/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.55899999]

>Apply for job
>30min introductory call with recruiter roastie on why I want to work for them and what I'm looking for
>Hour long first round interview involving a 10 minute shit test to assess how much humiliation you can take
>After the interview a 10+ pager workbook test is sent over to your email address requiring your knowledge in multiple coding languages as well as cirtical thinking and problem solving to gauge your knowledge in different areas
>2nd round hour long interview to assess how you did on your lengthy test and while you solved many of the problems there are a few concerns regarding your problem solving capabilities which is why we'd like to undercut your salary request, sorry as the team leader I'd also like to bring up some examples that I was thinking about on my 2,5 weeks vacation which is why this interview is going take over 2 hours hope you have the time
>3rd round of interview to see if you have finally caved in to accept the lowball offer we've previouslymade also an introductory meeting with the team you'd be joining so please tell them why you'd really like to work with us and what you bring to the table
>4th round call from recruiter roastie the offer was withdrawn as we've found somebody else who was better suited for our needs but thanks for playing :)

[Anonymous No.55900037]

>>55899999
skill issue, also checked quints of quitting

[Anonymous No.55900134]

>>55900037

[Anonymous No.55900409]

>>55899999
don't apply for jobs, do some networking instead

[Anonymous No.55900497]

>>55899999
CHECKED
JOBS ARE DEFINITELY DONE FOR NOW

[Anonymous No.55900534]

>>55899999
Fucking kek
It’s normal now for jobs to include a mandatory humiliation ritual while under paying you. You’re literally signing up to be their slave boy to get money that’s not even real

[Anonymous No.55900557]

>>55899999
>i deserve 180K for being a codemonkey because.. I just do OK!!

[Anonymous No.55901022]

>>55900557
Was asking for way less

[Anonymous No.55902585]

When I apply for side jobs, I'm picky about who I work for. I can always tell if I'm being tested by a dickhead. I've straight asked the manager/ interviewer "am I going to work with you?", Before saying "not interested" and hanging up / leaving interviews. I once flew all the way to Virginia in the middle of winter to interview for sourcefire, only to be treated like a retard and left on the spot. I have dignity and pride.

[Anonymous No.55903185]

>>55902585
Sorry that happened to you anon, but you gained valuable experience from it. Just like I did. I'm never ever going through this kind of ordeal for just a shitty SWE position at a literal who company where they act like they're in fortune 500.

[Anonymous No.55903251]

>>55899999
>>55900557
>muh coding
>muh codemonkey
None of you people have any idea what kind of work actually gets done in this industry lol

Anyone who refers to it as "coding" has some retarded idea that everyone is just sitting in front of 20 monitors and typing really fast trying to hack into the matrix or something.

>DUDE I CAN WRITE A HELLO WORLD PROGRAM
No one gives a shit. Software engineers are called such because they design entire systems. There is so much more that goes into that than simply "coding." In fact the higher up you go in your career the less programs you write.

[Anonymous No.55903314]

>>55899999
Oh, anon, you forgot about the psychiatric eval/personality test masquerading as application questions that usually takes 1-2 fucking hours to complete and which theyre more than likely selling to data companies after they dont hire you.

For minimum wage McJobs no less.

[Anonymous No.55903339]

Bros, I think we're entering a new era where the concept of "work" no longer exists. People are deluded into thinking AI and top-tier jeets are only taking white collar jobs, but sooner than we think, they'll find a way to automate all blue collar jobs including the tricky ones like plumbing. Ever hear of machines? Ever hear of robots?

Welcome...to a Brave New World.

[Anonymous No.55903353]

>>55899999
Checkkkkked

[Anonymous No.55904158]

>>55899999
All i get are emails.

>While we where impressed with your qualifications, we regret to inform you that we will not be moving you forward in the hiring process.

[Anonymous No.55904775]

>>55899999
it's a nightmare.

[Anonymous No.55905409]

Learn to drive a 50ft truck and make the same wage and never speak to another human being besides your dispatch and hook up tech. Oh and your competition is basically alcoholics you are better than that right?

[Anonymous No.55905470]

>tfw i clean toilets for the government
all i had to do was pass a background check and put up with ~a year of playing substitute til i got my permanent placement. no fuss, no muss, just show up, clean the toilets and leave to do it all over again tomorrow

+insured to the gills and a pension plan
and i pretty much can't get fired as long as im not breaking any laws

it's only $50k a year, but it's as cake as cake gets

[Anonymous No.55905493]

>have to make a PowerPoint to introduce myself and my “hobbies”
FUCK HR

[Anonymous No.55905527]

>>55904158
Fucking lucky kike. I only get an email rejection 5% of the time. Most of the time these subhuman HR whores don’t even respond to applications

[Anonymous No.55905835]

>>55903339

I got to read that book.

[Anonymous No.55906441]

>>55905493
>hello everyone im anon
>my hobbies are hating women and niggers on online forums

[Anonymous No.55907582]

>>55899999
So it's about 4 hour for the whole dial and it takes on average 9 interviews to get a job; for a sum total of 36 hours, let's rounds up to 40 hours(applying and such).
How long does it takes to watch some online course, produce some random digital product and find a way to sell it?

[Anonymous No.55908114]

>>55903339
>robots
Lmao

[Anonymous No.55909469]

>>55908114
>clean it up wagie!

[Anonymous No.55909589]

>>55899999
>10+ pager workbook test
Any generic test giving during an interview process is a red flag. Do not even bother. Leave the test blank, or just walk away. You aren't missing anything, trust me.
>>55902585
>I left on the spot. I have dignity and pride.
So fucking based.
>>55903185
>I'm never ever going through this kind of ordeal for just a shitty position
Based.
>>55903314
>you forgot about the psychiatric eval/personality test masquerading as application questions that usually takes 1-2 fucking hours to complete
Walk away.

[Anonymous No.55909635]

>>55900409
>Bro just make friends and meet people who are in prominent positions who can get you a job bro

Not everyone has luxury of Jewish nepotism

[Anonymous No.55910159]

>>55899999

[Anonymous No.55910206]

>>55905470
WHY IS this a win for you?

[Anonymous No.55910360]

>>55905470
How and where do I find a job like this? I really want to get out of doing technical work and find something easy.

[Anonymous No.55910922]

>>55910360
"Maintenance Technician" is what you're looking for. Have a pulse? You're in! Basically unfireable unless you're caught drinking on the job - and even then, they'll probably pull you aside and say "Hey man - Please don't do that again. Alright?".

They need people bad and it's an easy 50k to change lightbulbs for a living.

[Anonymous No.55911422]

>>55910922
Sounds great. Did you find this position on the usual normie job boards, or some government site? Do you have to be on-call ever? My house is paid off and my monthly expenses are really low, so I don't need a high salary to live. I just want an easy job so I can reclaim free time in my life

[Anonymous No.55911563]

>>55903251
>Software engineers are called such because they design entire systems
Oh look another Dunning Krueger retard who larps like he knows how the industry works.
The designs get done by architects.
Now get back to your school work, zoomie.

[Anonymous No.55912569]

>>55899999
Nice gets. Final Fantasy style. Personally just got done with a hirevue interview. Twas misery.

[Anonymous No.55912579]

>>55909635
It really depends wherr you are. I used to do real estate in south florida and made good connections with people who were worth knowing. I live in Tucson now and it is most certainly not the same.

[Anonymous No.55912594]

>>55902585
You can act like this IF you have skills worth having

[Anonymous No.55912598]

>>55900134
>>55901022
>>55903185
I understand, I wouldn’t hire a toxoplasmosis haver catposter like you. Go back to plebbit

[Anonymous No.55912612]

>>55911563
Aren't you literally the guy who thinks SWE is just "coding" by typing really fast in front of 20 monitors?

[Anonymous No.55912615]

>>55905493
Can you show us? In the mood for schadenfreude. Obviously don't dox yourself.

[Anonymous No.55912637]

>Checked

[Anonymous No.55912658]

I got fired from my last job at a gas station after four days of working. Everyone complained I was too slow and that I should take adrenaline. It's sad because they didn't give me time to improve, the boss wanted me to be a slave and learn during off the job hours. Now I'm too demotivated to find work again even when my current amount of money on me is $200.

[Anonymous No.55912690]

>>55899999
5 9s, nice.

You have options to use tactics to reduce the pressure here. The best one you can use is, IMO, to makd the organisation sell itself to you.

Most recruiters, in particular first line, don't know too much about the actual role. So ask them questions only the hiring manager would be able to answer.

Also, have multiple processes running at the same time, and tell them. Build what sales would call "fake scarcity" and remember to do this charmingly.

Talk to the person. Meaning, ask them personal questions.

What's great about working here? What's not so great about working here?

Remember: You're interviewing the organisation just as much as they're interviewing you.

Also remember: It's a candidate's market. Corporations will tell you it's not, but they're wrong. Globalization and working from home means you could work for a German multinational in fucking Spain. Remember that.

For network building, connect with the profile of people (persona) you'd like to work for. In my case, artistically inclined e-commerce directors, ideally at language barriers for German and English, and maybe a couple more. I xan be useful for them.

Tell them that in a short and sweet Linkedin message. Ask for a coffee, be nice, curious, tell them upfront you're networking because you're looking for exactly a person like them to work for.

And then, the biggest hacks of them all:

Make them laugh.

Use pauses as your main stylistic tool in conversation. Leave the last sentence unsaid.

And you'll win.

[Anonymous No.55912700]

>>55912612
Aren't you the zoomie who should get back to their school work?

[Anonymous No.55912723]

>>55899999

You're doing it wrong Giving the HR roastie all the power / leverage.

Get pissed off at my new sales manager. Been with the company for 5 years and made good money, but need to line up job before fucking off.

>Call up company I want to work for
>"who the fuck are you?"
>"I'm anon, I work for your competitor in sales and want to work for you. "
>"wait, how'd you get my cell number?"
>"dude, I'm in high level sales give me some credit. Here are my numbers for the past four years?"
>'"lol. that makes sense. we don't really need somebody right now, but I' always looking for sales talent for the future"
>"understood. I'm just prospecting now because I want to make a move, and you are my first call. I don't want to make it personal with my current employer, but I'm highly motivated to make them see what they're going to lose by helping you win".
>"this your cell? I need to talk to somebody and can I call you tomorrow?"
>"Sure. look forward to it.


1/2

[Anonymous No.55912731]

>Next day 8am get the call from the actual sales manager of the new company. "HI anon, I did some background on you and definitely am interested."
>we talk for about 15 minutes about the industry, with a little shit talking of current big players / customers in the industry. Guy likes me immediately.
>SM:" So what you want for money? I don't know exactly what you're currently making
>me: "straight commission on sales, no base + healthcare bennies for the, but I want to be uncapped. double commissions on new customers in my first 6 months.
>SM: " we don't normally do no base / uncapped because most sales guys don't want it? good years and bad years and all that"
>me: "I want you to see I'm low risk to you at the beginning, but also the rewards for me are based on that. Sound fair?"
>SM: I'll talk to HR and see what we can do. When can you start?
>me: "I need to give 2 weeks, but considering the level of technical knowledge and me going to a competitor I'm certain they won't let me back in the building the second I give my notice. So like next week to give me a few days to tie up loose ends?

Get call later that afternoon with virtually everything I asked for with some minor haggling. Fuck the process. Every executive I know got their position via DIRECT conversation with a competitor or company executive.


2/2

[Anonymous No.55912762]

>>55912690
This is good advice. Fuck the HR roasties. Go for the REAL decision makers.

You anons have no idea how the corporate world works. HR is an asset to the managers who run the business. If the business manager says "I WANT ANON!!" everything the HR manager says to you has to happen first doesn't matter.

Go to the DECISION maker for any job worth doing!!!

[Anonymous No.55912984]

>>55912731
Did your parents raise you to be this based or do you take modafinil and coke?

[Anonymous No.55912994]

>>55912700
no

[Anonymous No.55913006]

>>55912658
On the one hand I feel bad for you, on the other hand some mexican lady at the grocery store checkout lane was going way too slow the other day and I wish she didn't work there lol

[Anonymous No.55913027]

>>55912731
>Sales
Shit tier job

[Anonymous No.55913035]

>>55912658
First impresssions man. People can be very quick to rip the new guy to shreds if they don't like his vibe.

[Anonymous No.55913370]

>>55911422
This is where I am hopefully headed before 40

[Anonymous No.55913427]

Good thread. There are Losers, Clueless Idiots, and Psychopaths. The Losers play the hiring game, and follow all the rules. The Clueless Idiots get by through nepotism, or being in the right place at the right time. They don't mind the game, and have a high shit tolerance. The Psychopaths play the game, bend the rules, and go after more and more power.

[Anonymous No.55913498]

>>55908114
based as fuck robot. this is what he thinks about the task you've given him.

[Anonymous No.55913511]

>>55913498
He even throws himself down on the ground at the end and goes to sleep to show you how boring he thinks your job is. Love it

[Anonymous No.55913546]

>>55912984
I was a total introverted engineer with little ambition.
My dad was loving but totally passive, shy beta who married the first woman he fucked.
My mom was a loving trad mom who taught me to be nice to everybody.
None of that served me well in engineering as I was underpaid and overlooked for promotion due to my introversion. Started looking around at who was "winning" in life and my industry and found the top sales guy who made mad bank. Asked him to mentor, but knew I had to give to get so I went above and beyond on his projects so he loved me.
He became my mentor and taught me everything about sales, people, frame control, how to get what you wanted out of business. What I was most taken with was his total contempt for management or the company at large. Even more so, the more contemptuous he was of the company the more the company gave him money, little rules and freedom to sell. After 2 years, I walked into my engineering managers office and said I wanted to go into sales and my mentor was backing me. He fought back a little, but saw I wasn't really asking, I was telling. Got my first sales role in a shit market, with shit prior performance of other sales guy and with my mentors help I was #3 in my first year (sales team of 20+) and #2 behind him in my second year. The rest was history.
As with most top sales guys, he retired early and wealthy and I still connect with him when I need some ideas.

The most important thing I can tell you about sales is that NEVER lose sight of the fact that what you do in sales is THE most important part of thats companies business. No exceptions. Do NOT let the client treat you like shit. Ever.

[Anonymous No.55913548]

>>55905409
That job is currently being circled by foreigners (cheap labor) and automation. I worked in intermodel before and all of the jb hunt drivers were European slave labor. The only thing saving driver wages are unions, but how much longer will that last? How will your job that pays well stay in business when its competitors can drastically cut costs by paying a fraction of the wages to its workers? It's an all race to the bottom like everything else in globalism.

[Anonymous No.55913593]

I used to work multiple jobs from home and was making more money than I knew what to do with. Eventually I burned out and had a nervous break and got fired from all of them within a few days span of each other. I fumbled the bag badly bros

[Anonymous No.55913802]

>>55913593
It's almost like sprinting for a mile will tire you out. Better to make $100,000k for 4 years and keep your sanity than make $200,000 for 2 and lose your mind.

[Anonymous No.55914555]

>>55899999
checked, kill all roasties

[Anonymous No.55914626]

>>55912731
I want to have sex with her

And also to have a lot of money

[Anonymous No.55914671]

>>55899999
Get used to it fgt

[Anonymous No.55914780]

>be web developer
>hate company im at and feel hopeless cause its been 6 years since i was at another place
>decide i will try to freelance
>join discord groups related to what I know
>start reaching out to people
>getting responses, but nothing to pay bills
>need job
>go to a ton of websites of companies who work with the tools I do
>email them all with a short intro and my resume
>get some responses
>a couple very interested
>get job offer at cool place
>all those freelance people from months ago start contacting me
>do freelance on the side
>making decent money now and working 100% remote
>will put it into BTC when it dumps more

it's pretty easy to find wage slavery. just need some skills and can't be too autistic

[Anonymous No.55914957]

>>55899999
I'm really not cut for all this jewish/roastie humiliation ritual. I didn't apply for a job in over a decade, but i wouldn't even manage to succeed step 1.
30min call with a psycho whore who probably think herself as better than anyone else, even though she's the lowest of the low mankind has to offer? HAHAHA FUCK NO
I'd insult this bitch and threaten her to death after minute 6.

[Anonymous No.55914978]

>>55899999