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53827300 No.53827300 [Reply] [Original]

My manager ranked his employees this year based on how often their Skype status was green versus yellow. How can I profit from this?

>> No.53827325

you can invest in a mouse jiggler

>> No.53827368

>>53827325
don't even need it.
make your calendar private.
schedule meetings with yourself most of the day.
sit on your skype call with yourself, while you do whatever you want.

>> No.53827390
File: 143 KB, 256x256, 49FE6BB2-97AC-497B-A778-99EF485446EC.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53827390

>>53827325
Make sure you get a physical one and plug it into a separate power supply because IT detects software ones

>> No.53828768

>>53827300
Yellow is good right?

>> No.53828808
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53828808

>>53827300
Putting a weight on the spacebar bros... we weren't nearly cocky enough.

>> No.53828825

>>53828768
>Yellow is good right?
this is your brain on PMs

>> No.53828830

>>53827300
can't you just permanently set it to busy (red) so it never switches to yellow?

>> No.53829012

>>53827300
>Skype status
what kind of honky ass job uses skype?

>> No.53829143

>>53827300
In Germany your could sue him for that.

>> No.53829171

>>53827300
Buy laser mouse and put it on a cd

>> No.53829240

>>53828808
I leave a YouTube video related to my job playing with captions on and my laptop never goes to sleep.

>> No.53829307
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53829307

>this kills the middle management

>> No.53829522
File: 59 KB, 800x408, DspSRywU0AEmNdo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53829522

This is you WFH wagies trying to trick your masters

>> No.53829593

>>53828808
Nice. My best was putting my mouse on an analog clock so the second hand moves the mouse every minute.

>> No.53830051

>>53829522
I dont even have monitoring software. My overlords trust me.

>> No.53831096

>>53827300
>using Skype in 2023

>> No.53831158

>>53827300
My mouse doesn't let my Skype status change from green to yellow without me even having to do anything. Not sure why but its amazing

>> No.53831178

>>53829143
You can also die in an earthquake.

>> No.53833162

lol get fucked nerdcels. At my job the more you are green the worse you look