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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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6167792 No.6167792 [Reply] [Original]

Times when you've weaponized the free market for solutions.
>neighbor's dog won't stop shitting in my yard
>ask him politely to pick up after his canine
>doesn't change his poop-and-run tactics
>sign him up for a FREE* 3 month mattress
>it comes to his door when he's at work
>throw it in his pool
>catch him standing in his backyard that evening desparately trying to fish the 180lb waterladen Temperpedic(tm) memory foam queensized mattresses out of his pool
>by the time it's over he's wrenched his back and fucked up one of his knees
>leaves it out by the curb
>second mattress already on its way
>he calls the police this time
>get questioned, tell them I haven't seen anything suspicious all day
>once again he has to fish it out
>decide two is enough, he's probably learned his lesson
>once again catch the fucker's dog shitting on my lawn
>don't even bother confronting him anymore
>find two dozen more websites advertising free mattresses
>light each one on fire in his yard when it shows up
>comes home to either a scorched cottony mess in his yard or a still-burning 10ft flame
>catch him breaking down and crying several times
>eventually one day he up and moves, probably hit by the insurmountable debt of not paying for 30 mattresses he signed up for
told that fucker

>> No.6167901

>>6167792
God Damn

>> No.6167968

>>6167792
I would have just killed his dog

>> No.6168068

>>6167968
>killing an animal for being an animal
Wrong. The dog doesn't know any better. It's owner does (or at least SHOULD).

>> No.6168108

>>6167968
this desu

>> No.6168110

I know that's fake, but damn I wish it wasn't. That's godly. Having neighbors is trash because you can't do anything about it and the police won't do shit. You just have to deal with mexicans in your vicinity because you aren't rich enough to buy a huge estate.

>> No.6168142

Woah I can get free mattresses online!?

>> No.6168174

>>6167968
>>6168108
plus how is that a free market solution??? These websites exist SOLELY for either
1) sleeping on free mattresses for 20 years by sending them back before the trial period ends or
2) getting a mattress and throwing it in your neighbor's pool after signing him up for it

>> No.6168307

>>6168142
yes but if you don't wanna buy them you have to ship them back before the time runs out or you get billed
source: flatmate of mine probably slept on a hundred of free* mattresses when we were living together

>> No.6168527

>biz too busy jizzing as hard as possible over "muh coins" to appreciate the true power of the free market
why the fuck am I not surprised