguing or explaining things verbally. or making and giving speeches, for that matter. I don't know how to formulate that or whether it put it though.

[Anonymous No.113106]

>>113077
Don't put that in your resume. "Arguing and political knowledge" is a negative work trait in the real world.

[Anonymous No.113153]

only 5 more hours until moot accept these resumes


good luck for those who are applying for the janitor position

[Anonymous No.113179]

>>113153
Resumes are required on top of the Skype interview for an unpaid 4chan position being a dog to the mods? Why?

[Anonymous No.113187]

>>113179
>find a job doing something you love
being a neet and 4chan...even if it's unpaid

[Anonymous No.113200]

>>108964
>>108987
This is a resume that was put together in high school, and while I was originally adding shit like that, the instructor "suggested" otherwise; That's what led to what you see before you.

>>109026
Not far off.

[Anonymous No.113210]

>>113187
Not only is it unpaid, by you can't even include it on a resume. Moot exploiting NEETs for free labor.

[Anonymous No.113598]

how come so many of you guys do have a bachelor degree; in my country master is a standart :o

[Anonymous No.113635]

bullet points how pleb.

descriptions of what you did on each job are generic and non descriptive. give us results/accomplishments/statistics on what your actions did.

entrepreneur here id never hire you unless you had real people skills or a good work ethic

[Anonymous No.114755]

What's the best way to include a link to ones online portfolio on their resume?

[Anonymous No.115543]

>>114755
at the top near your name

[Mii2gp78JanTPCaZZSSzdJio7UCPQh(...) No.118677]

>>91013
God, I would call you just to tell you how faggot you are

[Anonymous No.118859]

>>110314
because its vague as fuck and if you were proficient at those skills you would have a portfolio showing off your code.

also
>javascript
javascript has a shitton of libraries that do a variety of things Node.js, Backbone.js, Three.js are all separate functions that handle different stuff, also if you don't have any mysql or apache then you are pretty much saying you have zero backend experience.

[Anonymous No.119035]

>>113153
damn

[Anonymous No.119064]

a link to my resume
http://spiffomatic64.com/resume.jpg

[Anonymous No.119074]

a link to my unusually large resume
http://spiffomatic64.com/resume.jpg

[Anonymous No.119104]

>>118859
What about php?

[Anonymous No.119106]

>>107029
Yeah this is true... It really sucks because I'm a good fit for intelligence and aced their tests but they hated how many speeding tickets I had (lol).

I was only doing it out of a sense of honour for my country... I'd already been offered a higher paying job elsewhere, but I guess they just don't trust criminal scum that speed.

[Anonymous No.119125]

How do you prepare for a job interview, /biz/?

[Anonymous No.119157]

>>119125
before going to the job interview, make sure you do not poop. Save your poop, you'll need it for the interview if it does not go well. In the event that it does not go well, make everything go well by taking a dump on the conference table in front of the interviewer. This lets them know that you are not a dog, but a human being, and if they think you are nothing but a dog, you will show them by taking a dump where you please. At this point in time, the interviewer is wondering what to do... call the police? scream and yell? hurry out of the conference room? But you've got the balls to step onto the conference table and take a dump in front of the interviewer on the table, so you're in control. Do not let them pass by you to get to the door. Aim your butthole at the interviewer if they attempt to make their way to the door. If they try screaming, aim your butt hole for their mouth, they will immediately shut up. Look at them in the eyes, grab your dick, and aim it at their face, in case they decide to start talking shit. Tell them: I want the fucking job you stupid fucker, give me the job or I'll make your day shitty. You will get the job.

[Anonymous No.119187]

>>119157

well... this works too

[Anonymous No.119292]

>>91429
Any Hiring manager at a serious company would put this shit in the trash immediately. Use a classic and professional looking format.

[Anonymous No.119310]

>>96794
Get it on to one page. Never have your resume go beyond 1 page.

[Anonymous No.119678]

>>96794
m8, "highschool" should be two words, "high school". pls fix, tks

[Anonymous No.119705]

>>96794
don't use "&" on your resume, it makes you look lazy. Write the word "and" out

[Anonymous No.119991]

>>119125
First, know the company you are applying for. Read their website, know what they stand for. Then you can throw things like "I see you say xxx is very important to your company, can you elaborate? Because I'm interested in yyy and that's closely related."

Second tip is, first apply for the jobs you don't want. Try to score interviews. Use those interviews as practice. After a few interviews, you will be better prepared and practiced. Then, apply for the companies you actually want to work for.

[Anonymous No.121867]

If I have absolutely no relevant work experience and I'm studying Computer Science how do I get an edge over others in getting a part time tech job? I'm sick of working my ass off in a supermarket where the management openly resents everyone who isn't doomed to work there for the rest of their lives.

Overly exaggerating the worth of my coursework and projects is all I can think of

[Anonymous No.121880]

>>121867
Make a useful program, upload it and let others download. Congrats you have something in your portfolio.