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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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559212 No.559212 [Reply] [Original]

Hey /biz/

How the fuck do you get a job? Everything i find requires at least 1+ years of experience within their respective fields.

I'm a student on holiday, but have to get a full time job or else my jew of a step mother will convince my Dad to kick my ass out.

The jobs that don't require experience say that they require people who have "excellent communication skills" (not me).

Am i better off just faking a talkative personality and trying to get the job that way, /biz/.

Pic related is one of my favorite pictures, and is all i can offer you.

Thanks in advance

>> No.559224

>>559212

lie on your resume

fake it till you make it

>> No.559225

>>559224
cheers mate

>> No.559251

There is a disconnect between hiring and applicants.

Hiring people think deeply about the position, then put up a description that sounds incredible while listing an ideal set of criteria for the potential employee. The company wants these qualifications, but knows they might not get it. This is only amplified when going through recruiters, who increase the requirements, experience, etc to get an even more perfect candidate.

Applicants are intimidated by the list and don't want to be embarrassed by applying and interviewing for something they might be extremely unqualified for. Instead, they apply for jobs with lower requirements and indirectly lower their odds, because they are now competing against hundreds of other passive, skill-less people afraid to apply for things they aren't qualified for.

Fake it until you make it is correct. EVERYTHING is experience if you can word it correctly and back it up in an interview. Get good at acting and learn on your feet. Look at the job description and directly tailor a resume and cover letter to it. If you are lucky, you will have 2 interviews. On the first interview, make sure to remember anything you can't answer. Come up with an answer for the second interview. Demonstrate that you learned

None of this will help you if you are an awkward, anti-social degenerate though. You have to fake that you aren't.

>> No.559256

Just get into sales.

>> No.559260

Lie and say you did an landscaping gig for a year under the table cause the construction company needed people or some shit. Lie mah nigga

>> No.559313

>>559251
>>559256
>>559260
Thanks guys. Sorry about my late reply, had some family over.

Fuck it's embarrassing telling them i've done absolutely nothing but stay on my computer for the last 10 days

>> No.559315

>>559251
This, give yourself sociopathy

>> No.559341

>>559251
This is quite literally how people game USAJOBS.gov

Shit, you can copy paste parts of the job description into your resume and get an interview with this method.

>> No.559368

>>559341
Please explain.

>> No.559373

>>559341
I'm from New Zealand mate, but I think that general principle will still be just as, if not more, applicable here.

My problem is i'm looking for full time (40 hour weeks) just from ASAP to about the start of march. No such luck unfortunately

>> No.559416

>>559212

Gonna hafta ask for sauce on pic.

>> No.559422
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559422

>>559416
I don't know mate :(

Got it off /fit/ though, try reverse searching it.

Another neat picture

>> No.559437

>>559212
>>559422

>Asians with fat asses.

Muh dick has transcended the mortal plane.

>> No.560272

I'm in a similar situation to OP and this thread seemed to give decent answers.

What jobs/industries are super easy to get into at an entry-level position? I'd like to get some sort of job where I can just do some solitary grunt work and have that income whilst I try to better myself.

>> No.560319
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560319

>>560272
>What jobs/industries are super easy to get into at an entry-level position?
Any industry that is rapidly growing/expanding.
>solitary grunt work and have that income whilst I try to better myself.
Secretarial stuff like reception?

>> No.560323

>>560319

>Any industry that is rapidly growing/expanding.

Such as?

>reception?
>solitary

m8

>> No.560332

>>560323
>solitary
I misread. Try security. Expect to be bored shitless if you don't have a little something to keep your sanity with you.

>> No.560336

>>559212
Knowing people. I have 2 jobs of work experience unrelated to the seasonal job I got at a store called Things Remembered in the mall. Minimum wage ($9), and 9 hours a week, but it is better than sitting at home being a pile of shit.

On the plus side I'm forced to dress "classy" but ladies actually check me out since they think I'm some swagfag.

Anyways, knowing people gets you hired. I was no exp in search of any job and got one because of family member. I got this new job because of a friend who works there. And a random guy got the job there because, he too, knew someone.

>> No.560368

>>560332

Well I gave it a look, security is impossible without going through licensing. Also gave the fastest growing industries a browse, seems they're all specialised fields.

>> No.560375

>>560368
>Well I gave it a look, security is impossible without going through licensing.

Check out TSA The job may be shit but at least its entry level government employment.

>> No.560377

>>560375

I'm in Australia, not the US. But I'll keep an eye on airport jobs. Thanks for the tip.

>> No.560383

>>560368
jsut looking into this? they charge 165 here to get the guard card..but if ound a site that chargers 14.99 for the class then you pay 65 dolla for the background chech and i think that is it? does any anon have the 411 on this/

>> No.560649

>>560377

Ausfag here. The fake it till you make it guys are right on. A few years ago when I was pretty bummed about work I sent my resume to a few recruiters, and then applied for shit jobs. One of the recruiters landed me a job on over $100K. A good 30K more than what I'd ever gotten in a previous position. She was good at selling shit, but I realised then it IS about faking it man.

Good options in Aus atm:

- Government contractors.
- Retail banks. Particularly if you're a chinky-poo, the retail banks are looking for Mandarin/Chinese speakers for customer service roles.
- Talk to recruiters. Hays, Michael Page etc. They're usually shit, but they might be able to pull something out of their behinds for you.
- Depending on your degree look for office assistant work in a small local firm. Law student? Cold call small local firms for paralegal work. Etc.
- Worst case, put yourself on the Woolies/Coles registries and go to the Maccas online recruitment site
- Consider joining the army. If you're an engineer they'll pay for the rest of the degree, give you a salary while you study, give you direction, and give you the skills to find something decent down the track.

>> No.560988

>>560649

Much obliged good anon. I did have a look at the army but I wouldn't have a hope at passing the fitness requirements at this stage.

I'll definitely check out those other things. Also I'm not in uni yet. I figured I'd work for a while so I can decide what I want to do, then I got caught up in all this nonsense.

>> No.561454

I'm too drunk to reply atm but i'll your guys reponses in the morning. t=/thanks!

>> No.561634

>>559212

Nobody has identified dat ass yet?

>> No.561644

>>559224
>be applying for shitty warehosue job driving a forklift
>they call everyone on my resume and then ask for each of them to prove they and I work where I said we did

Good thing I didnt lie. I gave them my old bosses personal number (because its the easiest way to reach him) and the background check company said he would need to call them back from the office phone to prove he actually works there and itsnt some random dude.