/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.5393416]

The year is 2025.

I woke up at exactly 6:00. I need no alarm clock. Two women woke me by sucking my cock.
I gave 0.000001 BZC to each of the women as a tip. Three women helped me into the shower,
all while caressing me and drooling at my Bazingacoin wallet. They also came instantly after
seeing my balance.

I left my 50 acre mansion and got in my gold-plated 2030 Lamborghini Murcielago (custom made for me after the dealer saw my BZC)
and another one of my bitches was waiting in the passenger seat. She was in the car all night, because she couldn't sleep without
me having penetrated her. She hopped on me and started riding my dick while I squeezed her tits and drove with my knees. In a whim,
I arrived at the gym. I threw the bitch off me, and she quickly returned to the passenger seat, where she would sit until I got back.
When I got out the car, I flexed. My bulging, huge, muscles ripped my Gucci shirt off, and six women lined up. We had an orgy,
which didn't last too long. Each woman climaxed when my cock came within five inches of her pussy, and went into an eternal state of euphoria after seeing my Bazingacoin wallet.
I came, and transferred .00000000001 BZC to each of the women.

After benching seven hundred kilograms, I squatted four hundred kilograms. I started doing my 100 laps,
but I got a phone call. It was a conference call with nineteen supermodels. They orgasmed after hearing my voice.
My bitch in the car was getting lonely, so I went back. She sucked me off as I took the drive back home.
I left her in the car, transferred .000000001 BZC to her, opened the diamond-encrusted knob and went inside.

[Anonymous No.5393486]

>>5393416
The year is 2017

This pasta still isn't funny and people still aren't going to buy Bazingacoin because that is literally the dumbest fucking name for a coin ever and the big bang theory is an unbearable joke

[Anonymous No.5393787]

>>5393416
The year is 2018.

All Pajeets have been wiped out and India has been cut off from the Internet Root Servers. Suddenly, the rancid, shit-filled air began to lift as the number of Pajeets relying on the internet to survive approached zero.

[Anonymous No.5394005]

>The year is 2025
>My neural network verifies my CVC biometrics & links me into my Occulus 4.0
>I re-enter my digital mansion in Genesis city
>List my AF69-Sunstrider Personal Spacecraft on BitBay for 50M
>Check my Golem-run personal AI
>She tells me that my digital rent has come in, 500k MANA this week.
>MANA has been sitting steady at 25k Satoshi’s, since District0x police had eliminated all digital crime in Genesis City.
>All digital crime are held on public trial in the Aragon court-house
>Physical Crime is not possible.
>Think I'll gamble some of my rent money.
>All internet gambling is now run exclusively on the Funfair platform.
>Teleport to the Genesis City FunFair Casino
>Outside I tip some digitally-destitute Arklet some DGB so he doesn't starve
>Welcome back sir, VIP lounge this way.
>Atomic swap this week’s rent income into FUN.
>Put it all on red and double up
>Cyber hacker foolishly attempts to rob me as I leave
>District0x forces instantly freeze his avatar and ping his IP address for SEC involvement.
>I laugh as I watch his shitty avatar fade away in a miniature digital dust-cloud
>New-coiners who only entered last year when all world governments switched their reserve currency to Bitcoin, now follow my digital movements like I am some sort of celebrity.
>Incoming transmission from GolemAI
>another 1000 BAT has been credited to my profile.
>Clearly some of my viewers were amused too.
>Briefly wonder what life would be like if I didn't browse /biz/ on 4chan all those years ago.
>That reminds me
>Connect to the 4chan blockchain, proceed to shitpost

[Anonymous No.5394245]

The year is 2025.

I woke up at exactly 6:00. I need no alarm clock. Go to bed early, wake up early.
I gave my wife a kiss on the cheek as I got up. Walked into the shower, while carressing my beard and pondering what to do today. The summer came fast this year, and it will be hard to keep the harvest balanced.

I left the housing area and got in my steel-plated elevator to the surface (the whole bunker was custom-made for me thanks to my crypto gains) and another /biz/raeli was waiting at the surface. He's been outside all night, because he can't sleep so well after he saw nocoiners burned alive during the Last War of 2022. He hops on a horse and so do I, and we start riding while I squeezed my gourd to get the last few drops of water. In a whim, some deranged surface dweller jumped on us. I threw the punk off me, and he quickly returns to the darkness of the trees, where he would sit until we got away.
When we got off our horses, my friend flexed. His body was thin, affected by hunger like us all, but he was still muscular and whenever he bothered going down to the bunker no less than six women lined up to chat him up. We had some goat to eat, which didn't last too long. Each hunting trip came within five inches of being too little, and catching enough food to feed the kids and have a full belly was a rare enough occurence to put you in a state of euphoria.

I came to my wits, and transferred my gun to my bag. After the first seven hundred rounds, you realise you better pick up a bow. I started doing a lap around the forest, but I got a radio call from the bunker. It was a conference call with the other guys. We were nineteen now and it was time to start farming on the surface.
The sun started to set and you don't want to be lonely at night, so we went back. My friend was sucking on his finger as we rode home - nettle sting.
I left him at the door, transferred my weapons to the cabinet, opened the elevator and went back inside.

[Anonymous No.5394320]

>>5393486
/thread

[Anonymous No.5394703]

>>5393416
You are a fucking polygammous degenerate