/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.7189422]

>I used to be a police officer in Switzerland. I would set up my speed traps on winding mountain roads to catch so called “enthusiast speeders.” These people often drove exotic European cars and would drive a 3x the posted limit. It was easy to catch these speeders and it made me look good in front of my Captain. One day I saw an gods chariot come racing over a crest at 97 MPH. I couldn’t believe it. This driver had balls and taste. I had to meet him. I radioed ahead for a roadblock. There was no way I could catch him on my own. My fellow officers covered the road. With screeching tires and mountains of smoke he came to a stop inches from the road block. There was a skeletal, autistic Russian man-child behind the wheel. His license just said Vitalik. No last name. We admired his car and he popped the hood to show us his engine bay. No modifications. Just a clean, pure Lamborghini Aventador V12 engine. We respected this god. He respected us. Let him go with a warning.

pic related

[Anonymous No.7189440]

I saw Sergey at a grocery store in San Francisco yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

[Anonymous No.7189513]

if you do 100mph in an 50mph zone you will get jail time 100% and a fine proportional to your income in Switzerland

t. swiss

[Anonymous No.7189527]

>>7189422

I'm surprised his engine bay didn't have a whole bunch of little decentralised engines doing a bit of the work each.

[Anonymous No.7189681]

Fake, Swiss police isnt alone they are 2 in a car. Also we use KM/H not americuck units

[Anonymous No.7189739]

As an emergency room physician, I see people at their most vulnerable, as you can imagine. I’m in New York City not too far from Soho more of the Bowery. Many people who are involved with finance....particularly international finance...stay in the area and I am often the physician of last resort for weekend illnesses.
Last month, before Christmas, a man named Sergie (sp?) came in. Said he was involved selling coins. Expensive coins, he emphasized over and over. Revolutionary even.
I shouldn’t say much more but I told him that his herpes was not treatable and that he should wear a condom with his partners. He and his ‘Russian Bodyguard’ left in a huff.

[Anonymous No.7189805]

>>7189513
What a gay country

[Anonymous No.7189830]

>>7189422
that's a Hurakan you brainlet

[Anonymous No.7189857]

I saw Sergey once when we were prisoners in Dachau in early 1944. We all called him Skellyjew. He derived a new method of distributing potato gruel amongst the prisoners based on something called smart contracts. We all gave him our potatoes, and he paid us in thin air, or “Ether” as he called it. I tried to keep my thin air, as I thought it wouldn’t be an appreciating commodity, but I had a hole in my wallet and the Ether just diffused out. Eventually I tricked enough people into sending me 0.1 of a potato in exchange for me not kicking their heads in, and I escaped weeks before the Americans arrived. I spent the next years trying to track down Skellyjew and get my Ether back, but leads in Switzerland and Gay Francisco come to nothing.

[Anonymous No.7189893]

>>7189830
>LP-740 on license plate
>hurricane

[Anonymous No.7190228]

>>7189805
I don't want to know in what a shithole of a country you live in