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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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File: 81 KB, 425x282, job-interview.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
824456 No.824456 [Reply] [Original]

So Anon, what's your greatest skill?

>> No.824466

Shitposting.

>> No.824469

I'm a bilingual CAP that probably makes more than you, model guy.

>> No.825016

i can draw a building on paper in 3D just from looking at it. including the rooms and everything

>inb4 retarded NEET
>inb4 xray

>> No.825040

I can fill a small cup under my desk by masturbating 5 times a day

>> No.825051

I'm an honest person. I don't want to be here. I just want the money, and you won't hire me because my greatest skill is not useful in a corporate environment.

>> No.825250

My google game on fleek.

>> No.825253

Am hard worker

>> No.825254

I can do speed runs on Spelunky and Super Meat Boy like you wouldn't believe.

>> No.825264
File: 128 KB, 601x480, 29660-Watermelon-Bear.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
825264

better question: we tracked your Internet activity to some anti-semitic views posted on a pedophile east Cambodian cartoon forum care to explain?

>> No.825270

I have years of experience in many technical fields, from consulting and software development for dozens of fortune 500 clients across many different industries to project management, process improvement, and driving transformative initiatives internally, with a long track record of entrepreneurship to match.

>> No.825271

>>824469
>bilingual
Why is this a meal ticket for so many people? When I was in school there was this *#@! who used to boast about how "ill get a better job than you" just cause she could make French noises with her mouth.

>> No.825275

>>825271
It isn't. Most people who think this are currently still getting their education. In reality, very few who have primarily language skills and not many other skills rarely go on to the sought out positions like ambassador, international consultant, etc.

>> No.825276

>>824456
Doing your wife

>> No.825417

>>825275
I c.

>> No.825434

>>824456

I am a concise and articulate communicator who works well on teams.

>> No.825438

>>825271

I'm bilingual and I make $6.50 more than my coworkers because of this "skill".

>> No.825445

>>824456
I have excellent customer service from my experience as a sales associate and a loss prevention associate. You learn a lot about customer service when the only customers you deal with are shoplifters if you know what I'm saying

>> No.825449

flux core arc welding all position ticket
shielded metal arc welding all position ticket
gas metal arc welding flat ticket

>> No.825459

>>824456

I'm self directed and don't need my hand held like every other special snowflake graduating college these days.

>> No.825534

I'm very positive, I don't see the point in being negative over every little thing. Just stick through with it until the job gets done

>> No.825550

>>824456
I have a cert 3 in electrotechnology and a cert 4 in instrumentation and actually understand both only problem is I don't drink so most people think I some sort of nut.
Ausfag for reference

>> No.825557

I can dislocate my own shoulder for free sick leave

>> No.825584

>>824456
Browsing 4chan for days without rest.

>> No.825784

I can show up high on opiates because I had a hangover from a dream where I got drunk. Tuesdays are the best.

>> No.825792

>tfw no skills
despite not being an aspie, i also dont really have any social skills so i can not really work with customers or in teams. i could be the perfect office guy though, who just does whatever hes told as long as everyone else leaves him alone. unfortunately i dont know where to get such a job.

>> No.825801

>>825792
You could be a secretary if you have a tight ass but even they have to be social. Otherwise there are no other office bitch positions.

>> No.825808

>>825801
anything like data maintenance? i guess theyll just have students do that shit or even outsource it

>> No.825809

>>824456

My ability to not comment on hideous ties

>> No.825812

>>824456
got to level 43 on cod zombies BL2 with only one other friend. We held the world record for about 3 days (we did this as soon as it came out)

>> No.825813

>>825808
I assume this role is just listed as part of a contract with a securities company. Very few places would take care of this in house

>> No.825819

>>825459
I wonder if you said this, would it be taken for cockyness or uniqueness.

>> No.825824

>>825819
he would be recommended to check his shitlord's privileges, job interviewers are hardcore tumblrettes

>> No.825827

>>825824
>tumblrettes
so cockyness.

>> No.825842

>>825264
That must be a mistake, I only visit serbian competitive knitting Imageboards.

>> No.826337

I can bhop in cs go

>> No.826378
File: 78 KB, 599x337, linus_torvalds_3820.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
826378

extensive knowledge of the linux kernel and because of that a deep understanding of linux and most other *nix based operating systems, and 10 years of maintaining enterprise databases and other miscellaneous servers. Why are you bothering me with these inane questions? I have work to do.

>> No.826382

>>825264
d-do people really check browsing history before hiring people? if so I'm fucked unless I convince them that I only do that in the privacy of my own home and that my habits are different when in a public domain.

>> No.826390

Bullshitting my way through the work week.

>> No.826419

>>825051

is your greatest skill to do with being good at super smash bros?

>> No.826436

.. well it's certainly not interviewing

>> No.826439

I have an uncanny talent to procrastinate.

>> No.827293
File: 96 KB, 1108x584, dolan job interview.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
827293

>>824456

>> No.827320

>>825270
Broken record

>> No.827327

>>824456

I'm have the weird skill of killing threads. I'm really good at selling stuff too, however that won't take me as far as being able to kill a threads, i only i could learn to control my power...

>> No.827330

>>826378
> linux
> muh free OS
7 days left now mate until that argument goes out the window

>> No.827350
File: 1.57 MB, 4940x3740, 1436516486007.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
827350

>>825264
>East Cambodian Cartoons Forum

>> No.827860
File: 312 KB, 605x615, 1428192026375.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
827860

>>824456
Kebab removal.

>> No.828992

i can draw japanese cartoons and comics

>> No.829159

>>824469
That's not even a fucking skill if everybody speak at least 2 languages, its like saying you know how to read and count.

It only makes you look slightly retarded

>> No.829162

>>824456
I can fix your kitchen sink, sell you a new fridge, finance for you, and then get your wife to cook me breakfast

>> No.829182

I'm a cockroach in the business world - a generalist that takes on multiple roles. I usually hold a job for years and never get fired despite often having inferior skills to my co-workers. Here to tell you that its true - make yourself invaluable and you'll be around till the wheels fall off.

>> No.829845

>>824456
"I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills."

>> No.829860

>>829159
What about 4 languages fluently and 2 other languages proficiently.

Won't help in field I'm trying to get into tho