/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.813696]

>tfw interview goes vastly better than expected

ITT: Interview general I guess.

[Anonymous No.813707]

Spoiler alert: He doesn't get the job

[Anonymous No.813714]

>went in for a job interview 2 weeks ago
>the person who interviews me is this very attractive 9/10 40-45 year old milf
>tfw if I get the job my boss will be a smoking hot milf and I can potentially get into porn scenarios

[Anonymous No.813715]

>Go to interview for a fundraiser for some charity
>Group interview
>Mostly just testing people to see whether they give a shit about equality
>Everyone goes full tumblr mode and starts talking about the plight of Muslims and gays.
>Have to fake interest.
>They saw right through it and I didn't get the job
>Offered another similar position in a charity that values hard work instead of victim hood.

[Anonymous No.813726]

>Go to an interview
>Ask how many people they're interviewing for the place
>Five people
>I'm the first
>Two people after me the same day
>Two more people the day after
>Get phone call same night offering me the position

[Anonymous No.813741]

>>813715
>charity
They're mostly a joke. Its run by some wealthy guy cumrag who wants to feel important. They feel like "shit" because they married for money.

[Anonymous No.813747]

>>813714
Fucking girls from work is bad idea my friend. Don't shit where you eat.

[Anonymous No.813790]

>Have interview for post office carrier job
>Starting wage $16/hr
>Had one interview in my life 5 years ago
>Spend $60 at JC Penny for new slacks and nice shirt
>Go into interview
>Spill spaghetti every time I talk
>Stutter 75% of my sentences because I'm nervous and really want the job
>At the end he asks me if I have any questions
>Ask how many people are being interviewed for this one position
>mfw 17 people for the single position
>Veterans get priority over everyone else
>Know there is no chance for me
>Say that's all the questions I have and leave after shaking his hand with my sweaty, recently lotioned hand

[Anonymous No.813838]

>>813790
>because I'm nervous and really want the job

Yeah, this is key. I went in today telling myself that no matter whether I get the job or not, this interview is just practice; I was perfectly happy to fail this interview and have to do 10 more before I got a job. I killed it, it literally could not possibly have gone better.

[Anonymous No.813844]

>>813696
>Trainee job (for 5 people) at a large insurance firm
>200 qualified resumes are send to the company
>80 people can do the online test
>30 people of them can come to the selection day
>Nailed the elevator pitch
>Nailed the role play interview
>Shake hands and introduce myself during the break (surprised that other candidates weren't doing that)
> They offer me the job
> I declined the job (I wanted more salary and they would need to pay 12k to my previous employer for an study agreement), they tell me that they can't make an exception for me because of the other 4 trainees they hired that day. And it wouldn't be fair to them.
> I thank them for their time and leave

mfw they send me an e-mail the next day with an contract with the salary I wanted and that they will pay the study agreement.

mfw I get paid a lot more then my 4 other colleagues.

[Anonymous No.813866]

>Walk in to interview.
>Shake hands.
>"If you're willing to work nights, you've got the job"
>Sure

I wanted to work nights, anyway.

[Anonymous No.813873]

>>813844
>>813866
Nice

Just had one this morning, short
>Opening for laborers/helpers, carpenters, similar positions in a family company thats been around for two generations which is a lot in this business
>Applied to fucking 11 places, having no experience means almost no one wants to hire me
>Get call back, expect it to be another shill call from the old online business I used to have selling glass
>Instead call back from job I actually wanted
>$10-$12 starting
>Interview scheduled
So I go here
>Guy is friendly, invites me in, we talk for a bit
>Both of us joking around, funny how all the kids in my generation are going into computer shit
>Says there is a lack of new kids and he is tired of correcting bad habits in experienced workers
>Wants someone he can teach
>16 people applied, 3 including me came to interview, others bailed
>Told him I have my own toolbelt and tools, pretty much answered the questions before he could ask them
>mfw hes laughing when I tell him about my retard "friend" who thinks his car is broken because the head light is out

3 paid vacation days, 6 holidays, I've never had official job experience before but I've done under the table construction work so I just told him I've labored before.

I almost spilled spaghetti out of my asshole and massive nipples

>d-did I get the j-job anons? ;-; I find out in a week the latest

[Anonymous No.813878]

>>813866
>>813844
>>813726
>>813696
Sweet

Just had one this morning, short
>Opening for laborers/helpers, carpenters, similar positions in a family company thats been around for two generations which is a lot in this business
>Applied to fucking 11 places, having no experience means almost no one wants to hire me
>Get call back, expect it to be another shill call from the old online business I used to have selling glass
>Instead call back from job I actually wanted
>$10-$12 starting
>Interview scheduled
So I go there
>Guy is friendly, invites me in, we talk for a bit
>Both of us joking around, funny how all the kids in my generation are going into computer shit
>Says there is a lack of new kids and he is tired of correcting bad habits in experienced workers
>Wants someone he can teach
>16 people applied, 3 including me came to interview, others bailed
>Told him I have my own toolbelt and tools, pretty much answered the questions before he could ask them
>mfw hes laughing when I tell him about my retard "friend" who thinks his car is broken because the head light is out

3 paid vacation days, 6 holidays, I've never had official job experience before but I've done under the table construction work so I just told him I've labored before.

I almost spilled spaghetti out of my asshole and massive nipples

>d-did I get the j-job anons? ;-; I find out in a week the latest

Had to delete post because I just realized it was probably NSFW but reposted with SFW image.

[Anonymous No.813882]

>>813838
Thank you I'll keep that in mind next time

[Anonymous No.813885]

>>813878

just dont stay for life anon jobs are a good thing until you have enough for something better

[Anonymous No.813894]

>>813885
Oh absolutely

I just need to get the fuck out of this apartment, honestly the plan is:
>save money
>stocks, teach myself more investing, more stocks, stocks, and some inverse stocks
>keep money there and cash out a decent amount, re-invest in more stocks
Thats over a period of a few years. When I have enough money, I'll look into opening a recreational dispensary in a state where pot is relatively new, Colorado, Washington, Oregon, etc. are becoming oversaturated, its important to get there first if you're doing anything, or hit a town with a young/semi sick demographic with no dispensary/head shop.

Wage slave? Me? For life? I'd rather literally kill myself. Almost did when I was diagnosed bipolar. Dont get me wrong without meds life is pretty shit but Im working through it, getting the job, and investing.

[Anonymous No.813968]

>>813878
Reminds me of the interview for a landscaping job

>apply to a landscaping job for shits and giggles
>was never going to get it because I had 0 experience and was not Mexican
>got called for an interview the next day
>show up at the dumpiest house in the area
>get hired on 2 weeks later
>find out he called all 50 people who applied and I was the only one to show up
>boss is a total bro who has no issue teaching people how to do things
>celebrating a year with them next week

I should be a foreman next year. We are a small company and previous outside hires of foreman have ended badly for my boss. Like you said it is the bad habits ingrained in experienced workers.

>>813894
My plan is to get a house, they are dirt cheap in the less desirable areas, and save some money Then either try a mix of landscaping, home inspection and rental property or move into something less hands on in construction. I planned on going into oil and gas after engineering school, but the culture and people in oil and gas rubbed me the wrong way. The people and culture is similar in what I do now, but they don't have wads of 100's stuck up their ass.

[Anonymous No.814125]

>>813968
>Reminds me of the interview for a landscaping job
>reminds me
>celebrating a year with them next week

its like you came to this thread without your interview in mind

[Anonymous No.814144]

>get to final interview which will be a video conference two rounds
>have no furniture due to house fire
>set up office pic related by window
>they were none the wiser and window gave decent lighting
>got the job this week
>start this month

[Anonymous No.814747]

>>814144
be careful when removing the power cord on your vaio, i had a vaio and fucked mine up once, thought it was good enough to just leave it duck taped on while i ordered a replacement cord, and the laptop overheated and wouldnt boot the next day

[Anonymous No.814759]

It's funny how first impressions are, we always hear to dress nice and all which is all true, always have a good suit or whatever. And it's funnier how people still don't dress the part.

Before an interview, picture yoraelf going in there and doing a great job.

Keep eye contact, if not sure how that works practice on people, just look straight at their eyes and don't break eye contact

Be confident

Just a couple things i learned

[Anonymous No.814995]

>>814747
Thanks I'll be careful. It's from like 2007 though, I just use it occasionally to play old games. Still works fine just slow.

[Anonymous No.815141]

>>814144
>All they can see is the window and a cup of Starbucks and as they question in their minds whether he's sitting in a plastic white-trash lawn chair indoors, you casually mention you're on your macbook

9/10 job fooling them into thinking you're a normie

[Anonymous No.815159]

>>813866
Working nights sounds really comfy.

[Anonymous No.815160]

Same

[Quackerson !!Px6V6kPmvIj No.815174]

>"What is your greatest weakness?"

>All of my life I have had to cope with the constant fear that my choices don't matter that my success is determined by the actions of others and not my actions. That I have no control of my life.
>It used to keep me up at night.

>Its why I chose the field of programming.
>Since the actions of a program are completely deterministic and constant for any type of satisfactory input, I am in complete control of my work.
>I follow this philosophy of complete control of input in my code, so that even when a user fails at input my work will always be in control of its data.

[Anonymous No.815203]

>>815159
It's actually not.

Not that guy but I worked in sales and I worked from 4pm till midnight, sometimes til 2am.

It sucks. You're always in limbo in the morning cause you don't have time to do anything fun before you go into work.

Mornings are where its at.

[Quackerson !!Px6V6kPmvIj No.815206]

>>815203
What do mean?

[Anonymous No.815216]

>>815206
Well most late day/ night shifts are from 4-5pm til close, and depending on where you work, close could be anywhere from 10pm til 3am.

And it sucks ass the next day. You're tired so you sleep in. Wow now its 10-11 am, you have 4ish hours before you have to leave to work. 1 hour is occupied by getting up, morning routine, breakfast.

Now you have 3 hours to get important shit done. Now that's out of the way, you have hour and a half to do whatever before you go to work. Whoops some of that is occupied by lunch and getting ready for work. Kiss your day goodbye. Ad infinitum.

Mornings, however, are nice:

Morning routine, quick breakfast, off to work around 9-4. And if you're in sales, that's when most customers come in, so you make more money with less hours. Now you're off at 4, you have time to do important shit and whatever you want, dinner with friends, a movie, etc.

[Anonymous No.815232]

>>815216
This.

Night shifts = no life. A couple years back I worked admin/support job and I had "afternoon" shift 3PM-11PM every other week. On that week I always had depression and wanted to kill myself. Never again.

[Anonymous No.815335]

>>813696
>usually an awkward autist who can't make conversation
>somehow do well on an interview, even manage to do smalltalk and make the interviewer laugh
>1 week later, rejection email

Feels bad

[Anonymous No.815366]

>>813696
didn't apply for grad jobs straight out of uni because i was depressed and really burnt out.

if an interviewer asks what i've been doing the past year or why i didn't previously apply, what's an answer that makes me seem less pathetic?

[Anonymous No.815391]

>>815366

If you have a year gap straight out of uni, just say you went travelling. That's a pretty common thing anyway.

Just make up a story about how you went to this place and that place and did x, y & z.

[Anonymous No.815575]

>>814144
Nice haha!

[Anonymous No.815624]

>>815335
IKTF

I seriously killed an interview for an analyst position; I had an answer with experience for all their questions, they seemed really impressed by all my answers, we started talking about politics and elections towards the end. The interview went on for close to an hour; I would have bet money that the job was mine.

2 weeks later they e-mail me and thanked me for my time, but they chose somebody else for the position.

I was so fucking bummed out, I couldn't even bring myself to reply and ask why I wasn't selected for the position.

It's funny because the job I have now, the interview wasn't nearly as strong as the previous one, and I got offered the job on the spot. Just gotta move on.

[Anonymous No.815634]

>>815624
Just some tip, always stay away from subjects like politics and elections. Many interviewers just test people.

[Anonymous No.815650]

>>815634
Well the interview was during an upcoming election, and they asked me if I was going to vote (it was for a congressman), and it just started from there. I didn't want to say something like "I don't really pay too much attention to politics" because then you look ignorant, but I didn't want to say "I don't discuss my political beliefs" because then you come off like a tin-hat wearing zero.

So they kinda pinned me in that regard, and I didn't even really say anything that outlandish or too left-ish; I kept it largely conservative.

But you could be right; that may have fucked me up.

[Anonymous No.815653]

>tfw interview goes vastly better than expected
>calls back 3 days later, doesnt get the job

this has happened to me way to many times for me to be confident about interviews.

[Anonymous No.815798]

>>813747
Fucking your boss is a great idea though.

[Anonymous No.815915]

>>815174
Jesus, did you actually say that?

[Quackerson !!Px6V6kPmvIj No.816079]

>>815915
Do you have a problem with that?

[Anonymous No.816083]

>>815174
>Since the actions of a program are completely deterministic and constant for any type of satisfactory input, I am in complete control of my work
lol

[Anonymous No.816527]

>Casually applied for a company with a friend after reading about their benefits in a trashy article.
>Literally applying for a job just based on their benefits. Don't know what software engineer entails and never actually programmed outside of school/fun.
>Interview comes around and I think I did fine, even was able to answer most of their weird programming questions without too much trouble. Start feeling great, even I believe my own hype
>Fall apart when they bring up my experiences, wasn't able to smooth talk that. Interview goes sour.
>In a desperate attempt ask about internships, they give me a call last night about it. I actually managed to get the job (sort of).
Pretty happy moment, I can't not post in this thread.

>>815216
Could be worse. I used to work graveyard shift as campus security.
>Get to work around 11PM and work til 7-8AM (sometimes longer if the next guy doesn't show up, I have to stay til he shows up or they get someone else).
>Wake up in the middle of the afternoon, aside from morning routine I have to get any shit I can't do at night done.
>Night rolls around and I can't really do anything cause I have work in a few hours.

Honestly any shift that is not morning is fucking ass. Almost everything people do revolves around it so anyone working in the afternoon/night/grave gets fucked.

[Anonymous No.816707]

Nailed an interview. I was witty, personable etc. got a call the next day that I got the job. Start today.
Its a job copywriting. Not great pay, but it's my first 9-5 job and my first job out of college (English degree).

[Anonymous No.816712]

>apply at call center place
Have experience in cx services and sales
>3 rounds of interviews
>make it to the 2nd round
>interviewer is hot as eff blonde. Srs.
>At this point knows I won't get job
>"Here's my business card if you ever seriously need anything"
>another girl walks in, thanks me, let's me go home
>didn't get the job
Doesn't matter because I'm now making base what they make with potential bonus.

Anyways, still have blondes card, should I go for it?

[Anonymous No.816744]

>>816712
YES
Gods speed my man

[Anonymous No.816757]

>>816744
Only problem is I live 2 hours away now.

May start a thread about this because definitely want to see where it goes

[Anonymous No.816967]

>>816079
If you actually said that then you're a hero for autists everywhere.
Shunned everywhere, but a hero.

[Anonymous No.817057]

>>815174
I hope you're really good at memory management or else one day some junk will be returned to you and you'll realize you don't actually have control of your life/program. The mere fact that you wrote this post suggests you'll probably an hero when that day comes.

[Anonymous No.817177]

>if you see someone violating company policy, what do you do?

What is the expected/best answer? It's one of those things where it seems so obvious, that you can't believe the most obvious answer is the right one.

[Anonymous No.817447]

>>817177
Just try to give an honest opinion.

They probably just check your reaction and if you go "ILL REPORT IT ASAP" they'd probably assume you were lying.

Just give some bullshit about how you would discuss the smaller violations with the violator in hopes of convincing or educating him enough so it won't happen again, because you believe in teamwork and constant snitching and fear doesn't fit well in the picture.

But then add that if it's a serious violation or a recurrent one, the you'd discuss it with the supervisor.

That's probably the best answer you could give.

[Anonymous No.817566]

>>815206
Where can I find that pastebin with tips on makin money from NEET-hood that I saw you post once?

[Quackerson !!Px6V6kPmvIj No.817624]

>>817566
Needyneetguide.biz

In the future, you can easily find it by searching for "Quackerson's needy NEET guide"

Also a NEET job thread exists here: >>803799

Have a nice night.

[Anonymous No.818054]

I have a Wells Fargo phone banker interview in an hour. Any tips bros

[Anonymous No.818141]

>>813790
>shaking his hand with my sweaty, recently lotioned hand

[Anonymous No.818144]

>>818054
Over the phone interview?
Have Google on standby
Walk around and smile while on the phone
Tell him the value you'll add to their bank

[Anonymous No.818716]

>>818144
No it was face to face. I guess it went well.

It was a Chinese women interviewing me...

[Anonymous No.818724]

>>817624

Maybe you should add sexcam info to that...it's requested often enough

[Anonymous No.818750]

>>813696
>Phone interview today
>Call at the time I'm told to
>No answer
>leave voice mail
>No call back
It's more the not knowing what to do at this point. I should have just called again 5 minutes later.

[Anonymous No.818781]

>>818750
That sucks. Its a hiring job market though so companies can be assholes/incompetent

[Anonymous No.818785]

I've never had a good interview in my life. Every single one has been a disaster cause I get so nervous. Managed to land a good job anyway because my resume was so good I got to do at least 20 interviews before getting hired out of college.

[Quackerson !!Px6V6kPmvIj No.818930]

>>818724
Seems like kind of a downward spiral at that point.

[Anonymous No.818939]

>tfw you fuck up every interview

Should I kill myself?

[Anonymous No.819013]

real estate cadet interview any tips bros ?

[Anonymous No.819024]

>>813844
tell me how you do it and how it goes, the pitch and everything. I want to be good and recognize when I'm supposed to be doing something.

For example, do you always shake hand with everybody at a table in an interview? It feels like a long and useless formality to me since they're all lined up (does it change anything really if yo do it or not?).

[Anonymous No.819449]

>>815335
are you me ?