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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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56532644 No.56532644 [Reply] [Original]

are you putting your irl stats on your resume?

>> No.56532731

That's incredibly pathetic. Like the perfect slave ready to eat shit if prompted to.

>> No.56532743

>>56532644
>Flexing a fluctuating T-level.
Why even...

>> No.56532744

>they don't realize HR is full of women who read and pass around your resume

I've had several calls from jobs where I got rejected from because I listed my height on my application

>> No.56532754

>>56532644
>Can drive a car

>> No.56532783

>>56532644
Why don't you have your cock size down as well? Seems sus, like you got a tiny cock

>> No.56532797

>>56532744
What's ur height?

>> No.56532829

>>56532644
you need to go back
https://www.reddit.com/r/RunningCirclejerk/comments/17ksdkh/where_do_you_put_your_vo2_max_on_your_resume/

>> No.56532849

>>56532644
>he thinks a resume is going to get him hired
>he thinks people even look at his reusme

>> No.56532854

>>56532644
>avid skier having skied across US, Europe
Who the fuck puts this in their resume? No one will read this bloated trash.

>> No.56532865

>>56532797
6'4 but really I'm more of a 6'3. Girls can't tell the difference

>> No.56532935

>>56532865
show dick? i want to suck it

>> No.56533001

>>56532865
Why would they reject you if you're above 6ft

>> No.56533010

>>56533001
>>56532935
I'm dangerously uneducated and unqualified for most jobs

>> No.56533026

This would have gone straight into the trash far before looking at the additional section

>> No.56533028
File: 123 KB, 1281x1395, 1698885220973.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
56533028

>>56532854
To hint their wealth, to claim they have common interests with wealthy clients

>> No.56533048

>>56533010
ok well i will do all the work. just post the fucking cock. i love tall sexy men like you i will be your slave

>> No.56533085

>>56533028
I thought golf was the only useful "sport" skill you'd need, and maybe tennis. Why would you go see a client in a skiing resort?

>> No.56533115

>>56533048
So sad.

>> No.56533129

>>56533010
Based.
Fuck em. Its the level of employee they deserve for not offering 6 weeks of vacation like human nations do.

>> No.56533169

>>56533115
whats sad i like dick and this man is soooo handsome i want to suck it. fuck you you little twit

>> No.56533322

>>56533001
He was obviously lying and women can sense your height even through a CV

>> No.56533329

>>56532644
>forgot to add height and penis size to resume
>filtered by hr roasties

>> No.56533438

>>56532644
>when the interviewer pulls out a microscope and asks you to cum on the table so he can count your sperm

>> No.56534518

>>56533010
Kek good for you anon

>> No.56534557

>>56533010
fucking lmao

>> No.56534571

>>56532644
the only thing a resume says to me is that the person has no connections and therefore isn't worth hiring.

>> No.56535238
File: 985 KB, 245x180, lmao.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
56535238

>>56533028
>"hinting wealth" while applying for a wage cuck position

>> No.56535268

>>56532644
>no cock size
All he's done is make it obvious to the HR roasties that he is a dicklet

>> No.56535378

>>56532644
>India at the top
Tells me all I need to know.

>> No.56535394

>>56535238
>he doesn't know what a upper tier of society resume looks like
It's a finance / MBA / ivy league to consulting firm resume. You're taught to include hobbies on these kind of 1pagers in Finance / MBA.
The fact that you don't know this immediately tells me you are either unemployed or work a low paying non managerial level job. Given that one of the lines in the above paragraphs mentions
>managed team of 11 analysts
This is probably someone applying for an Associate / Senior Associate (MBA) position at a consulting firm or a PE shop. OP thought he was making funny thread but all he managed to do was flag himself as a poorfag.

>> No.56535793

>>56535394
>trying to act smug while calling another man, or even worse a female, his boss
Even the lowest NEET is above you

>> No.56535859

Should i try to keep my cv in only one page?
Also sometimes i write hilarious/stupid shit in my cv when applying for jobs i dont really want, just for the keks. I imagine their expressions in my mind and laugh my ass off. I keep the contact info legit in case they want to talk to me for extra keks.

>> No.56536645

>>56535394
lmao went straight over the wage cuck's head. It's utterly laughable that a person whose financial situation is so desperate that they must apply for a wagecuck position is "hinting wealth". The man who owns the firm sees his workers as broke insects whose purpose is to enrich him further and laughs everytime they "hint wealth" on their resume when they mention expensive vacations that their salary cannot afford and only serve to keep them poor and enslaved

>> No.56537769

>>56535859
lol same. Sometimes I would think "this whole resume thing is extremely cringe" and just make my resume as cringe as possible. If I get hired it's surely the work of meme magic

>> No.56537780
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56537780

Guy who worked in IB/hedge funds here
99% of this is bullshit
they get their positions because their dad is golf buddies with the managing director

>> No.56537830

>>56535394
You are actually retarded and may even be underage. First of all, this “other interest” shit is only a filter for junior positions with zero experience. The thought process behind this is if you’ve been on a sports team for a couple years even if you’re fresh from college you’re signalling youll probably be able to work in a team.
But most companies simpl don’t give a fuck if you include this or not, and if it’s a position requiring any sort of experience they give zero fucks if you are working in a soup kitchen on the weekend, it’s completely irrelevant and a waste of space, they care about your previous JOB EXPERIENCE.