2 jobs at the same company?

[Anonymous No.55738170]

I recently interviewed with two different teams at the same company and ended up getting offers from both. They seem to have no idea.

Unfortunately both are fully in office. But I did some digging and found that they are in the same building on different floors.

My plan is to tell my managers that I have IBS so I can pretend to be on the shitter when actually I am working on the other floor.

Anyone tried something like this?

[Anonymous No.55738198]

Kek

[Anonymous No.55738226]

>>55738170
Please, PLEASE carry this out and report back with a weekly log

[Anonymous No.55738303]

>>55738170
Honestly depends on how many meetings you’d have and their IT infrastructure

[Anonymous No.55738321]

Holy shit I unironically was seen by this dude yesterday fucking kek, actually was helpful and wasn't wearing his mask.

[Anonymous No.55738345]

>>55738170
>hmm thats weird you seem to already have an account
Bad idea

[Anonymous No.55738491]

>>55738170
This is a larp but it wouldn’t work because of the employee management system would already show you as an employee from one of the hires and it would conflict. Leading to HR knowing. Quality bait though I replied

[Anonymous No.55740360]

Based

[Anonymous No.55740378]

>>55738170
a vaccinated bald manlet speccel with monke ears
a pentagram of genetic inferiority

[Anonymous No.55740422]

>>55738170
bro they have the same hr and employee database, how can you be this dumb? try something remote like data entry or something

[Anonymous No.55740454]

Like a hybrid role? I do something with my company involving account management. It's one half sales, the other half customer support.

[Anonymous No.55740698]

>>55738170
I don't think it's possible to get any more teenager than those teenagers.

[Anonymous No.55740709]

>>55738170
When you put in your info, change your middle initial for one of them. And your address. Say you're twins who live near each other like the Property Brothers, your parents thought it would be funny to give you both the same name.

[Anonymous No.55740720]

>>55738345
>>55738491
>>55740422
See >>55740709

[Anonymous No.55740728]

>>55738170
>mexican kids in the background are taller than him
Holy fuck, how do these dysgenic retards not kill themselves, the clinging to leftoid police state ideology must be some sort of cope.

[Anonymous No.55741009]

>>55740728
lmao, same thoughts. pic angle makes him look like he's 4'4, actual dwarf shit

[Anonymous No.55742627]

>>55738170
Do it, OP. Take *BOTH* jobs. Produce results. By the time corporate figures anything out, you'll've proven yourself.

If you can juggle both while working effectively at both, *and* also apply for a third, much higher-paying position far above what anyone else thinks you're qualified for, you will impress the hell out of whomever's really in charge of whatever firm you move to as Senior Manager In Charge Of Everything or whatever.

This is like some sort of comedy movie or sitcom situation that you'll be able to look back on and tell the story of to your fellow shareholders at the country club after playing golf all day.

Do it do it do it do it do it.

Do it shamelessly. Do it guiltlessly. Do it because it helps you and the company immeasurably. It proves that most of the job postings are bullshit, non-productive wage-sinks. Show them.

Show them you can do *anything* & *everything* all at once. You will become a legend. Just make sure of three things:

>avoid hr like a masked vaxxie avoids purebloods

>set "traps" so that if you ever get fired, the department that fires you goes to hell, sort of deadman switches or whatever, which only *you* have the means to solve/remove

>smoothly schmooze with the true chads at your job -- the highest tier of corporate oversight -- and get them to like you way more than the filthy pigs at hr (this should be easy)

Remember: if you don't do this, you're a spineless, sniveling wageslave, and deserve nothing.

Do this and become the hero YOU deserve.

[Anonymous No.55742664]

>>55742627
Also:

It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

Asking permission guarantees denial; they will say "NO."

Asking forgiveness guarantees praise; they will say "you weren't supposed to do that, but you did it anyway, and it made our company a lot of money, so it's better that you never told us what you were doing, because this way we can take the credit but none of the blame, and you're now promoted because of your courageous zeal, YES, welcome to Senior Management!"

Best part is, unlike permission, forgiveness is only sought *after* they catch you, *if* they even catch you. We're talking byzantine bullshit here, with department heads shuffling out every few weeks, all kinds of stuff lost in the shuffle, "people" just trying to cover their own scams and shortcomings, too busy to bother doing due diligence for the company (at their expense) when they're better off just burying everyone's questionable practices under mountains of camouflage.

[Anonymous No.55743635]

>>55738170
fucking brilliant. fully support it. what can they even do when they 'find out' something they should have known to begin with. worst case they probably catch theyre processing you twice when they do your w2 and just put you in one job.

[Anonymous No.55743646]

>>55738321
Gross he shedded spike on you

[Anonymous No.55743849]

>>55738226
>ibs
>weekly log
anon, i...