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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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8365045 No.8365045 [Reply] [Original]

i lied to my interviewer today that i had made multiple ai related projects and would put them on my github page some time next week
he seemed very impressed and im set up to meet with hr tomorrow about salary and starting date
what do i do i have taken two online courses in programming and dropped out of both
i've never worked a day in my life either
help

>> No.8365079

adderall.
you've got a week to get something going, costanza. let's go!

>> No.8365082

>>8365045
I dunno fork an existing project and modify it a bit

>> No.8365085

>>8365045
might as well just bullshit as much as you can at this point and try to collect as many paychecks are you can before you are canned. Maybe you can outsource some work to pajeets to help out

>> No.8365100

>>8365045
Call them, apologize and don't take the job.

>> No.8365107

>>8365045
lol, if you're already going to HR, you've got the job, right?

Just take it and coast until they fire you

>> No.8365135

>>8365045
Modafinil. Say you have work sleep shift disorder.

>> No.8365144
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8365144

>>8365100
i need an income that doesnt entail kneepads
>>8365082
i dont understand any code apart from the bare basic c stuff

>> No.8365152
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8365152

>>8365045
You dun goof'd

>> No.8365159

Act busy
Open up random files when supervisor near
Either home or when he's away literally Google how to do things
Copy paste shit
Hang out on /biz/

>> No.8365189
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8365189

>>8365045
bluff it now you have been passed to hr if asked in the future just say you forgot with the passage of time. Is the interviewer your direct boss? will you be in close supervision of him/her? if not fogettaboutit

>> No.8365210

Lucky fucker, just fake it until they fire you or until you know ai

>> No.8365245

>>8365045
AI ~RELATED~ right? Sounds broad in scope. Anyway it doesn't have to work. Tay was an AI and look what a disaster that was for Microsoft. Though a jolly good kek. Just come up with some algorithm to rank data based on how frequently a given value appears, combined with a random number, and call it process learning. It doesn't have to have any real world application! Just imagine you're a crypto and this is your ICO. Make they buy into you, then dump it.

>> No.8365251

>>8365082
This. Fork this:
https://github.com/JohnLangford/vowpal_wabbit

>>8365144
>i dont understand any code apart from the bare basic c stuff
Don't need to. Only need to understand how github works.

>> No.8365262
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8365262

>>8365189
i had three interviews in total, i have no idea how or even if i passed them all
the first one is the department manager i think he said
>>8365210
thanks the position isnt about ai though its some kind of platform or framework to port code from dynamically typed to statically typed
>>8365251
thanks

>> No.8365303
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8365303

>> No.8365312

>>8365262
hahhaahhahhaahahh ur FUCKED

try and learn a normie coding language like python, if you can't learn python then why the fuck are you going into a coding job.

>> No.8365353

>>8365262
Wait a second, thats the image I edited lol

>> No.8365462

just copy a couple IBM watson api tutorials and put them on your github

>> No.8365706

This is such an awesome story
I want to know how it ends. Please report back when u know more

OP why did u apply for a job that you have no knowledge of?
Do u have a degree in this field or what?

>> No.8365720

are you really an anime character?

>> No.8365727

>>8365045
Is that really you?

>> No.8365789
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8365789

>>8365720
/biz/, asking the important questions

>> No.8365790
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8365790

>>8365706
it pays well and 20 years ago when i was a kid i wanted to be a cool computer guy
>>8365720
>>8365727
i wish

>> No.8365850

what's wrong with you just start with entry level job

>> No.8365919

>>8365790
this has to be a creative larp?
either way gg

>> No.8365953

>>8365790
Wanna cuddle and fuck while watching anime?

>> No.8366049

>>8365919
salary: very competitive
thats what the ad said, its in one of the bigger companies around where i live (trucks and i think also machinery)
i'll probably post some proof in my next thread if i get hired

>> No.8366080
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8366080

>>8365790
Those tits are way too low what the fug

>> No.8366108

kek I've been in a similar situation as you anon and it won't end well unless you really start immersing yourself in your job. start learning ai m8

>> No.8366157

i want an anime gf so bad

>> No.8366189
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8366189

>>8366157
You don't choose a waifu, the waifu chooses you.

>> No.8366207

>local brainlet gets hired with no knowledge and gets fired the next day

i like the way u think anon

>> No.8366217

>>8365085
This

>> No.8366251

>>8366157
This

>> No.8366259

>>8365262
>thanks the position isnt about ai though its some kind of platform or framework to port code from dynamically typed to statically typed
Are you doing the porting or is the framework the one doing it?
Anyone your faked AI projects don't mean much besides being impressive. Want some "AI projects" you can do in a week?
Learn NodeJS, use https://www.npmjs.com/package/synaptic
make it draw some pieces of shit on a webpage, or fuck that entirely and just write stuff in a console window. Who cares. Swipe btc/usd candle data from somewhere and see if you can predict prices (spoilers you can't but who said your projects have to succeed?)
NodeJS shit is easy, and I guess you know how to code in general so it should be a piece of cake to you.

I'm a garbage NEET ex-codemonkey who tried the example I expressed above out of curiosity. You can make a 2nd project by trying to correlate twitters data (getting into their API is as easy as registering to twitter). I haven't actually tried this yet even though I've got months worth of tweets and exchange data stored somewhere... I'll lurk for around 30 minutes if you've got questions or something.

>> No.8366419

>>8365045
You got this anon.
I did the same thing 3 years ago, and after a lot of bullshitting and self study now I'm managing a team of software developers.
Hustle harder.

>> No.8366447

>>8365045
do a quick CNN (convoluted neural network) OCR project, just make it read numbers

that's good enough

>> No.8366469

>>8365100
Retard alert

OP, myself and friends have faked our way into many jobs. Zero issues.

Worst case scenario you'll need to read a bit, or Google a bit to figure some stuff out while you are not working.

What you did is literally how most people get jobs.