/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.797274]

I just got reprimanded by my dean of students for being "too terse" with my e-mails (i.e. not being an overly cheery fake faggot and saying things like "Hello, how are you!")
He said "E-mails are not like texting"
Why not?

Is corporate culture this fucking mind-numbing? When I find work as an accountant, will I get page-long emails from people complaining how I don't fake smile and use exclamation points in my responses?

[Anonymous No.797277]

Nah, your dean of students is just power tripping.

Being overly friendly is worse than being too formal in the business world.

[Anonymous No.797288]

>>797274

When I was in high school I got reprimanded by a teacher for not being formal enough in my emails. Then I got to college and realized no one cares about formality, including professors.

Your dean sounds like a doorknob and is better off ignored.

[Anonymous No.797290]

>>797274
Why are you so autistic that you can't include a few pleasantries in your email correspondence? You're not a robot, and neither is the person receiving your email. Humans instinctively engage in this behavior, so its curious that you seem to have a problem with it....

[Anonymous No.797294]

>>797290
he sent an email
>blah blah blah new policy email back if you have any questions

I send
>question 1
>question 2
>question 3
>-Anon

I just wanted to know a couple things that he offered to explain, why should I have to ask him how his summer is
it's not like I emailed him out of the blue and yelled at him in all caps

[Anonymous No.797295]

>>797290

Time is money. Emails should be brief because most professors and busy people get dozens if not hundreds of emails during the day. Good email writing necessarily entails being succinct and getting to the point as soon as possible. No one cares about how your dog Skippy is doing, that you had a wonderful date with your girlfriend last week, or that your summer has been "just fantastic so far!"

[Anonymous No.797298]

At a previous job my supervisor called me into his office and said I needed to "show more enthusiasm", I made minimum wage lifting boxes all day

[Anonymous No.797302]

>>797274

He's being a fag.

Although, it's good to start an email with something, like:

what's up
hey
hope you're good.

you don't have to be Merry Fuckin Poppins, but if its just pure robot text, you can cheer it up a little.

but don't act like the cutesy gay HR girl who's all: "Omg! Hello! Hope all is well! Just emailing you to say...."

If thats what you're dean wants then fuck his faggot ass.

[Anonymous No.797307]

>>797294
He wanted you to open your email with:
>Hi Dean Cockface,

It's stupid old people shit, but some people like it / they like having their title acknowledged.

[Anonymous No.797328]

>>797294

Tbh I'm pretty pissed just reading this post, sounds like you need some work bro

[Anonymous No.797331]

>autism meets egotrip: the conflict

[Anonymous No.797335]

>>797274
>Is corporate culture this fucking mind-numbing?

Yes. Get used to seemingly pointless corporate rules, usually written by someone with limited knowledge of actual day-to-day company operations.

Someone in upper-management at my company has decided to make a rule where you have to always be smiling/chipper and say "hello" when you pass people in hallways. They are trying to create a fun environment (trying to be like Google) at work.

You can actually be issued an official reprimand if you fail to do this.

[Anonymous No.797362]

>>797331
what will happen if i email back and say

i am sorry i have autism
-anon

[Anonymous No.797380]

One thing I never understood and do not partake it with emails at work.
>emails that are pretty much just chat
>emailing back and fourth instantly
>the other person still starts each email with "Hi Anon," and finish's it with "kind regards, anon2"

Why? Do they think I've forgotten their name from the previous 20 emails, or can't read their name in the inbox?

[Anonymous No.797387]

This reminds me of that week when I wrote all my emails using the US Army manual of style because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Apparently no one else at my company had read this document. They said my emails were weird, and asked me to stop.

Most email clients have a feature that sticks

Dear (name)

and

Yours
John Stevens
(Sent from my ipad)

That last part is important. Set it on your PC so people ignore spelling and grammar errors.

[Anonymous No.797396]

>dear XXXXXXXXXXXX
>[content of message]
>sincerely, anon

how fucking hard is this?

[Anonymous No.797403]

>>797387
what do you mean by that?

[Anonymous No.797509]

>>797294
>I send
>>question 1
>>question 2
>>question 3
>>-Anon

"Regarding the policy you distributed, I did have a few questions:"

>question 1
>question 2
>question 3

"Thanks for your time."

>-Anon

Now was that so fucking hard?

[Anonymous No.797535]

>>797274
I e-mail all the time in a professional setting and am always to the point while including the niceties. Example of the type of shit I send out every day:

>Hi [first name],
> Please forward your [document] [for X purpose/whenever you get the chance/as soon as possible/etc]. Thanks,
> -[my first name]


Not that hard.

[Anonymous No.797539]

>>797290
You sound like one of those faggots in HR no one likes.

[Anonymous No.797547]

>>797362
...Fuck. That would work so well in Academia.

[Anonymous No.797608]

>>797535
>>797396
>>797509
>>797387
>>797294

doing it right.

>>797380
the end is signature most likely

my emails are usually,

XXXX, good day.

bla bla bla bla (with a please, or help us, or something similar so it does not look like an order from me)

Thanks.

Except to my boss, to my boss are all direct shit,

-Did you send the requisition?

-We are having issue in sector 3, with the core reactor, have we had this issue before? is this under warranty or should i call the supplier for suport? The technicians will look at it later to search for cracks, Im getting quotes at the moment.

-we have the 3 cores fucked up, are going to be down for a while, working on it.

[Anonymous No.797657]

>>797294


HAHAHA fucking autists.

[Anonymous No.797764]

>>797295
Hmmm. I wonder if the Dean would recommend Anon A (who never asks about Skippy) or Anon B (who always asks about Skippy) for an internship or possibly a job.

[Anonymous No.797770]

>>797274
I hate this shit too, anon. It's always old managers who use overly formal shit

>Please and thank you for every tiny request
>A massive signature at the end of their email detailing their email address (as if we didn't already know it), phone number, address, official title, and so on
>Use of shitty fonts for no apparent reason
>Have a good day xx

[Anonymous No.797783]

>>797290
Dear faggot

Please kill yourself

:-)

[Anonymous No.797804]

>>797770

I'd take overly professional emails format to kids today that write work communication like they were niggers bullshitting at a street corner.

In fact, as an interviewer, my company's policy is to write several email questions with candidates back & forth to gage their professional writing behavior.

[Anonymous No.797807]

>>797274
>at Uni always being reminded of using full titles when writing a professor or doctor and keeping it short an polite
>"Dear Prof. Dr. XYZ, I'm enquring about.."
>get reply
>"Hello first name, yes you can do that. Greetings, XYZ"

[Anonymous No.797809]

>>797764
So you're saying you think it's appropriate to discuss Skippy in an email, of which busy professionals receive dozens or hundreds each day?

I don't think so.

[Anonymous No.797823]

>>797274
> That feel when military background

NAME,

Answer to any questions and/or report of what happened.

Questions that I have and/or suggestions for course of action.

"If you have any questions, you may contact me at [email] or [phone number]."

Respectfully,
ANON McANON
DEPARTMENT, BUSINESS
ADDRESS
EMAIL
PHONE


and their responses tend to be:

Anon,
k, ill just stop by your office
happy holidays!
Jane from accounting

[Anonymous No.797836]

>>797823
or a response

k thanx for that
xx
kirsty xx
Customer Services


FOR FUCK SAKE

[Anonymous No.797849]

>>797274
that's not being an overly cheery faggot, that's common courtesy, you autist

[Anonymous No.797860]

>>797807
>Prof. Dr.
top kek

[Anonymous No.797862]

>>797274
as a general rule of thumb, go more formal -> less formal if you communicate with the person more often

[Anonymous No.797901]

>>797307
>It's stupid old people shit, but some people like it
>>797770
>It's always old managers who use overly formal shit

Oooooooh.....we got some badasses here! Listen up you young anal probers: Those nipple clamps you're wearing were made in China and apparently the Chinese fucking chemicals in them have affected your alleged young brains because as evidenced by the dumbfuck comments above. Go ahead and become the asshole you that you look at in the full length mirror laying on the floor to see if your anal bleaching is working yet because you don't want to provide cultural solidarity to all the people who attend your school of place of employment simply because they may not have gluten free Chinese symbols tattooed on their calf like you fucking do. Goddammit, in my fucking day we respected our elders because they helped us get a paycheck and we kissed their red meat asses because they would help us get ahead if we were political. That's the opposite of you young fuckheads who bitch that the coffee isn't "blood-free" coffee from some neck of the woods on this planet where the iguanas shit out the coffee beans before some fucking dreadlocked trustafarian hipster wearing dayglo orange soccer shoes instagrams it to his holistic BM club as an affirmation of his joy de hipster ouevre. Boo fucking hoo that you can't deal with communication like a nice person and not some Hollywood actor's agent or some hedge fund prick. Take your taper-faded SS haircut with a slight fauxhawk and try to rub some sense into the head underneath it, not the one in your gluten-free underwear that you want to take a pic of and send to the boss's wife but the one that your fedora sits on and that you have apparently and regularly positioned up your ass.

[Anonymous No.797915]

>>797901
new pasta

[Anonymous No.798003]

>>797860
people are pretty anal about that here

[Anonymous No.798023]

>>797823
Am I the only one who likes cheery middle aged housewife replies? I start formal, then match whatever style they respond to.

I find that if it's a woman, you have to play with them a little.

[Anonymous No.798043]

>>798023
idd they love being played a little.

[Anonymous No.798079]

>>797396
>XXX

Diamond hard anon.

[Anonymous No.798081]

>>797809
I agree with him, though.

Just throw it in at the end, connecting to earlier. Maybe he mentioned that Skippy was sick, so after your questions, and the "Thank you for your time" throw in a p.s. asking about Skippy.

I fucking guarantee you'll get a response to the email really fucking quickly, you'll be looked at in a more favorable light, and be more likely to be promoted/get a raise/whatever.

[Anonymous No.798135]

>>797380
>Why? Do they think I've forgotten their name from the previous 20 emails, or can't read their name in the inbox?
Sometimes it's just habit from group emails. If you're just copying someone else on an email for their reference, but addressing another person in the email, then an easy way to make that known is by simply starting the email with "Name," or "Hi Name," or whatever. Not sure why they sign off their posts with "kind regards" though, unless that's their signature, in which case it's a shitty signature.

[Anonymous No.798592]

>>797274
this is how I look at it

>be a dick, like you and 4chan want you to
good luck

>be polite and formal, because it's really not that difficult and everyone will like you and start giving you promotions
not a difficult decision, it's all about the paycheck at the end of the day

[Anonymous No.798609]

>>798592

I rarely use exclamation points, never smileys. Just begin at least the opening thread with a Good ____, and end almost every email with a take care, have a good evening, good weekend, etc. it really isn't that hard. Imagine someone telling you to have a relaxing weekend; sure it isn't much but its better than being an abrasive asshat

[Anonymous No.798699]

>>797274
Your dean lives in lala land.

Corporate emails are 100% like texting, unless they need to convey a lot of details. Most people respond with half a sentence.

That being said, it doesn't hurt to be nice. You can't control all of the shit you need. If you are nice, people tend to respond to you quicker and don't 'lose your emails' in the hundreds of others they receive daily

[Anonymous No.798725]

>>797302
>then fuck his faggot ass

phrasing bro

[Anonymous No.798741]

>>797770
>Please and thank you for every tiny request
That's called being polite you fucking caveman

>>797804
>I interview people based on their writing ability
>"gage"
You gotta be kidding me

[Anonymous No.798746]

That's hilarious. I when I got my job and started getting emails from HR I was really surprised by the lack of warmth. So now I email all direct and to the point. I wouldn't mind putting in a bunch of shit though I just don't want to appear beta.