/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.57672459]

The question that filtered midwits...

[Anonymous No.57672466]

>>57672459
open elephanto grindr account and sell the beast to faggots
this one is easy

[Anonymous No.57672476]

>>57672459
Step up and take good care of the elephant :))

[Anonymous No.57672477]

>>57672459
Keep it, and ride it.

[Anonymous No.57672484]

keep it?
isn't that the only choice?
fucking dumb question

[Anonymous No.57672485]

Rent out the elephant for rides and use the money to buy ETH

[Anonymous No.57672488]

>application for zookeeper

[Anonymous No.57672490]

>>57672459
rent it out
easy

[Anonymous No.57672493]

>>57672459
The Simpsons already answered this age old question perfectly. This question filters zoomer faggots is what it does

[Anonymous No.57672500]

>>57672484
I wouldnt hire you with an answer like that.
>>57672459
I'd host a mini circus once a year in my hometown and charge for kids to ride on the elephant. For the rest of the year it would live on my acreage and I would put a harness on it so it can help me plow my garden.

[Anonymous No.57672501]

>>57672485
This nigga is employed already!

[Anonymous No.57672514]

>>57672459
The correct answer is loan the elephant off on contract which is profiting without either selling or giving up and giving it away.

[Anonymous No.57672519]

Eat it.

[Anonymous No.57672529]

>>57672459
Fly the elephant out to somewhere in Africa and release it. Technically you aren't giving it away or selling it. If you have to keep it, create a social media profile for the elephant and make videos of it doing elephant stuff and monetize it.

[Anonymous No.57672544]

>>57672529
That still counts as giving it away. Also, fuck you, that Elephant will be lonely without a herd and starve to death. It has never lived in the wild.

[Anonymous No.57672549]

>>57672459
I would teach him how to paint and play music for him.

[Anonymous No.57672553]

>>57672459
Would leave it in the room as nobody ever notices anyway

[Anonymous No.57672562]

I would buy Migrantinu

[Anonymous No.57672570]

>>57672459
BOOM BOOM CLAP BOOM BOOM CLAP. just answer our stupid questions wagie.

[Anonymous No.57672583]

>>57672459
"Niggers tongue my anus"

[Anonymous No.57672590]

Wait so I'm the only one that would butcher it for meat?

[Anonymous No.57672594]

Harvest the ivory?
Are you guys underage or something?

[Anonymous No.57672600]

>>57672459
Easiest question ever. Take him to public places and charge parents $20 to have their kids sit on his back so they can take a photo. That's an easy $2000 in a couple hours. Do it once or twice a week. Then for the rest of the time I'll dig him a pond in my backyard and I'll take him out for daily walks and feed him all the fruit and grass he wants. You could also hire a couple desperate college kids to do a sidehustle selling his poop.

[Anonymous No.57672605]

>>57672459
Butcher and eat it.

During the Franco/Prussian war, when Paris was being sieged out and food was running thin they slaughtered the zoo elephants and sold it to aristocrats. Elephant is allegedly a pretty bad meat, though the trunks were considered a delicacy.

[Anonymous No.57672609]

>>57672459
I wouldn't do anything with the elephant. I would listen, and that's what no one did.

[Anonymous No.57672612]

Invade Rome

[Anonymous No.57672624]

>>57672609
kek and Manson pilled

[Anonymous No.57672627]

WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT

[Anonymous No.57672630]

>>57672493
So use the elephant to attack a peanut factory?

[Anonymous No.57672656]

>>57672612
Based and Hannibalpilled

[Anonymous No.57672672]

>>57672459
but I don’t got no elephant

[Anonymous No.57672677]

>>57672570
kek

[Anonymous No.57672692]

>>57672466
It litterally says you can’t sell it faggot

[Anonymous No.57672706]

>>57672514
Take a loan, using the elephant as collateral.

[Anonymous No.57672707]

>>57672459
I’d just ignore it

[Anonymous No.57672731]

i would befriend it and we would make the best of it. i wouldn't mind having an elephant friend.

[Anonymous No.57672740]

>>57672514
I believe that would be the case if it’s male.

If it’s female, I’d pay to get it impregnated by zoo elephants and sell the offspring

[Anonymous No.57672759]

1. Hire an elephant caretaker
2. Give rides to tourists. Visit indian temples. Open a petting zoo with one elephant etc

[Anonymous No.57672766]

>>57672459
Let it leave on it’s own terms… Into the wild.

[Anonymous No.57672769]

Sirs elephant is sacred in my country
We dont like this question delete

[Anonymous No.57672774]

Buy a shit piece of land with thick vegetation on the cheap, harness its natural power to clear the land and start a farm, use that same power to pull the plow, use the manure for fertilizer, once the elephant has outlived its usefulness, harvest the tusks for cash, fashion it's leather skin into clothing, a blanket, or other useful item, dine on the meat, fashion the bones into a fence

[Anonymous No.57672801]

>>57672774
They'd reject you because they'd know white hands wrote this.

[Anonymous No.57672813]

Let it go.
Not my problem.

[Anonymous No.57672816]

[Anonymous No.57672825]

>>57672459
I would probably adorn it in tapestry, put some metal caps on its tusks and go to war with the catholocucks like any proud Persian.

[Anonymous No.57672834]

>>57672459
hug him and pet him and call him george

[Anonymous No.57672849]

>>57672774
Rejected
>>57672813
Invited for interview

[Anonymous No.57672850]

>>57672594
No they just aren't criminals. Dealing in new ivory is illegal.

[Anonymous No.57672860]

>>57672549
based elephant video enjoyer

[Anonymous No.57672866]

>>57672459
Attack Rome.

[Anonymous No.57672880]

>>57672459
Shoot it and feed it to my dogs for the next 10 years. Not worth my time to care for an elephant even if I can rent it out

[Anonymous No.57672888]

>>57672459
finally a wife.

[Anonymous No.57672889]

>>57672459
send it to the Oval Office

[OreoSplit No.57672917]

I'd give it away anyway. Probably to the local zoo. If you're trying to test my character, give me a logical question.

[Anonymous No.57672920]

>>57672500
>host a mini circus once a year in my hometown and charge for kids to ride on the elephant
t. Indian

[Anonymous No.57672929]

give it to a zoo, it's illegal to own an elephant without a proper license

[OreoSplit No.57672952]

In fact I'd program this question so that, if it is not answered for 1 minute, or if somebody tries to X out of the test at this point, the question disappears and a "congratulations, as a thinking individual who does not accept ridiculous arbitrary traps, we are interested in interviewing you" message pops up. Go gettem', you can-doer.

[Anonymous No.57672957]

The correct answer is to train it into a war elephant

[Anonymous No.57673058]

>>57672731
correct answer

[Anonymous No.57673144]

>>57672459
I slaughter it kosher and eat the Meat and make cutlery from its bones.

[Anonymous No.57673171]

>>57672500
Good luck feeding and maintaining it the rest of the year. Thefood budget alone would be astronomical.

[Anonymous No.57673197]

>>57672957
>Put your name down as Hannibal on the application
>Wait patiently for this question.
>Answer: March on Rome
>???
>Profit

[Anonymous No.57673202]

>>57672459
Zoophilia is always an option

[Anonymous No.57673214]

[Anonymous No.57673227]

>>57672490
This.

[Anonymous No.57673282]

>>57672553
Underrated.

[Anonymous No.57673291]

>>57672459
Set up trunked.com of course

[Anonymous No.57673310]

>>57672459
Mint an elephant inu memecoin and shill it on tiktok with the elephant, then rug the whole thing at 1B MC.
>Captcha: DJNGG4
>DJ Nigger
Kek

[Anonymous No.57673322]

What if I rented it to a zoo or a wildlife place for a reasonable price? That's not selling nor giving away.

[Anonymous No.57673349]

>>57672553
>>57673282
Kek, yeah. Good catch.

[Anonymous No.57673365]

take out an insurance policy on the elephant
hopefully there's no electrical fires

[Anonymous No.57673367]

>>57672459
There would be no better time to test elephant pussy. That's all I'm saying.

[Anonymous No.57673373]

>>57672459
i'll go to the federal reserve and give them my message, don't worry guys you don't have to thank me when real estate prices go down in truflation

[Anonymous No.57673383]

Need it.
They linked up?

[Anonymous No.57673385]

Attack the nearest fortified wall

[Anonymous No.57673488]

I'd finally have a friend

[Anonymous No.57673596]

>>57672459
kill the fucker and freeze the meat. there's 450 kg of edible meat in an elephant

[Anonymous No.57673605]

>>57673596
i wonder what elephant brisket tastes like

[Anonymous No.57673651]

I would name it Harold. It will live with me in my house. It shall receive the living room because it will grow quite big, so I need to allocate personal space for it. When it's old enough, we will learn to paint together from Bob Ross. We will spend our days together laughing, playing, and happily creating nature scenes along with Bob on the TV. After this phase we will travel the world together on a hot air balloon that I engineer specifically to hold an elephant. We will visit all major destinations to display our painting ability. "The man and his elephant delight the locals with their paintings" each city newspaper will read. We will become a worldwide phenomenon.

After that? I don't know. We will probably die. And kids will read about us in their history textbooks on a little side note with a photo about the man and his elephant. They will be inspired. Maybe they will receive their own elephant someday.

[Anonymous No.57673680]

>>57673197
I was going to suggest marching on the zionist occupied government

[Anonymous No.57673690]

>>57672459
Enjoy lifelong companionship with my pet elephant

Maybe sell a little elephant milk on the side

[Anonymous No.57673696]

>>57672459

Immediately call a lawyer sue the party that gave me the elephant for violating exotic animal regulations.

[Anonymous No.57673718]

>>57672459
Butcher it for it's meat.
one elephant has enough meat to sustain a man for 25 years.

[Anonymous No.57673736]

>>57672500
that was never 5 feet!

[Anonymous No.57673737]

PROOOOOOH :DD

[Anonymous No.57673746]

>>57672459
I would train it to stomp recruiters that ask stupid questions, and gore their remains in front of their worthless offspring.

[Anonymous No.57673798]

is it a male or female elephant?
this is important

[Anonymous No.57673803]

>>57672459
It's a question to screen for sociopaths.
Sociopaths will realize the cost of maintaining an elephant so they will kill the elephant in some way

[Anonymous No.57673814]

>>57672459
Donate it to an elephant rescue place.

[Anonymous No.57673838]

Glue rubber to it and name him Don

[Anonymous No.57673879]

>>57672553
/thread

[Anonymous No.57673899]

open a zoo

[Anonymous No.57673907]

>>57673814
That's giving it away you idiot.

[Anonymous No.57673915]

>>57672816
he eat da poo poo

[Anonymous No.57673919]

>>57673907
Donation might not be what you think it is, junior.

[Anonymous No.57674149]

>>57673373
Take my message and give it to the fucking jews, tell them that no matter what, JESUS IS KING

[Anonymous No.57674168]

>>57673373
according to truflation, your shill 2 cheap

[Anonymous No.57674219]

>>57672459
>hire whores to have sex with the elephant
>charge people to watch
profit?

[Anonymous No.57674312]

I am actually learning piano right now this can be my reality
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1qQOGCyRbY

[Anonymous No.57674325]

>>57672459
Make it my friend

[Anonymous No.57674356]

Lease it to a zoo. I don't have the infrastructure to take care of an elephant even if I wanted to. Let them exhibit it while paying me 50% of whatever the usual lease agreement on a valuable animal is, in exchange for a stipulation that the same deal applies to any of its offspring had in captivity. Worst case scenario, I get a trickle of passive income. Best case scenario, I've planted the seed of a vast elephant-for-rent empire.

[Anonymous No.57674370]

Rent it out to whoever the fuck wants am elephant for whatever fucking reason and after I've had my fun I'd butcher it and serve elephant steaks to affluent retards in the wealthy part of town. I'm sure they'd pay top dollar for some elephant steaks

[Anonymous No.57674459]

>>57673365
Bad karma

[Anonymous No.57674511]

>>57672477
this, riding it to work was the first thing I thought ;D

[Anonymous No.57674523]

>>57672477
>Reject Modernity, Embrace Tradition

[Anonymous No.57674816]

>>57672583
you got the job kid!

[Anonymous No.57674825]

>>57672477
elephantepe paying dividends

[Anonymous No.57674838]

>>57672459
I'd kill it and freeze all the meat. Wouldn't have to buy any meat for a whole year I'd bet

[Anonymous No.57675138]

>>57672459
Elephants need a ton of food you would go broke if you tried to keep it. Have to butcher it

[Anonymous No.57675167]

Can't give it away or sell it? Fine, I'll trade it for money.

[Anonymous No.57675178]

>>57672692
He's selling elephant cock to faggots, not the beast itself

[Anonymous No.57675204]

>>57672590
Yeah, I really wonder how zoomers don't even consider the obvious "butcher and sell the ingredients to the Chinese" as an option.

[Anonymous No.57675216]

>>57673197
but you never marched, kirkle, you don't have what it takes.
Carthage delenda est

[Anonymous No.57675226]

>>57672459
Train the elephant to stomp on niggers and jews

[Anonymous No.57675231]

>>57673803
Cost is the first thing I thought about but I also think you would have to be a numbskull to not understand that elephants cost a shit ton to care for.

[Anonymous No.57675250]

>>57672459
The obvious answer is to immediately abandon it in a public place. Just nope right out of that situation.

[Anonymous No.57675262]

>>57673803
I was going to say kill it and turn its legs into umbrella stands, but I thought that would sound sociopathic, so I didn't say it. This only screens for stupid sociopaths.

[Anonymous No.57675376]

>>57672459
I'd kill it and sell the meat as baby meat to Hillary Clinton.

[Anonymous No.57675441]

>>57672459
donate it and take the tax writeoff, that way you didn't quite sell it nor gave it away

[Anonymous No.57675442]

>>57672459
I will cross the mountains and wreck Rome
>this answer displays my assertiveness to get shit done, my comedic cleverness, and my knowledge of historical events

[Anonymous No.57675446]

>>57672459
kill the elephant then the king before he kills me

[Anonymous No.57675490]

>>57672459
make friends with the elephant and go into business with him so that he can pay for the food he needs and eventually generate excess capital to improve our prospects in life.
this is a good question because it really asks "how do you handle unwanted but workable circumstances?" in a way that filters retards.

[Anonymous No.57675518]

>>57672459
When life gives you elephants, you make elephant juice

[Anonymous No.57675533]

Can I install a gazebo on it and then attack Gondor?

[Anonymous No.57675544]

>>57672459
Ride it over the alps

[Anonymous No.57675629]

>>57673736
why did this show copy the kitchen from Family Guy?

[Anonymous No.57675634]

>>57673803
So.... the right answer is to say that you will kill it?

[Anonymous No.57675635]

Woman moment so they'd prob fuck it anyway

[Anonymous No.57675641]

>>57672459
Charge people to see the elephant

[Anonymous No.57675643]

>>57672459
milk it?

[Anonymous No.57675656]

>>57672500
Fucking retard, you can't feed an elephant by yourself.
These questions exist to filter out midwits like you.
Your only choice is to euthanasie the elephant.

[Anonymous No.57675734]

>>57672459
Cross the alps

[Anonymous No.57675818]

>>57672459
1) Keep it and make people pay to ride it or feed it. (Risky, if someone gets hurt, you're probably going to be liable.)

OR:

2) Let it free to roam until animal protection services swoop in and take it off your hands.

[Anonymous No.57675821]

>>57672459

Sell it.

[Anonymous No.57675826]

>>57672500
>charge for kids to ride on the elephant
Thought the same but realized a millisecond later that it's a midwit answer. The first kid that gets injured gets you sued into oblivion.

[Anonymous No.57675829]

>>57673171
If you actually read that article you'd know that 90% of that listed cost is bullshit jew insurance. An elephant needs like 40 bucks of food a day and that's it. You can let them graze as well, rent them out to land owners

[Anonymous No.57675831]

>>57675821

>Noooooooo you can't do that!!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.57675836]

>>57675821
>>57675831

Sell.
It.

[Anonymous No.57675840]

>>57672500
riding elephants is animal abuse. Your application has been rejected and HR has forwarded your details to relevant government bodies.

[Anonymous No.57675861]

>>57672477
Imagine the "good morning Saar"s your would get while going to buy your freshly baked morning cowdung cakes

[Anonymous No.57675871]

>>57673282
>>57673349
>>57673879

look everybody, these are reddit posters

[Anonymous No.57676372]

>>57672459
I'd marry it to take advantage of tax breaks and put my assets in my "wifes" name.

[Anonymous No.57676383]

>>57673214
Wtf is that for real?

[Anonymous No.57676385]

>>57672459
I will sell it? Why do I need a fucking elephant for? Can’t feed it, can’t shelter it, can’t pay for its medication.
The fuck?!?

[Anonymous No.57676393]

>>57672459
Oh my bad. Can’t sell or give it away, hmmm.
Hmmm..
Rent it to zoos?
Starve it do death? Leave it in a jungle? Either way, it’s net benefit

[Anonymous No.57676395]

>>57676372
And hire it out as an Oprah Winfrey impersonator as a side hustle.

[Anonymous No.57676409]

>>57672816
if it's india, that's probably the only local water that has no shit particles in it.

[Anonymous No.57676458]

>>57672477
It’s terrible for the elephants back. Riding them in touristy areas in Thailand and such should result in jail.

[Anonymous No.57676552]

>>57672459
But I haven’t been given an elephant

[Anonymous No.57677321]

>>57672477
I will use this beast for war.
It is wise my company decided to give me, Hannibal, an elephant.

[Anonymous No.57677365]

>>57672459

Leave it somewhere in the wild.

[Anonymous No.57677405]

>>57672459
Kill it, I don't have time for this shit

[Anonymous No.57677411]

>>57672459
Honestly just abandon it but thats not the answer they want, they want you to be a cuck they can drop an elephant on and you get fucked and take care of it.

[Anonymous No.57677425]

If you have to do gay employment quizzes instead of immediately getting an interview you're not getting the job.

[Anonymous No.57677438]

>duhhhhhhhrrrrr I'd ride it

/biz/ is full of the most uncreative hivemind pajeets and bugmen

[Anonymous No.57677455]

>>57672600

> Bizarre beer

ehh... no thanks.

[Anonymous No.57677482]

>>57672459
It's illegal to own elephants without a loicense in my country.

[Anonymous No.57677498]

>>57672459
Rent it out to a travelling circus.
WIN ,win. don't have to feed it or house it and get payed too.
Or if you live in India, rent it out to the forestry pajeets to pull timber through the forests.

[Anonymous No.57677988]

the correct answer is that you don't take the elephant. that question is just to proof how heedless or easy you are

[Anonymous No.57677996]

>>57672920
kek

[Anonymous No.57678036]

>>57673651
beautiful
i wish harold was real

[Anonymous No.57678048]

>>57672459
I fuck the elephant for the experience and then put it down humanely by hitting it repeatedly with my Ford Fiesta

[Anonymous No.57678183]

>>57672459
Free it.

[Anonymous No.57678310]

>>57672459
Easy, kill it and store the meat for eating.

[Anonymous No.57678329]

>>57672459
easy, sell it to the zoo, reject arbitrary constraints like this question and the job and start my own business where i dont have to put up with dumb fucks asking me about elephants

[Anonymous No.57678346]

>>57672519
What? No you rent it.

[Anonymous No.57678356]

>>57672459
get some heavy cardstock and sell boomers "shares" of an elephant so they can "say they own an elephant" like that retarded shit where you can buy a 1"x1" "parcel of land" in scotland and get a piece of paper that say's you're landed gentry

[Anonymous No.57678551]

>>57678183
this

[Anonymous No.57679817]

>>57673171
(((Necessary Care)))

[Anonymous No.57680433]

Build him a suit of bulletproof armour and tell him what the zobots did to his predecessor, Tyke

[Anonymous No.57680834]

>>57672590
Was my first thought...

[Anonymous No.57682474]

>>57672488
kek

[Anonymous No.57682527]

>>57674356
This is the only real answer, assuming wildlife authorities don't ask where you got an elephant.

[Anonymous No.57682529]

>>57672459
Lease it to a circus or zoo

[Anonymous No.57682674]

>>57675840
If riding elephants is animal abuse, you better report the husbands of your HR staff to the police.

[Anonymous No.57682730]

>>57682674
there's potential in your joke, try to make it shorter and more insinuating

[Anonymous No.57683330]

>>57672600
>rabid elephant stomps 3 youth poc, owner wanted for questioning.
that's an extreme amount of liability and i don't think bringing in the insurance jew to limit your exposure would keep the operation profitable.

[El Arcón No.57683497]

I would turn the elephant into a collateralized debt obligation.

[Anonymous No.57683733]

[Anonymous No.57683753]

>>57683733
kek

[Anonymous No.57683761]

>>57683733
look at all these midwits trying to discuss the finer points of elephant riding i can guarantee you that all of them are trying to justify why its okay to ride their hr employees wives i'm sorry to break it to you faggots but if riding elephants is animal abuse then so is riding your mom if you want a more detailed response i'll need to be payed a $anon bounty of 02eth now go back to playing with your anime body pillows or jerking off to my little pony cartoons you low iq virgin

[Anonymous No.57683799]

>>57672570
And then wutttt? Then I’m gonna stack some mo!

[Anonymous No.57683838]

>>57672459
Make it the company mascot and sell elephant rides

[Anonymous No.57683852]

I’d probably use that space to go on a rant about how the Jews and niggers control big elephant prices and have it rigged so I can’t get rid of it and I end up in poverty.

[Anonymous No.57684858]

>>57673365
Based Ralph
He's a good earner

>>57674459
But this

[Anonymous No.57686274]

>>57672459
set up an onlyfans and sell pictures of its oiled up and puckered butthole

[Anonymous No.57686306]

Just walk away from the elephant and forget it

[Anonymous No.57686318]

>>57686306
lol what a bunch of faggots with the attention span of retard toddlers they think the elephant is gonna make them money if they just believe in it hard enough meanwhile its costing them money everyday i bet they never even bothered to write off the elephant as business expense on their taxes you have to love how the op thinks he can just walk away from the elephant like its a bad debt the elephant doesn't go away you could try but eventually the tax man catches on and you have to pay for that elephant

[Anonymous No.57686319]

>>57673803
what about the person or thing who forced an elephant on you?
shouldn't they be responsible for the death of the animal?

I would hire a lawyer and seek charges for animal endangerment by leaving an elephant with someone who has no skill or space for such an animal, whole simultaneously getting in touch with the local zoo or animal sanctuary that CAN handle such an animal.
There's no reasonable answer to this bullshit.

[Anonymous No.57686406]

>>57673171
Show the employer this data and demand a raise

[Anonymous No.57686423]

>>57686406
lmao good luck trying to fight the legal system you're probably better off just sucking it up and taking care of the elephant yourself because we all know that the courts are not going to find this other mystery person responsible for abandoning an elephant on you the elephant is now part of your life and you better take care of it or there will be consequences plus if you play your cards right the elephant might actually generate value for you in the future you just need to believe hard enough

[Anonymous No.57686432]

>>57672553
I hope nobody brings that up.