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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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57994028 No.57994028 [Reply] [Original]

>Have a zoom interview next week
>Google interviewer name
>Literally a gigastacey working HR

How do you hide your autism so I can get a comfy job?

>> No.57994051

>>57994028
Use an ai filter so she is naked

>> No.57994092

Firm handshake and never break eye contact.

>> No.57994193

>>57994028
Pull your cock out to assert dominance.

>> No.57994212

>>57994028
You'll never fuck her so don't worry about it. Also who cares if you don't get the job? There's a thousand out there just like it. There you go solved your anxiety now you'll get the job

>> No.57994261 [DELETED] 
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57994261

I have an interview tomorrow and I checked out my interviewer and she's younger than me. These are the women deciding who gets hired

>> No.57994276
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57994276

Just answer questions how a normie would answer them. Visualize a normie version of yourself in your head, get into character by pretending to be him and send it. This is also an effective tactic in other situations, including but not limited to dating

>> No.57994337 [DELETED] 

>>57994261
What the fuck is wrong with her face? There's some uncanny valley shit going on here

>> No.57995287

>>57994276
I pretend to be a black guy during sex

>> No.57995502

>>57994028
get me a pic of her face and I'll create a deepfake image of her tied up naked with dicks up her ass
after that you'll feel more at ease around her

>> No.57995525
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57995525

>>57994028
>diagnosed with autism as an adult
>always a terrible interviewer despite having a fantastic cv and genuine expertise
>tell normie gf about how hard the job search was, she's starting her own (graduating middle school)
>applies to two jobs, gets offers for both, starts immediately
>tfw I applied to over 200 to get one offer
>turns out I'm just a fucking weirdo and the job market isn't really that hard

>> No.57996673

>>57995287
What you pretend to be gay, broke and retarded?

>> No.57996772

>>57994028
Use your autism to nail the interview

Dress nice, not overdressed but just have good fitted clothes, go to the hairdresser etc.

Subtle influence, make sure the background of the webcam matches the image you want to give. Show a clean environment, maybe have in the background of the room a picture of you with some friends. And make sure there is enough light in your room.

Subtle stalking, check anon their linkedin and socials. Find something you can use to connect with the person.

When they ask what your hobbies are don't give them cringe hobbies and always make sure other people are involved. For example when you go to the gym, then tell them you like going to the gym with your friends. Best thing is being on a teamsport because then you can give some bs that everything is a team effort etc.

Be business oriented, not job oriented. So don't say I think software architecture standards are super important. But tell them they support a modern enterprise but if necessary you don't mind changing the standards.

You can do this, I believe in you.

>> No.57996891

>>57995525
i feel you so much it hurts

>> No.57996906

You aren't autistic. You've just spent all your life in a basement and never learned to talk to people. Learn the difference

>> No.57996918

>>57996772
>black tie
>brylcreem hair
>don't have photos of friends so printed out 50 stockphotos and pasted them all on the wall with a cutout of myself (the same one) on all of them
>sent linkedin request to HR stacy, asked which pizza place she likes to break the ice but not frozen pizza amirite haha
>talk about the gym for 15 minutes (went through the exercise rabbit hole the night before)and close the topic by showing a stockphoto of people in the gym with myself edited on it
>snack on a bowl of eggs the entire interview because of the insane nutritional value

>> No.57996963

>>57994028
If you're a techie, she'll already be used to dealing with assburger types, the sector is just full of them, and filtering them outright would be a a shit business decision.

>> No.57997005

>>57995525
Your gf meets quotas more than you.