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File: 140 KB, 747x759, resume worst.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
817833 No.817833 [Reply] [Original]

Bad resume thread:

I just received this beauty.

I feel bad being such a prick, but if you're 25 and your resume looks like this then you've got some things to work on.

Bonus points: It was emailed to me as a JPG .. not even a very high resolution one

>> No.817835

I'd hire him. A bit rough around the edges, but seems like a real go-getter.

>> No.817836

>>817835
hmm that's true, he hasn't been sitting on his ass all that time

>> No.817837

only one page? hmph... pathetic...

my resume is six pages...

>> No.817841

>>817833
>Factory
>Mechanic
>Painting
>Retail
>Electrical

Not necessarily branches, where you'd expect polished, well educated people, though.


Email him back, tell him use EuroPass (or some kind of U.S. equivalent) to create a new one; to send Resume in .PDF format; to add a picture.

>> No.817845

>>817837
Which makes you come off as someone that doesn't communicate efficiently. What do you need six pages for

>> No.817848

>>817837
nigga, do you really expect me to read 6 pages of your resume? you're not that important

>> No.817851

>>817841
I may do tomorrow.

He's still a head above the guy who wrote:
"Hi am wondering if the apprentice ship is still available and I don't have a resume " - that was the whole email

Sent 30 mins after the ad went up. The ad has a date on it. No resume attached

I don't want to tread on these people, they need jobs and want to work, but this shit is just making me scratch my head a bit.

In a way I like it though.. I've seen those job applications for places like Ikea. A shelf stacker application takes 30 minutes to fill out online, personality test, the works. I hate HR departments with a passion.

>> No.817870

>>817833
>football
>soccer
Those are the same fucking things

>> No.817871
File: 14 KB, 300x250, 1436448709096.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
817871

>>817851
Honestly though it's like he's not even trying. Is this in Australia? If he finished high school he should have at least some idea about when to use fucking capitals and how to sound like a literate human being.

Also surely it's a major black flag when a bloke has done 5 different trades and never lasted longer than two months in anything. I know some guys like this and they are total flakes.

>> No.817875

>>817870
hi, when do you finally leave EU?

>> No.817880

>>817833
Honestly it doesn't look like the job he's applying for requires a lot of writing skill anyway.

would hire/10, you don't want smart, ambitious people in positions like that.

>> No.817881

>>817871
Yeah it's Australia
It would have cost him a fortunate to do so many Cert 2's after the first.
I knew a guy at tafe who had done a bunch of cert 2's in different trades.. total flake as you say

It can be hard with the trade industry though, if work dries up any apprentices or labourers are the first to be let go, or if a work site finishes up etc

>> No.817886

>>817881
You should interview him just to see what his story is.

He could be...
>retarded in which case OP is the lowest form of scum for questioning his skills vs. age. At least he is making an effort.
>a dole bludger who is forced to apply for jobs, intentionally trying to make himself unmarketable as possible. You'll know if you invite him for an interview and he a) doesnt show up because he "cant find a shoe" or b) doesn't bother to shower or wear clean clothes before showing up.
>a native stick thrower in which case I'd give him kudos for even applying for a job instead of demanding special stick throwing benefits from the evil white government.


Try not to judge someone until you know them.

>> No.817898

>>817875
I'm not from Greece

>> No.817935

>>817833
When you cant even sustain multiple hobbies

>> No.817941

So many retards out there, not exactly the same but I put up an ad to search for a housemate recently and the majority of the responses were just people saying "yeah house looks good gimme a call on...." despite my ad saying to tell me a bit about themselves etc.

I'm surprised these people actually manage to find places.

>> No.817950

>>817833
why is the guy's work history doesn't match the experience history?

>> No.817957

>>817833
What's wrong with that resume? Im 19

>> No.817958

>>817957
Spelling, layout and presentation.
The actual content and experience are pretty solid though.

>> No.817974

That's a good resume. It tells you everything you want to know succinctly and without fluff.

>> No.817987

Wouldn't hiring someone with a poorly formatted resume be detrimental to that person? They might think it's acceptable to do something like that when applying elsewhere.

>> No.817988

>>817833
Honestly, I think this resume is just about right for the kind of job you'd maybe be hiring him for. Granted, there is never an excuse for spelling, but some people are just mediocre writers. As far as formatting, it's functional. I think it's kind of ridiculous when someone who has only worked in retail writes long-winded, flowery explanations about customer service and freight.

I once read a resume by an experienced engineer who was using his work history to bash, by name no less, his previous managers and how they were supposedly impeding his efforts at modernizing their system. He also stated in his resume that he wouldn't interview for a job unless he was given assurances that he was qualified for the position. That's the kind of stuff that makes you un-hirable.

>> No.818091

>>817833
That's exactly the kind of resume I would expect from a menial laborer, though. Judging by his qualifications, it sounds like he'll be hauling bags of dirt and laying bricks, not auditing a 10-k filing.

>hobbies section
That's actually kind of cute. I imagine it's just some kid looking for a construction gig.

Not really a bad resume, assuming it's for some grunt work job. It would help to know what he's applying for.

>> No.818133

>>817845
>>817848
Stop your autismo

>> No.818135

>>817841
>Europass for Europeans

is this truly necessary and expected? That format looks ugly and my own pdf version is much better. Is avoiding Europass a good idea?

>> No.818213

>>818091
You're kinda cute

>> No.818218

>>817833
Seems white, I'd hire him.

He can lift heavy things and he knows about electrics. Also he said he's a quick learner so he'll be good at any job. Hire this person immediately OP

>> No.818223

>>817837
either tard or aussie fag detected

>> No.818231

>>817833
I think you just pussied out when you saw the last thing on his resume.

>> No.818315

is it necessary to put interests and hobbies on your resume? won't employers just cover that in the interview if you make it that far?

>> No.818349

This guy doesn't have content for a real resume. He should just stick to jobs that require applications to be filled out (unskilled manual labor and mcjob types) and just forget about a resume.

>> No.818358

>>817833
What was position was he applying for? Obviously he's not afraid of manual labor.

>> No.818365
File: 220 KB, 792x974, MichealStennerResume.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

Can you guys rate my resume before I put it in? I have a good cover letter i can also post

>> No.818371

>>817833
what are you hiring him for?

>>818365
8/10

>> No.818372

>>818365
this is gold

>> No.818391

>>818315
It's not necessary, but I think it humanizes your resume to have a couple of hobbies on there. People like working with interesting people. It should only be a short list or a sentence, so that it doesn't look you're more interested in your hobbies then work, or that your hobby is a side business.

In my experience, the most important things on your resume are: skills, work experience, education, and a willingness to work.

>>818133
Nobody wants to read a six page resume.

>> No.818409
File: 60 KB, 640x960, lGuvy2k.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>818365
Your fucking filename you retard

>> No.818424

>>818409
it's a name. You can find names in the phonebook faggot

>> No.818437

>>817833
Kek. About a week ago a guy was on /fit/ askin if he should put "modeling" on his CV. We all told him "yes".

>> No.818441

>>817898
#Brexit, bruh

>> No.818445

>>818437
I remember that thread, maybe Abercrombie has a junior executive program he can enroll in

>> No.818449

>>818091
I got a job in an office at a financial institution and I told all my interviewers that for 2 summers I did landscaping and manual labor. What matters is showing your willingness to learn, and wowing them with the knowledge of the job you're applying to

>> No.818452
File: 424 KB, 1275x1650, Resume-page-001.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

I'm trying to find a job that's less shit, any advice on how I can improve my resume?

Page 1/2

>> No.818454
File: 302 KB, 1275x1650, Resume-page-002.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>818452
Page 2/2

>> No.818455

>>818454
Two pages is far too much. One page and a lot less paragraphs.

>> No.818458

>>818454
I know I'm posting a lot but just from looking I'd say, too much text on page 1, paraphrase and get rid of dumb pictures. Remove bottom section from second page, pretty much useless info. And you didn't specify your level of proficiency in the skills you listed

>> No.818466

As someone who's just hit a financial waterfall, how does someone put together a resume that isn't shit?

I have no previous work experience at all, and out of the several dozen interviews I've done in the past weeks it always seems to come down to "lack of experience" is why I can't get a job. Yet the interviewer has the audacity to just tell me to "get a job at the local burger shop for 6 months then come back"

But they won't take me because I'm not in college or already in debt to have gone to college.

Wat do.

>> No.818470

>>818466
Get a McJob

>> No.818478

>>818470
Did you not even read my post?

>> No.818481

>>818458
>>818455

Thanks for the advice. I wrote this draft up following the advice of an ex-VP of a major, major company in my industry - he was the one that suggested I have pictures, paragraphs, and the background at the end of page 2. His philosophy was that you ought to network so that your resume bypasses the HR blackhole, and then make sure that your resume stands out.

Just because he's an ex-VP doesn't mean that he knows what he's talking about though. I'll cut out the pictures, paraphrase the paragraphs, and I'll mention my proficiency in the listed skills.

Does everything look reasonable aside from those points?

>> No.818485

>>818452
>>818454
Overall good but biggest pointer is your 1st page. Needs to be condensed to about half of what you have currently.

>> No.818489

>>817833
>Having a history for your hobbies
>That shit formatting
He seems like he's qualified but his resume seems like it was crapped out in 7 minutes

>> No.818495

>>818478
So you think a good resume will help you? Start at the bottom faggot

>> No.818496

>>818466
No you literally just get a McJob and then save up money for Community college courses in some trades, then get a better job

>> No.818499

all of the work experience looks good if it had a fucking name and address attached to it

it would take 5 minutes to clean up that resume and make it presentable the fact that those minutes weren't taken makes it not worth the hire

>> No.818502

>>818437

lol...

Achievements: "boy toy of the year: 1998"

>> No.818508

>>818495
I would love to start at the bottom if everywhere didn't hire retired PTSD military first.

I know I'm not perfect, but the fact that I applied to over 50 entry level positions in fast food places and grocery stores and got nothing, what the literal fuck.

I'm not autistic, I don't look bad, I don't smell bad, I speak fine. I was in honors classes all through school since grade 3 and on honor rolls every year.

So why will nobody hire me? And like I said, the most I ever get in reply as to a "why" is just "Lack of experience"

But I can't get experience if I can't get a job. At first I thought writing down I'm available for 5 days a week was too little, so now I always write I'm available to work full or part time, 7 days a week morning afternoon and night. Yet still can't seem to find work.

>> No.818522

>>818508
Post a pic of you

>> No.818533

>>817957
>brick layering

>> No.818540

>>818358
>>818091
>>818371


It's an apprenticeship he's applying for. Not in any trade he's done courses for though

>> No.818545

>>818454
>lifelong travller

Sounds like you're going to fuck off at the first opportunity for a holiday

>> No.818549

>>818545
I'm in the mining industry - being willing to work wherever you're needed is generally a plus. I'm removing that section anyway though, my willingness to travel is already covered by my fi/fo experience in the Yukon.

>> No.818601
File: 204 KB, 973x730, CV.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

I just finished high school, and got my first job... I wrote down a sample CV for future references. Could you guys pls rate me?

>> No.818713

>>817837
lol nerd

>> No.818722

Here's a link to the template a friend sent me when I was in early undergrad
http://www.mergersandinquisitions.com/investment-banking-resume-university-student/

I changed a few things and modified some of the spacing when i wanted to jam more stuff in there but that's what I used. I'm an accounting student though - starting with Big4 this year.

>> No.818729

>>817941

It's bad from the other side, too. I did a pretty honest 'student looking for housing' type ad and got a reply asking me to bring a cash deposit to the sketchiest part of town without even looking at the place and they said I could move in right away. I didn't bother.

As for this resume, I'd interview the guy just to give him some tips on resume-writing and professionalism. Obviously all those other people thought he was hirable.

>> No.818735

>>818133

No, the other two guys are right. Cut out all irrelevant information and make it skimmable. Time is money - you're telling the boss you'll cost six times as much as the other potential employee who knows how to write a fucking resume.

>> No.818741

>>818315

If you're looking for babby's first McJob and have no relevant professional experience, then a hobby section can show some commitment and maybe even leadership skills, depending on what it is. Of course, an achievement section can do the same thing if you, say, won a championship or skill-based contest.

>> No.818743

>>818365

Hired. You start tomorrow.

>> No.818746

>>818452
>>818454

>miner

Yes, but what do you do about creepers?

>> No.818757

>>818481
He clearly never did any hiring in his job. The reality is that the guy looking over your resume isn't going to/doesn't want to read all that shit. Cater your resume to the job you want and only expound on relevant skills/accomplishments.

Essentially, a condensed version of your first page should be your cover letter, catered to the job opening to which you are applying. The second page, cleaned up, can serve as your resume.

>> No.818759

>>818452
What kind of a dumbass puts pics on his resume AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Lemme guess you're gonna submit that as a .jpg too? LEL

>> No.818767

>>818449
THIS
This is very good advice!

>> No.818775
File: 376 KB, 1275x1650, Resume-biz-fixed-it.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>818757
It pisses me off that I've applied to so many jobs using a resume format that I trusted, but is apparently shit.

Here's a version that I've written up following everybody's advice. Tear me another asshole again if you can - I want a resume that'll get me hired, not laughed at.

>> No.818780
File: 372 KB, 1275x1650, Resume-biz-fixed-it.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>818775
Wrong file.

>> No.818783

I am so glad I am past the resume portion of my career. All my offers are theough networking. Don't worry guys, there is light at the end of the tunnel!

>> No.818784

>>818780
Good, but the skills section is too long. Put yourself in the mind of an HR person. They don't want to read that shit, it looks like fluff to them. Condense it, the line about resolving disputes...you're not applying to be a bouncer. Get rid of it.

Exposure to software isn't anything. It's like saying yeah I opened up AutoCad once, therefore I'm exposed to it. Condense two lines into just something along the lines of "able to work on projects as well as work under pressure individually or with a team"

>> No.818808
File: 357 KB, 1275x1650, Resume-biz-fixed-it-2.0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

Thanks for the advice everybody.

Here's the last copy of my resume. I'll try to stop shitting the thread up after this point, but I'll keep any criticism that you throw at my resume in mind.

>> No.818814

>>818808
Better. My recommendation is this: format it better. First section is skills, the education, then RELEVANT work expirience, then any awards or distinctions

>> No.818846

>>818814
Disagree. Relevant job experience should always go first. Resumes should flow in reverse chronological order.

>> No.818852

>>817836
No, he's been going to work and then getting fired in less than a month over and over.

>> No.818864

>>818808
Looks pretty damn good to me.

>> No.818878

>>818735
Uh no having a longer resume means that I'm six times better than everyone else

>> No.818908

>>817845
>>817848
>>818223
>>818713
Was the bait really that fucking tasty you complete retards

>> No.818915

>>818759
I had a instructor that advised an attractive student to put her picture on her resume to help her get hired since she had a very Arabic name.

Apparently she found a job in about a month right after she did so.

>> No.818916

I don't have any work experience but I have done a lot of design projects. Do I just catalog each project or summarize the skills like >>818808

>> No.818917

>>818846
I think it depends on the the job. In IT fields, skills should go first, because they are usually looking for someone with a very specific skill set. A recruiter looking for a .NET web developer needs someone who knows C#, SQL, and HTML. They don't want to hunt through the The techno babble in your work history. If they can ascertain that you have the requisite skill set, they will forward your resume to a manager.

For other jobs, like a lawyer, the skill sets are pretty much the same for everyone. In that case, work history goes first, and education goes second.

In rare cases, like if you have a PHD from MIT and trivial work experience, it should go first.

>> No.819061

Anyone have some good hospitality/restaurant resume templates?

>> No.819134

>>817958
>The actual content and experience are pretty solid though.

-9 jobs in 10 years?
-work experience history (WTF is that?) shows him jumping around
-education shows he doesn't know what he wants to do with his life
-not commited to full-time work ("or casual work")

I guarantee that if you hire this guy he's gone within months.

>> No.819142

>>818454

Current job only 3 months? Not a good thing to advertise unless it's a temp/part-time job. Also unless you are applying to a geological company, no abbreviations (including metals).

>> No.819144

>>818508

If you're that smart, employers know that if they hire you for the entry-level grill position at a burger place you will be gone in a few months. If you really want to work there, skip the "honors" shit and make yourself look like a work-day grunt. Stress you will show up on time, not stoned, won't be on your phone all day and work the shifts assigned.

>> No.819152

>>817833

Can someone posted a template or an example of a good resume. I really don't want to be a guy OP posts about.

>> No.819493
File: 271 KB, 1000x1061, ResumeSketch.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

Just seeking an entry level position. What do you guys think? Also I know my experience isn't relevant but it's all I have.

>> No.819547

>>819493
plz respond

>> No.819551
File: 44 KB, 720x625, five.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>819493
>>819547
:^)

>> No.819556

>>819547
I'm this guy. >>818808

Try to format your resume how I did - nobody had an issue with my formatting style. That means name and contact info at the top, followed by a skills section, and education section, work experience and academic distinctions.

Is there any reason why you left out your highschool and university GPAs?

You should also rewrite most of your sections - use quantitative terms rather than qualitative wherever possible. Bullet points for skills rather than paragraphs.

>> No.819561
File: 139 KB, 686x342, 1436803991972.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>817837

>> No.819565

>>819493
When I put that I was enrolled in college on my resume HR people would tell me that they wouldn't hire me because they were concerned that I couldn't work every shift

>> No.820119

As long as he doesn't have a shit attitude and he is a fit for the job based on the discussion you have with him, I can't see the problem....

Year ten and pre-year ten leavers with no attempt to better themselves in any way are a waste... At least this guy has related fields of study and has been busy when not employed.

>> No.820741
File: 74 KB, 640x960, taylor_swift_1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>818508
Because your highest achievement is 3rd grade honors classes

>> No.820765

>>818759
It's a European thing.

>> No.820769

>>819493
Are you having a laugh?

>> No.820772

>>818409
lol... it's obvious he is retarded... who puts "physical disabilities" on a resume? Who puts *stars* around every headline?

lmao @ "reasons for leaving last job"

>> No.820792

>>818452
>>818454
Action verbs. NEVER write in passive form. Your resume is great.

>> No.820795

>>818722
Seems like a great resume template.

>> No.820801

Did any of you faggots wrote an honor thesis or senior thesis? If so, PUT THAT SHIT IN YOUR RESUME. This will get you hired. So many idiots forget to put it. Jobs that are analytical love thesis examples.

>> No.820840

>>817833
Hey you motherfucker why did you post my resume online I dont deserve this redicule and I am gonna fuck you up with my MMA/kickboxing experience

>> No.820988

>>820840
joke that was meant to be funny, isn't funny.

>> No.822319

>>818780
3.0 = 70%?

>> No.822425

>>822319
Percentile position in major?

>> No.822524

>>822319
I had a 70% average, and my school provided a conversion table that converted that to a 3.0. I don't really understand why people like GPAs to be honest - they aren't as intuitive as a percentage score.

>> No.822556 [DELETED] 
File: 163 KB, 693x2164, template.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
822556

critique my resume, pls be gentle

>> No.822559
File: 135 KB, 673x871, template.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
822559

>>822556
shit, wrong file

>> No.822564
File: 62 KB, 1000x897, CV.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
822564

Any advice for my resume?

It took me 4 years to pass my college so I haven't mentioned the years that it took for me to pass college(high school).

Had some unrelated work experience but I just graduated university so am applying for graduate level positions.

>> No.822581

>>822564

Don't mention grades ever. It's all too relative. If you have a GPA and it is good, then list it but other than that, don't take space which can be used to put down work experience which is IMO much more valuable than the space you are using for grades.

>> No.822582

>>822559
critique pls

>> No.822589

>>822581
I was thinking that too, but since this is a "graduate level" CV, wouldn't my potential employers require information about my college years? Should I just erase the college years altogether and just mention the university degree along with the descriptions of the jobs that I did.

>> No.822600
File: 10 KB, 429x410, 1320613825573.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
822600

>>822589

HR guy here.

The the degree alone tells them you did college/school. You're wasting their time with all that useless rubbish.
Hell, the degree implies you did pretty well in your education, and your grades don't even really reflect all that well on you.
You're hurting your chances.

Your jobs don't say much about what you can do for moving into a serious roll as they don't have much relation to the tasks you'll be doing.
Despite this, expand on them and highlight times you were trusted and given responsibility. That is always a desirable trait for any long term employee as we want to INVEST in young staff and grow them into the managers of tomorrow.

Never lie, as a good HR guy will know how to trip you up on this, but expand on the small things and make them seem bigger than they are.

Put any volunteer stuff or things that show you're a busy person who doesn't just sit around when given the chance.

>> No.822626

>>822600
Thanks, I shall change it according to your suggestions.

>> No.822634

>>818601

Spelling out CV just makes you look like a gigantic faggot, and as someone who has hired/fired before, I'd chuck your shit out.

Can't work with people like that. Rather have a dumb darkie who will say yes sir and no sir. You can train them.

>> No.822635

>>819493

>Speaks spic

You need to highlight that shit motherfucker. My sister, who got one of those useless degrees, only got her job because she minored in Spanish.

That shit alone will get you hired just about anywhere in this country. Hell, we'd probably hire you on the spot pending a drug test and passing our "test" (which is basic math, asking if you do drugs, etc).

>> No.823506

>>818466
Seriously, just get a part time or do time job in retail for six months. You need money, they have it, and the experience will make you more valuable. Also, that shit is very easy work, so went are you even upset?

>> No.823511

am I obligated to put my gpa/ wam on my resume?

I failed a few and ended up with a garbage wam barely over 60.
and are highschool results irrelevant? finished in the top 5% of the state (australia) but i doubt employers would care.

>> No.823528

>>823511
Nothing is obligated. Put on the info that paints you in the brightest light. Employers generally follow what is on your resume when they ask questions about your history.

>> No.823602

>>820765
>Euros claim to be about multiculturalism and tolerance
>Require pictures to be put on a resume so they can judge based on appearance/skin color

el-oh-el, sometimes it feels good to work in the States

>> No.824050

looks like he put in an honest effort. he probably is desperate for a job, try him out... the worst that can happen is he leaves in a month anyways and you get people more qualified to apply.

>> No.824174

>>822564
What a god awful resume

>> No.824176

>>817833
xzzz

>> No.824185

>>822564

1. When applying for roles outside of academia, don't list your actual grades. Just your GPA.

2. You'll never get a graduate level position with those grades.

>> No.824199

>>820792
Could you give an example of that?

I'm not a native English speaker so I'm not sure what you mean.

>> No.824224

>>817833
that's an Australian resume, right?

>> No.824288
File: 100 KB, 576x822, 1429991244242.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
824288

>>818780

>working in a multicultural environment

>> No.824291

>>818780
"Dealing with customer conflics that arouse"
Damn nigga, must be a good job if you have to deal with arousal problems @ work. Dick sure can arise from that.