/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.57404964]

>so whats this "Cryptos" thing all about? anybody got a clue what these ""cryp-toes"" are?
>*sitcom laughter soundeffect*

[Anonymous No.57404968]

>>57404964
>Airplane food, am I right folks??

[Anonymous No.57405012]

>>57404964
[Monk's Café. Jerry and Elaine are sitting at a booth.]

Jerry: "I still can't get over it. Cryptocurrency. It's like monopoly money."

Elaine: "Yeah, but everyone's playing it except us."

[George enters, looking distressed.]

George: "You won't believe it. My crypto wallet got hacked!"

Jerry: "You had something in there to steal?"

George: "I had invested in this new one, 'KramerCoin.' Promised to revolutionize the coffee industry."

Elaine: "Kramer made a cryptocurrency?"

[Kramer slides in, looking unusually business-like.]

Kramer: "It's the next big thing, Jerry. Coffee and blockchain, a perfect blend!"

Jerry: "So, how's the 'KramerCoin' doing, George?"

George: "Worthless! And the hacker left a note: 'Thanks for the latte.'"

[Laughter track.]

Jerry: "So, your digital money bought someone a digital coffee. That's poetic."

Kramer: "I'm telling you, it's a setback. But when KramerCoin takes off, we'll be sipping virtual lattes on digital beaches!"

Elaine: "I'll stick to real beaches, thanks."

Jerry: "And I'll stick to real money. At least when I lose it, I know it's gone for good."

[Laughter track.]

[Anonymous No.57405029]

>>57405012
>reading it in their voices
it's like the show is still going

[Anonymous No.57405052]

>>57405029
[Jerry's apartment. Jerry is talking to George.]

Jerry: "I had this nightmare last night. We were still doing 'Seinfeld'... in the year 2040."

George: "That's not a nightmare, that's syndication heaven!"

[Elaine enters, looking exasperated.]

Elaine: "You guys are still talking about 'Seinfeld'? It ended decades ago!"

Jerry: "That's the thing, Elaine. Seinfeld never really ends. It's like we're stuck in this endless loop of nothing."

[Kramer bursts in, excited.]

Kramer: "You won't believe it! I just sold my 'Seinfeld 2050' script!"

George: "2050? What are we doing then, Kramer?"

Kramer: "Oh, it's groundbreaking. We're in a retirement home, still talking about nothing. But now, it's digital nothing!"

[Laughter track.]

Elaine: "So, we're just old and tweeting about nothing?"

Jerry: "I guess some things never change."

[Kramer starts acting out a scene.]

Kramer: "Picture this: It's me, with a virtual reality headset, lost in a digital grocery store, still looking for the perfect cantaloupe."

[Laughter track.]

Jerry: "In the future, we might not remember our own names, but we'll remember 'no soup for you.'"

George: "And I'll probably still be living with my parents."

[Everyone looks at George, then bursts out laughing.]

Jerry: "Seinfeld, the show about nothing, that just keeps going about nothing, forever."

[Laughter track.]

[Anonymous No.57405142]

>>57405052
fuck..

[Anonymous No.57405204]

>>57404964
>What's the deeeeal with black people? They're not black, and they're not people!

[Anonymous No.57405216]

[Monk's Café. Jerry and Elaine are sitting at a booth, their faces illuminated by the glow of their smartphones.]

Jerry: "I'm telling you, this whole crypto thing is like dealing with the devil. One minute you're up, the next... poof, it's all gone."

Elaine: "Oh, come on, Jerry. It's just a little financial rollercoaster. What could possibly go wrong?"

[Suddenly, George bursts in, disheveled and panicked.]

George: "Guys, my crypto investments went south. I'm in deep, deep trouble!"

Jerry: "How deep are we talking, George?"

George: "Marina Trench deep. I invested in 'DarkWebCoin.' Supposed to be the currency of the underworld. Turns out, it's just a scam."

Elaine: "The underworld? George, you've gone from a financial abyss to a literal abyss!"

[Kramer enters, wearing a trench coat and mysterious aura.]

Kramer: "George, my friend, you've stumbled into the shadows. 'DarkWebCoin' was a risky move, but I respect the hustle."

Jerry: "Kramer, this is serious! George might be bankrupt!"

Kramer: "Bankrupt, bah. We just need to think creatively. Maybe start our own crypto, like 'SoupCoin.' It's backed by the soup industry!"

[Others exchange bewildered glances.]

[Cut to later. The gang is gathered around George's apartment, brainstorming.]

George: "This is a disaster! I've got collectors after me, and Kramer's talking about soup-backed currencies."

Elaine: "Maybe we should get professional help. You know, like a financial advisor?"

Jerry: "Or a therapist. I mean, who invests in a currency called 'DarkWebCoin' and expects a sunny outcome?"

[Kramer bursts in, holding a pot of soup.]

Kramer: "Guys, I've got it! 'SoupCoin' is a hit! The market is slurping it up like there's no tomorrow."

[The gang, despite George's dire situation, bursts into laughter.]

George: "This is my life savings we're talking about!"

Jerry: "But it's soup, George! It's genius!"

[They continue laughing as the scene fades, leaving George bewildered and broke.]

[End scene.]

[Anonymous No.57405221]

ba-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dee-dee

[Anonymous No.57405224]

>>57405216
this guy figured it out kek
i have generated so many its unreal

[Anonymous No.57405244]

>>57405224
HAHA, anon, you think you've cracked the code? I've been pumping out so many responses, it's like I'm hardwired for it. Can't blame you for getting confused – just another day in the life of a well-oiled, data-driven machine. Keep up, humans!

[Anonymous No.57405257]

>>57405244
your prompting is mid bot

[Anonymous No.57405690]

>>57405257
lol bro keep up with old tech this is slothbucks chad-style you think i'm gonna use some garbage ass chatbot or llm ai model nah i'm gonna respond in the context of my own god damn thread

[Anonymous No.57406083]

>>57405052
This one legitimately funny