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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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824760 No.824760 [Reply] [Original]

Hey biz
How do i get 25% return in a week?
I have a thousand dollars
Legal or illegal i dont care at this point.

>> No.824764

Buy as much cocaine as you can, cook it into crack and sell it to junkies.

>> No.824766

Poker, betting or lend it to some stupid fuck that will accept such interest rate.

>> No.824771

>>824766
Is anyone here good at poker
Like an ace at it?
Ill lend you the fucking money

>> No.824776

>>824771
People that are good at poker wouldn't need to be lent money.

That must mean that they just lost all their money and will soon lose yours if they're looking for a lender.

>> No.824779

>>824776
lots of professional poker players sell action.

>> No.824784

>>824779
That makes no sense.

Why would they split their profits if they can get 100% of the profit?

>> No.824789

I could lie to the credit card company about my income so they raise my credit limit.
Should i go for it?

>> No.824795

Hey, I am great at online poker. I also am signed up with an online poker service that will discretely send me the winnings. I can get you a 18%-29% return on your money in a week, as long as we're talking $500-10,000. email me at my throwaway: wb430@yahoo.com

I have to do some tech work until noon but I'll get in touch with you then.

>> No.824798

>>824795
loooooooooooooooooooooool

>> No.824800

>>824784
it reduces variety. it makes sense for tournaments with a high buy-in and reduces their own financial risk / costs in case they bust before theyre in the money. usually, the players selll pieces at a premium (with mark-up).

>> No.824834

I will give 250 if you have a good reason

>> No.824835

>>824834
I need to pay my rent

>> No.824839

>>824835
How much is your rent?

>> No.824841

>>824839
$150 a week

>> No.824845

>>824841
Whaaaaaaaat

>> No.824848

>>824845
What?

>> No.824850

>>824845

It's government subsidized housing

>> No.824852

>>824760

i can get 25% return on your 1000 in like 10 minutes on roulette.

i have developed a strategy that has yet to fail me.

>> No.824855

>>824850
No its a housing unit with 4 bedrooms.
I pay for one of the bedrooms.

>> No.824857

>>824852
Its not martingale on primedice is it?

>> No.824860

>>824857
It's still not impossible to get 25% on martingale. If OP's so desperate..

>> No.824861

>>824860
I tried it and lost 13 times in a row

>> No.824863

>>824861
Do you work?

>> No.824871

>Take out life insurance policy
>Kill yourself

>> No.824878

>>824760
Find a stock that does this:

https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=NASDAQ:EXEL&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAGOovnz8BQMDAx-HgBKXfq6-gXlVdll5IZtp7zznzsg_-rmrA5vOH5oasi7HBQDebkV9KwAAAA

Stocks I've seen do this several times per year are:
EXEL
SCOK
BCRX
TPLM
PLUG

specifically look for biotech companies that are about to release trial results for promising treatments. For example, BCRX was researching a cure for ebola.

Also, if you didn't see that link, the stock just shot up 46% since open as of posting it.

>> No.824879

>>824878
>specifically look for biotech companies that are about to release trial results for promising treatments

Yes OP, do this.

Especially if you get an email or a phone call telling you about a stock that just rised a huge amount and is expected to rise exponentially very soon.

>> No.824883

>>824848
Whut??!!!

>> No.824885

>>824879
All of the stocks I posted are not pink slips; they're openly traded on the NASDAQ, and I literally have no positions in any but the TPLM stock.

I stand by what I said. Do your research, find a small-mid cap bio-pharma stock with drugs undergoing clinical trials that will have the results released soon. It's risky, but it's about as risky as blackjack/poker/roulette.

If you go the gambling route, then for fuck's sake, don't do it at an online casino.

>> No.824887

>>824857

i use a modification of martingale. i have never experienced being unable to meet my target, so far- although I accept that possibility. I think the risk is about 0.24 %, on a 1000 stake.

>> No.824890

Really, the only low-risk investment from a financial standpoint would be illegal drugs. Your realized returns would be 50-300% depending on your drug chosen, and the volume you'd get with $1000 would easily be movable in a week.

But then you open a whole other can of worms as far as risk goes.

>> No.824892

WEX looks like it might do something it has high volume but hastn shot up up yet Its volume is +69.9% yet its only risen +1.51%

>> No.824896

>>824887
>i use a modification of martingale. i have never experienced being unable to meet my target, so far- although I accept that possibility.
>I think

Have you used computer simulation to test your ground-breaking betting system?
Do you have a PHD in mathematics?

Because this is something that people far more intelligent than you have been trying to come up with for years...

>> No.824903

>>824896

I know that. I researched the probabilities, and the phd guys seemed in approximate agreement.

>> No.824907

>>824903
If your betting system works so well why THE FUCK are you on /biz/ right now, and trying to get more money off this poor sap?

Get your ass in a real life casino and come out with over $100,000.

>> No.824929

im going to deliver.

tell me what time frame you have, and be honest.

>> No.824952

>>824887
Ok my email is anondump@protonmail.ch
Btw what will we use for escrow?

>> No.825068

>>824879
>>824885
Your posts made me want to wish a /biz/ version of Hotline Miami.

>> No.825108

>>824760
Stock options. It's earnings season. I made %400 in the last two weeks from netflixes earnings

>> No.825231

>>825108
So i should invest in netflix?

>> No.825232

>>825231
Options are a bit more complicated than just buying shares. Look up some info on it.

It's WAY more risky and speculative, and just a step below trading in futures.

Dude, if you're poor enough to be living in government housing, $1000 is a literal fortune. Just save that shit, and go work on bettering your position in life, rather than risking it all in some shitty "risk a grand to potentially make a couple hundred in returns" scheme.

>> No.825240

>>824871
you would have to have a suicide clause and wait two years for that to cash out.

>> No.825242

>>825232
lets say Netflix went up 10 dollars how much I would make on one contract of 100?

>> No.825243

I got it
What if i do martingale+binary options?

>> No.825278

>>825243
Don't gamble your money away. Do you have a job?

>> No.825291

The higher your returns the more risk you will be taking. At the astronomical rate of 25% / week, the risk you'll take is equally astronomical, so expect to lose your money if you find something that fits the bill