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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

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54561051 No.54561051 [Reply] [Original]

>daily standup

>> No.54561061

>hourly review

>> No.54561071

>minutely checkup

>> No.54561075

>monday morning meeting with a wednesday morning follow-up from monday

>> No.54561082

I always start them off with a round of good mornings.
every subsequent GOOD MORNING is louder.
my coworkers stopped saying good morning after a month.

>> No.54561085

>weekly paycheck

>> No.54561137

>annual salary

>> No.54561168

hi I was told about this board from reddit that you guys may be able to help me so myy coworker "Beth" actually has a psychologist condition where she actually passes gas twice ever 15 mins any advice helps your friend Todd

>> No.54561198

>>54561168
oh yea, just ask her to chew her food more thoughtfully.
people fart is methane, and methane forms in the small intestine if it not open surface area, like a ball, that surface area doesn't break down and creates methane.

>> No.54561478
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54561478

>>54561051
>burndown chart
>scrum ritual
Kill me

>> No.54561569

>quarterly deliverables promised to business and customers
>daily standups and hourly meetings to figure out how to backlog 80% of the promised deliverable into next quarter's promise
agile!

>> No.54561597

>>54561051
>quarterly review
>QA
>spin-up
>pow-wow
>leadership

>> No.54561744

>weekly Friday meeting to talk about safety for forty mins.

>> No.54561756

>Weekly mandatory dick length inspections

>> No.54561900

>scroll through basket weaving forums during said standups

>> No.54561959

>Bi-weekly semen volume quota

>> No.54562010

>punchlist
>de-staffing curve

>> No.54562340

>>54561051
Standing up once a day to stretch your legs is a good thing anon

>> No.54562392

>>54561756
Its rigged, they never account for girth.

>> No.54562569

I'm attending mine from bed this morning.

>> No.54562593

>>54562392
>tfw thin penis

>> No.54562630

>>54561051
>Does anyone want to start us off today?

>> No.54562641

>>54561051
I am a PM, my daily standup lasts 6 hours.

>> No.54562642

>>54562630
No.

>> No.54562686

>CEO joins and adds a minimum extra 15 minutes to a meeting that should only take 5

EVERY. TIME.

>> No.54562717

>>54562686
Best part is when he's late and everyone needs to explain things they already said to him, meanwhile he doesn't need to know and isn't involved in the thing being worked on.

>> No.54562740
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54562740

>>54562686
>meeting about to end early
>fucking retard decided to ask retarded question they barely know how to word
>meeting takes an extra 10 mins at least
Every single time.

>> No.54562756
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54562756

>>54562717

Everything he says is literally a reiteration of what had already been covered

>> No.54562802
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54562802

>Submit at-home web browser history for activity during business hours

>Install Company Adware on your PC to remotely monitor your screen "only during business hours"

>Chat icon activity monitor, penalty for lengthy inactive sessions

Please just let me do my job - I'm going to have it done by the deadline.

>> No.54562814

>>54562802
>Submit at-home web browser history for activity during business hours
You actually have to do this?

>> No.54562834

>>54562802
please tell me youre joking

why do you even work on your private computer

>> No.54562881
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54562881

>people in IT as glorified secretaries with higher salaries than developers with absolutely no IT knowledge

>> No.54562904

>>54562881
The developers are too fucking autistic to not have a designated wrangler.

>> No.54562925

>>54562881
code monkeys eternally btfo

>> No.54564109

>yesterday i did my work. today i'm gonna continue to do my work

>> No.54564993
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54564993

>Agile metrics review

>> No.54565384
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54565384

>Sprint Retrospective
>If our last sprint were an fruit which would it be?

>> No.54565476
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54565476

>I have no updates for today

>> No.54565668

>>54565384
kek

>> No.54567715

>>54562593
>tfw top of penis is one color and the bottom is another due to God making a horrible mistake and giving me a foreskin, thankfully they had just the solution for that