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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

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6207004 No.6207004 [Reply] [Original]

Link Marine:
"Dad, I've never asked you - how did you get your start? Like, you only play video games and mate your Gen 10k cryptokitties all day long - how do we have this nice house? And like, food to eat?"

I chuckle and take a deep draw from my soma-tap. "Well son, way back in the day, I was lucky enough to stumble upon some ground-breaking blockchain tech when it was still in its infancy. I had a couple of hundred US dollars (the local, "national" currency at the time) lying around, and so, I bought link."

Sergey jr. gapes at me, goggle-eyed. "Wait. You mean to tell me that you owned a whole Finney?!"

I laugh, throwing my head back with mirth. "No, son. I owned Link.”

He splutters, fingers frantically scrabbling across his wrist-tab to set up a live holofeed. And then he pauses a beat, a quizzical look settling across his face.

"But wait... If that's true, why don't we live in like, a fricking castle? Why aren't we taking weekend trips to the orbital hubs?"

I choke on my soma, coughing out gouts of translucent vapor that waft away on the crackling breeze of the static deionizer. "Well," I choke out, eyes watering and cheeks burning red, "I, um, I sold them."

He eyes me with cold malice. "How much did you sell them for, Dad?"

I look away, twirling the tap anxiously in my fingers. It made sense at the time. It was a bubble, there was no way that it wasn't! Softly, almost imperceptibly, I murmur to myself, "Less than it should have been..."

1/2

>> No.6207017

>>6207004
"I'm sorry dad, I didn't hear that," he says loudly, pointing his holofeed aperture at me. "How much did you sell your whole Link for??"

I'm going to be the laughingstock of the blocknet. I can feel the tips of my ears burning crimson.

"...three thousand, two hundred forty."

Already, the celebrity emojis have begun rolling in. Justin Bieber is howling with laughter, pointing at me from the seat of his hover-quad. Selena Gomez, Barron Trump, Betty White, they're all there, circling me and shrieking with sadistic glee, jabbing at me with their damning fingers.

"My DCA was three hundred US dollars!" I shriek, clawing at my ocular receptor. "It made financial sense at the time, given my gainz and my personal situation!"

I collapse to the floor in the fetal position, clutching my head in my hands as the ghouls continue to torment me. "I bought back in at 100,000!" I cry. "I'm still buying! In a few decades more, I could have a full Finney to my name!"

Honey Boo-Boo appears before me, leering at me with disgust from her stasis chamber.

"I know!" I cry. "I made a mistake, I know! But how could I have known???"

My son walks over and pats me on the head with paternalistic pity.

"Of course," he coos, the beady black eye of his holofeed staring at me blankly, "how could you have known what you were giving up? Poor, simple man... How, indeed, could you have known..."

2/2

>> No.6207093
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6207093

>>6207004

>> No.6207155

I'm convinced.

>> No.6207323

9 keks out of 10.

>> No.6207325

>knows nothing of fiat
>asks how much it cost

>> No.6207383

>>6207004
Stopped reading at cryptokitties.

>> No.6207384

Tldr linkie, tldr

>> No.6207389

>>6207325
it's in gwei

>> No.6207445

The absolute level of desperation
This is dgb tier