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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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8247 No.8247[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

How do i turn 1 dollar into 5,000,000 dollars?

>> No.8291

>>8247
Suck on my fat hairy schlong

>> No.8318
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8318

>> No.8364

>>8247
hard honest work

>> No.8374

>>8247
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BE8b02EdZvw

>> No.8431

saltpeter investment

>> No.8455

>>8247
Helium, you buy a balloon, and it slowly grows into pure gold!
The end times are coming with helium as its being siphoned into alien terf. We have to keep out materials for the human race. WHOS WITH ME!?

>> No.8459

Invest in Helium. Buy a balloon for 1 dollar, keep it in a safe box and when the helium supply runs out, you'll be rich.

>> No.8607

>>8247
>steal a time machine
>go back to 2009
>buy bitcoins
Be careful to not be caught by the time police.

>> No.8630

>>8374
that was amazing

>> No.8626
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8626

>>8364
>hard, honest work

>> No.8627

suck 5 million dicks for $1 each

>> No.8658

>get degree is accounting and maths
>become top banker
>gamble everyones money

>> No.8659

>>8247
cut it into a bunch of tiny pieces until you have 5,000,000 pieces

>> No.8731

30 minute get rich quick scheme:

>go to casino and play roulette
>bet all your money and win
>repeat about 23 times in a row without losing

>> No.8829

>>8374
This is a perfect example the the realities of Austrian economics a the subjective theory of value.

Capta - astvemo similar

>> No.8905

>>8247
Put the money into a saving account with current interest rate of 0.8%.

Wait for a million years. Then you will have at least $5 million in your account.

It is that easy.

>> No.8946

>>8905
0.8%? Dude I would love 0.8% on my account. When I got my very first bank account at a credit union when I was 7 (~$300, money which I wasn't allowed to use) I had 2.0% annually. Now I'm an adult with a job and an account at a nationwide bank with a bit of savings set aside (a few thousand) and my interest rate is 0.01%.

>> No.8951

>>8247
The same way as you would turn 1 dollar into 10 dollars.

>> No.8968

>>8318
I LOLED. Made my day.

>> No.9003

>>8247
>How do i turn 1 dollar into 5,000,000 dollars?
Drugs.

You can buy 1 dollar worth of weed, sell it to kids for 5 dollars, get that 5 dollars and buy a pack of codeine, CWE it and sell it to junkie kids for 20 dollars, buy two grams of weed and sell it to the first lot of kids for 40 dollars, buy 40 dollars worth of coke and sell it to the junkie kids for 100 dollars.

There is literally no other way to make anything with 1 dollar of capital...

>> No.8999

>>8905
my apologies.
It would only take you 1,929 years to turn your $1 into $5 millions at interest rate of 0.8%.

http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=continuous+interest+PV%3D%241%2C+rate%3D0.8%25%2C+periods%3D1929

>> No.9028

>>8946
online bank.
Check out Ally.com

>> No.9036

>>9028
Checking it out, thanks for the link anon

>> No.9058

>>9036
unfortunately, the interest rate will continue to be shit until the economy got better.

>> No.9070

>>9003
this is 100% true.

>> No.9097

>>9089
You can make 1 cent a year!

>> No.9084

go on the hidden wiki and buy counterfeit money

>> No.9089
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9089

>>9036
1.60% sure is better than 0.01%! There's so much money I'm sitting on and won't be using for a long while, so maybe I need to get in on this.

>> No.9101

>>9003
This is false. If OP could wait 1,929 years he would have $5 million dollar.

>> No.9125

>>9097
I literally had one cent of interest last year. I think I was supposed to get like 1.89 cents according to the math, but my bank rounded down, of course.

>> No.9155

install gentoo

>> No.9157
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9157

>>9125
>but my bank rounded down, of course.
Of course.

>mfw my bank included a flat rate "brokerage fees" as part of my share per unit price
Banks do some pretty lulzy things to make, no joke, maybe 10 dollars extra a year.

>> No.9162

>>8946

online banks are the only savings accounts worth having these days. you can get close to 1%.

>> No.9246

>>9155
fuck off /g/

>> No.9274

>>9157
>Banks do some pretty lulzy things to make, no joke, maybe 10 dollars extra a year.
Banks today are some of the very greediest entities I have ever seen. I had a random $2 fee twice last year. I don't remember what it was titled but it was something really, really generic and it appeared on my physical paper bank statements I got in the mail. I went into the bank and asked what that was about and the tellers said they didn't know (I believe them honestly). Next bank statement, I got my $4 back and a $10 complimentary gift straight to my account.
So yeah. What the fuck.

>> No.9302

>>9274
It's an "are you actually there?" fee...

>> No.9308

You dont even need 1$.

Grab something useless you don't even need.
Trade your way up with people and companies.
Paperclip -> Pencil -> stapler -> watch -> [...]
-> house -> [...] -> yacht.

>> No.9342

>>9308

nvm.
Havent seen >>8374

>> No.9381

>>8905
but thats less that inflation so you'll be losing money every year

>> No.9417
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9417

>>9302
>the bank's face when
I wonder if patron-san will notice me today...

>> No.9420

>>9308
have you done this if so where to start

>> No.9425

>>9381
yup. The present value would be a lot less impressive, but OP didn't say he cares about purchasing power of his dollar.

>> No.9427

>>8374
So tedious...

The amount of effort and resources he expended very likely account to much more than one red paper clip. He's a fucking shyster talking himself up for some free (albeit innovative) marketing.

>> No.9440
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9440

>>9425

>> No.9456

Invest and save

>> No.9506

/r/ing the "start with ~32M, make 3 employees millionaires, etc. off interest

>> No.10079

Buy 1 american dollars worth of zimbabwian dollars.

>> No.10112

>>8247
buy a sharp pencil and stab a rich person in the eye with it and steal their money rinse repeat

>> No.10122
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10122

>> No.10136

>>10112
But what banking dynasty family could carry 5 million in pocket change?

>> No.10158

>>10122

Become a McDonalds franchisee?

>> No.10229

>>10136
Who WOULDN'T?

>> No.10290
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10290

>>10079
Ok now what?

>> No.10674

>>8374
>Paying his taxes, he'll have to organize his papers.
>They keep flying everywhere, and he has nothing to bind it all.

WHAT NOW KYLE, WHAT NOW?

>> No.10731

bet $1 on 1:5,000,000 and win

>> No.11096

>>8455
Wait. Why ISN'T helium considered a solid investment? It's becoming extremely expensive as scientists use it up. Why aren't people buying up tanks of it and storing it?

>> No.11128

>>8374
>Didn't say he doesn't deal in virginity
Confirmed for pussy slayer.

>> No.11171

>>11096
I asked /biz/ and a bunch of tripfags destroyed me.

>> No.11279

Your best bet would probably be trying to barter with it. People WILL barter for shit they want. Not like that dumb oneredpaperclip shit where people traded with him just for the exposure.

Starting with $1 though, that's gonna be pretty hard. Usually $50 is where I start if I do a week of bartering on craigslist. Someone's usually selling some shitty garden gnome or something of the like that they think is worthless, and then you can turn and sell to a collector for double that.

It's more like flipping than bartering I guess, but you can trade material goods into material goods rather than cash.

>> No.11549

>>11279
Something like this, OP.
I flip things on Craigslist, but rather than start with a dollar, I troll the free section and snag things from there.

You just need to be very adamant about it, because the good things come and go quickly. I've had my best luck flipping fishtanks.

>> No.11576

>>11549
Yeah fishtanks and CRT TVs. People give them out just to free up space.

>> No.11594

>>8247
There must be at least ONE person stupid enough to trade you.

>> No.11878

>>9420
being this 12&1/2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BE8b02EdZvw

>> No.11887
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11887

>>8247
move to India

>> No.11975
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11975

>>10136
>But what banking dynasty family could carry 5 million in pocket change?
This one?
(you'd also be doing society a favout)

>> No.12022

>>11975
>this is what gangsters actually used to look like

captcha: $33000 rmavers

>> No.12063

>>12022
Not many people know that Telly Savalas started his career on the wrong side of the law!

>> No.12110

>>10290
You now have 50 trillion dollars.

>> No.12122

>>10731
>and win
>implying

>> No.12135

>>10731
>and win
sounds easy enough

>> No.12146

>>11975
fedoras, trilbies, and fancy hats everywhere! looks like my kind of gang ;)

>> No.12153

>>12146
*tips euphoria*

>> No.12164

>>8829
Can I get a TLDR on austrian economics?

>> No.12600

Buy a packet of corn seeds and apply for a gubmint subsidy.

>> No.15688

>>8374
Stossel is pretty cool dude.

>> No.15763

>>10290
is that lipstick?
ru a grill?

>> No.15797

Go to a South American/Asian country and show dollar to women.
Bring them to the West and prostitute them out.

>> No.15819

>>12164
It's an inherently wrong system, as has been borne out by facts again and again, yet somehow manages to retain a strong cult following, much like the gold standard, cryptocurrencies, and libertarianism.

>> No.17396

>>10290
>Buying a white phone

>> No.17758

>>11096
Honestly is Helium even rare? I remember reading that it's literally everywhere but we aren't bothering to actually mine or whatever.

Aside from that, helium is a byproduct of nuclear anything isn't it?

>> No.18633

>>11096
What would scientists even use it for?

>>17758
It's pretty rare, that's the reason most zeppelins ran on Hydrogen and we saw how well that worked out.

>> No.18682

>>8247

invest it into a savings account, wait 680 years

>> No.18705

>>18633
it's used in the production of most electronics, and because it's so light, once it is used up it floats off into the atmosphere and gets pushed out through solar winds.

>> No.18720

>>11096
You mean buying actual helium? because it costs about 100 times as much money to store it than it would to get any profit off of holding onto it for however long you want to invest in it.

>> No.18729

>>8247
buy a hard asset with $1.
Wait for hyper inflation.
Sell it again for $5,000,000

>> No.18747

>>17758
It is a naturally uncommon substance, but like you said it it a byproduct of a number of nuclear reactions. This is why the USA has such a stockpile of it, because we were the only country with a reactor producing a helium byproduct.

The reason people post about it an obscene amount is because cracked had an article a while back about how we're "running out of helium" and the "US gov't is determined to sell well below market price to deplete its helium stores" of course the article was all bullshit. It made it seem like we would soon be living in a post-helium world, but there's no legitimate threat of that. The reactor has been inactive a long time, because after the cold war ended Nuclear fission experiments became less relevant, but if we do ever have a helium shortage we have plenty of avenues to produce it.

>> No.18748

>>18705
>it's used in the production of most electronics
I noticed that it can be used for welding and lamps, but Helium Lamps seem rather shit.
What other stuff uses helium?

>> No.18766

>>18705
Then, how is helium collected in the first place?

>> No.18775

>>18766
You find a well and put a plastic bag on top of it.

>> No.18829

god this thread is like that stupid econ stanford assignment. The way to turn 1 dollar into 5,000,000 dollars is to ignore the 1 dollar. Stand in lines at popular places and sell your spot for $100, do that for a week and you'll have ~$1,000, turn that into some nice clothes, apply for jobs if your qualified start conning if you're not, move into bigger and bigger jobs/cons depending

>> No.18842

>>18829
might as well just say "get a high paying job" or "win the lotto"

>> No.18853

>>18842
those are probably the best routes to 5,000,000 dollars yes.

Sorry, did you think it would be easy to gain 5,000,000 dollars?

>> No.18913

>>18853
yeah, but it's more answering the question
"how do I make $5,000,000" rather than "how do I turn $1 into $5,000,000". Or at best it's answering the later in a real smartass way.

>> No.18938

>>18913
ok, to address the latter:
you can't

The capital is meaningless,

>> No.19007

>>18938
uh, there's a million ways you could address the latter. one is buy something for $1 and trade it for something worth more than $1, then keep doing that until you have something worth $5,000,000 and cash out. Yes, there's obvious loads of labour and skills involved but it answers the question in a way that "get a job and throw dollar in the bin" doesn't.

>> No.19053

>>8247
Kidnap one of the Koch brothers.

Ask for $5,000,000 ransom.

Get ransom.

Kill him anyways.

>> No.19073

>>15819
That seems to be the only answer people give when that question is asked

>> No.19091
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19091

>>8247
convert it into 100 pennies, melt them down into a shank and kill someone for the mob

>> No.19126

>>15819
>as has been borne out by facts again and again
any examples of this?

>> No.19171

>>19073
>>19126
>>15819
stop

>> No.19190

>>19171
stop what?

>> No.19231

>>10674
>2014
>not using turbotax 2013

>> No.19265

>invest $1 in goatmeal
>wait 1 year max*
>collect $5,000,000

*actual wait may be longer

>> No.19311

Buy something for $1 and sell it for $1.50, then sell that for $2 and so on, trading up until you reach $5,000,000

>> No.19382

>>8374
Damn, this was cool.
Tedious, PR stunt, whatever it was, I enjoyed it.

>> No.19439

>>8627
or 5 hundred-thousand dicks for ten dollars each.

>> No.19457

>>8247
Thirty or so wins on a roullete should do it.

>> No.19610

>>19439
Or 500 dicks for $10,000 each!

You better be worth the money.

>> No.19623

>>9089
¿how much money? you can get more if you search.

>> No.19751

Buy something with it

Then start trading that thing

>> No.19990

>>18766
It's created in the production of natural gas, and because there is an especially large amount produced in the natural gas from the Texas panhandle, the US is a top producer (75 percent of the world's supply). It's really fucking stupid that it's running out too. It started in the privatization craze in the 1990's where basically they decided to replace the government's helium reserves (which have been around for decades) with private corporations by 2014. However, private companies aren't interested, causing a man-made shortage. Traditionally, the US government has supplied roughly 33 percent of the world's helium. Now, if you take away that large a chunk of anything, prices are going to shoot up.

>> No.20217

>>8905
Is that with current and future inflation rates in mind?

>> No.20299

>>8247

Start betting on sports and play skill-based games for money like poker. Be conservative, never bet more than you can afford to lose. It's like the 70/20/10 rule. If you have 100 bucks, don't bet anymore than 10 bucks at a time.

In the two weeks before the Winter Olympics began, I made $70 betting on hockey games. Doesn't pay the rent... yet. But I'll get there.

>> No.20472
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20472

Simple. OP never mentioned what kind of dollar it had to be. You have an original 1863 Secretary of the Treasury Salmon P. Chase dollar bill and sell it to a museum or a private collector for multi-millions as they are becoming extremely rare (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_one-dollar_bill).).

>> No.21400

Buy a winning lottery ticket for $1
It's simple