/smg/ - STOCK MARKET GENERAL

[/smg/ - STOCK MARKET GENERAL No.53526253]

The World Will Know Pain Edition

>Educational sites:
https://www.investopedia.com/
https://www.khanacademy.org/economics-finance-domain
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiOs3-llXq5CGQPNHf_3-nYZ4d_w7OP52

>Financial TV Streams:
https://watchnewslive.tv/watch-cnbc-live-stream-free-24-7/
http://www.livenewson.com/american/bloomberg-television-business.html
https://watchnewslive.tv/watch-fox-business-network-fbn-free-24-7/

>Charts:
https://www.tradingview.com
https://www.finscreener.com
https://www.koyfin.com/
https://www.portfoliovisualizer.com

>Screeners:
https://finviz.com/
https://www.tradingview.com/screener
https://etfdb.com/

>Options
https://www.optionsplaybook.com/options-introduction/
https://www.optionsprofitcalculator.com
https://optionstrat.com/
https://www.optionistics.com/quotes/option-prices

>Pre-Market and Live data:
https://www.investing.com/indices/indices-futures
https://finance.yahoo.com/

>Calendars
https://www.marketwatch.com/economy-politics/calendar
https://www.earningswhispers.com/calendar
https://www.cmegroup.com/trading/interest-rates/countdown-to-fomc.html

>Boomer Investing 101:
https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_started

>Misc:
https://finance.yahoo.com/trending-tickers
https://market24hclock.com/
https://wallmine.com/
https://fintel.io/
https://www.dividendchannel.com/drip-returns-calculator
https://brokerchooser.com/

Previous: >>53525176

[Anonymous No.53526277]

Where my work from home Boglechads at?

[Anonymous No.53526280]

I don't get why you fags are not shorting Natgas, just enter a short position any fucking time and it will print money

[Anonymous No.53526281]

Pump post fomc

[Anonymous No.53526283]

>BBBY

LMAO

[Anonymous No.53526286]

Retard day.

[Anonymous No.53526288]

crude really just dropped 3% in 40 minutes lol

[Anonymous No.53526289]

tfw too rich to properly hedge

[Anonymous No.53526290]

[Anonymous No.53526292]

Can this shit just drop already

[Anonymous No.53526297]

>>53526280
natgas if he real
>>53526283
>BBBY
Bottom is in bro

[Anonymous No.53526303]

>>53526288
yep, missed to reload on drip. fuck me

[Anonymous No.53526310]

WHOA BLACK BETTY

[Anonymous No.53526313]

>>53526297
The bottom and fair value is $0. This is not GME. BBBY is not your make it ticket.

[Anonymous No.53526318]

>>53526289
please save my new boil bags

[Anonymous No.53526324]

>>53526253
don't fight the fed
buy high
buy low
buy always
never sell

[Anonymous No.53526326]

>>53526253
>buy a stock with rising trend
>falls 1 entire point
>sell, because I'm an idiot
>rises 2 points
>regret

[Anonymous No.53526328]

i sold calls for end of feb on SOXL at 19 strike
gonna need the AI singularity revolution to wait until then, thank you!

[Anonymous No.53526329]

>Look. Basically I'm just not gonna pivot. I know.. UGH I know.. I'M SORRY! It's just that I'm not pivoting is all. Hahahaha.

[Anonymous No.53526338]

>>53526328
enjoy your write offs next tax season

[Anonymous No.53526339]

someone post the webm

[Anonymous No.53526344]

>>53526288
XOP is down almost 5% today. There's big money straight up panic dumping everything oil/energy related right now.

[Anonymous No.53526356]

>>53526329
25bps is a pivot in financal terms. Semis gonna double digit moon today

[Anonymous No.53526362]

>>53526344
expecting a big recession?

[Anonymous No.53526363]

uht oh

[Anonymous No.53526367]

>>53526339
>someone post the webm

[Anonymous No.53526372]

>>53526344
I'm big money straight up panic dumping everything. AMA.

[Anonymous No.53526381]

>>53526338
lum made the correct choice

[Anonymous No.53526382]

>>53526318
I bought a few shares of BOIL. Does this stick only go down? What am I in for?

[Anonymous No.53526384]

>>53526277
I'm here
I figured out my Excel formula from last night. It's not the solution I want, but it works. Basically, if over-deposit into one account, it will tell me to withdraw the overage amount and re-distribute it to other accounts. If I don't want to do that though, I can just delete the formula for that cell and it will be factored out of the equation entirely. If I need the formula back, I can just drag it from the next month. Not great... I wanted it to just zero out that cell, but that was fucking up the formulas. Anyway, I expect to DCA about $2800 into ETFs this month, and $2900 into my savings account (4%!). This could change if my tax return is good, and it should be...

[Anonymous No.53526386]

>>53526326
>mfw it went down again by 1.45

[Anonymous No.53526387]

>>53526340
why is oil dumping btw. Confused

[Anonymous No.53526388]

>>53526339

[Anonymous No.53526392]

>>53526339

[Anonymous No.53526393]

Always a great time to lock in those losses before the shares you just sold rebound.

[Anonymous No.53526397]

>>53526339
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOl3U5h_78Q

[Anonymous No.53526401]

>>53526292
It will dont worry. At 2:30 Jerome is going to come out on stage, scream bamalam, announce a 75 bepis points hike, pull his penis out of his pants and spin it like a helicopter, do a 360, and walk away.

[Anonymous No.53526409]

>>53526283
Still $2.6 too high

[Anonymous No.53526408]

everything is fine.

[Anonymous No.53526407]

SOXLbros, we just can't stop winning

[Anonymous No.53526410]

> OIL

KEK BAGGIES

[Anonymous No.53526411]

People are buying SOFI.
It is really popular with stock market investors.

[Anonymous No.53526415]

>>53526339

[Anonymous No.53526417]

>>53526339

[Anonymous No.53526419]

>Coming back to the office after people thought I killed myself.

[Anonymous No.53526423]

>>53526382
sufferings

[Anonymous No.53526428]

This is literally what should've happened yesterday. I fucking hate MM's

[Anonymous No.53526432]

>>53526387
Relentless crude inventory builds. Which wouldn't be so bad, because you can just write those off as refineries doing maintenance, but gasoline and distillate builds are also gigahueg.

Not to mention substitution effects/spillover from incredibly cheap natural gas. Coal is also getting heemed for similar reasons.

[Anonymous No.53526433]

>>53526392
Cool

[Anonymous No.53526435]

>>53526401
>do a 360,
He's doing AT LEAST a 720

[Anonymous No.53526438]

btw nobody bought hedges. Puts are literally cheaper than the 2021 bull run glory days. Look at SKEW. If this gets hairy don't expect your run of the mill down day; this + 0DTEs are more fuel to the fire

[Anonymous No.53526440]

>>53526339

[Anonymous No.53526442]

>>53526339

[Anonymous No.53526443]

If you buy puts the volatility crash after the rate hike is going to kill you.

[Anonymous No.53526444]

>>53526423
Sounds like a good fit for my portfolio

[Anonymous No.53526446]

>>53526362
Nah this is just how energy trades. Every month or two something sparks a sudden race to the exit.
No long term trust. The past decade destroyed that.

[Anonymous No.53526447]

>>53526392
>When your stock inexplicably doesn't dump with the rest of the market

[Anonymous No.53526449]

>>53526367
Man, I miss Nielsen

[Anonymous No.53526460]

>>53526339
.

[Anonymous No.53526461]

>>53526435
> Jerome can't even do a 720 McTwist on the halfpipe
Somebody get one of those Asian toddlers on the board.

[Anonymous No.53526462]

look at the bart on this GM chart post earnings. this thing is gonna rug

[Anonymous No.53526463]

THREADLY REMINDER THAT DIVIDENDS ARE YOUR FREN

[Anonymous No.53526465]

>>53526339

[Anonymous No.53526466]

>>53526460
Neutralized.

[Anonymous No.53526471]

>>53526415
her name? sarah michelle gellar aka SMG

[Anonymous No.53526472]

>>53526465
>soft landing

[Anonymous No.53526483]

>>53526339

[Anonymous No.53526486]

>>53526339

[Anonymous No.53526491]

>Sold all my SOXL calls for a nice premium
Now what do I do? Still all cash...

[Anonymous No.53526493]

>>53526460
>>53526466
What's the point of videos like this?
What fat, balding food truck faggot is just filming random women like this?

[Anonymous No.53526494]

>>53526465
okay but that was a smooth backflip

[Anonymous No.53526502]

IT'S HAPPENING
THE BEAR WILL LEAVE HIS CAVE FOREVER

[Anonymous No.53526504]

>>53526460
>>53526466
God damn I hate women so much it is unreal

[Anonymous No.53526509]

>>53526449
For me it's his golf videos (conveniently available on Youtube):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjAUZEdqq3Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxG9EVf6T78
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4mjR3dhRtY

Also MODG looks like it's breaking out.

[Anonymous No.53526510]

>>53526443
not with a delta over 40

[Anonymous No.53526519]

>>53526491
Same here. Just bought some SCHD and set a buy order for feb 10

[Anonymous No.53526521]

>>53526443
volatility is already in the dumpster, puts are insanely cheap right now

[Anonymous No.53526523]

So is powell going to show 2022 powell or is he going to grow some balls in 2023 now the elections are over. huh uhuhhuh??

[Anonymous No.53526524]

>>53526471
and yet she's rarely posted in this, her dedicated thread. Really makes you wonder.
also she's mine back off

[Anonymous No.53526527]

>>53526466
She looks like Rachel Riley's druggie young sister

[Anonymous No.53526535]

>>53526493
First of all you need to check your tone. Secondly, Selena the goblina has brought out constructive rage in this general so it's a net positive.

[Anonymous No.53526540]

>>53526504
based incel

[Anonymous No.53526546]

>>53526524
bad feet

[Anonymous No.53526548]

>>53526465

[Anonymous No.53526549]

why is the announcement so late I CANT TAKE I ANYMORE TWO MORE HOURS WTF AM I GOING TO DO

[Anonymous No.53526550]

>>53526521
Look at IV vs HV.

[Anonymous No.53526553]

>>53526524
ugly disgusting sweaty joss whedon fucked her while she was 18
and also ever other buffy/angel girl besides dawn(her mother never allowed her to be alone with him)

[Anonymous No.53526555]

>>53526546
Stop looking at feet you sick freak.

[Anonymous No.53526557]

>>53526386
>buy a cheap stock from a holding that gives dividends
>down
>the only blue chip we have keeps coming down

[Anonymous No.53526558]

>>53526535

[Anonymous No.53526566]

>>53526523
Dude the feds haven't affected the market at all. DOW JONES still near ATH. If you think the market is going any other direction other than up you're delusional

[Anonymous No.53526565]

>>53526546
Retard

[Anonymous No.53526572]

>>53526381
>screencap OC I made gets reposted

[Anonymous No.53526573]

>>53526553
>when she was 18
too old

[Anonymous No.53526576]

>>53526535
>First of all you need to check your tone
If she said that to me I would be HARD and beg to lick her feet but still what is the point of filming random customers at your food truck?

[Anonymous No.53526579]

>So we been breaking bobos for 3 generations.
>Mos' time the breaking sticks. The bobo don't give you any kine uh problems.
>B b but sometimes, sometimes... well sometimes you get a PECULIAR bobo.
>This one bobo, well he was the peculiar type, he a uh, well he would act up but he wouldnt hide it.
>It seem every week he was pretending to short the market on pickin duty( but with one eye open all koi like) or he'd take extra molasses pie, or or or he'd sit his field ass on the front porch.
>Every week he'd do somethin' rascally IN PLAIN damn sight of the OVaseeah.
>OVasseha would call out to the bobo to get to the Breakin Barn. This Bobos eyes would light up and before you could whistle dixie, he'd be in the barn.
>This Bobo would run to that breaking barn like it was a cool stream on a hot August day in Georgia.
>Hellll it got sooo bad this bobo would TELL You what kine mischief he was gone get his midnight black ass into. He hadnt even DO nuthin yet..
>He would skip over to the barn after an call out " COME On MAaaaaSSA THIS BOBO AINT GUNNA BREAK HISSELF!"
>Just down right peculiar...

[Anonymous No.53526584]

>>53526566
Another VAX bites the dust. He didn't invest in MRNA back 2020.

[Anonymous No.53526585]

My apartment building wants me to decide to renew my lease six months earlier than required... while the market is still a bit frothy...
In six months, this entire tech town could be deserted, fuck no

[Anonymous No.53526586]

>>53526558
ok

[Anonymous No.53526590]

Interesting indeed
https://strawpoll.com/polls/PKgl3zj41np

[Anonymous No.53526593]

>>53526576
Entertainment i guess, reminds me of this literal jew in Sweden who used to stream from his food truck and getting into fights with the customers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJmd0iv6yzk

[Anonymous No.53526601]

>>53526566
thats even worse. that means he needs to hike even higher for longer

[Anonymous No.53526602]

>>53526572
many have passed it on, thank you for your service

[Anonymous No.53526617]

>>53526593
Why are jews so based?

[Anonymous No.53526625]

>>53526585
Are you legally required to do so?

[Anonymous No.53526630]

lol look at DXY, VIX, treasury/junk bonds, crude, relative sector strength

the move has already started, and this is literally a replay of the titanic. God its going to be so fucking bad

[Anonymous No.53526633]

Reminder of how retarded opening shorts on INTC looks right now

[Anonymous No.53526634]

>>53526585
Are there a bunch of other empty units? Other local apartments marking their prices down? Maybe call their bluff and wait them out.

[Anonymous No.53526637]

>"SPENDERS could be here" he thought, "I've never been in this CPI range before. There could be SPENDERS anywhere." The cool wind felt good against his bare chest. "I HATE SPENDERS" he thought. Pump It Up reverberated his entire car, making it pulsate even as the $90000 wine circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) fear of inflation in the economy. "With a printer, you can go anywhere you want" he said to himself, out loud.

[Anonymous No.53526638]

>>53526324
This is the best way if you start when you're 18 and just keep going. By the time you're 35 you'll be rich.

[Anonymous No.53526641]

while we wait for the dump
>how do we profit from the bonds un-inverting
buy the 2y or 5y and short the 10+y? i think they call this "steepening" anyone know how to play that?

[Anonymous No.53526643]

>>53526633
>Peter_Lynch_how_much_lower_can_it_go.mp3.rar.avi.exe

[Anonymous No.53526646]

>>53526625
No, I don't have to decide until July
But they're sending me paperwork NOW asking about renewing... at a higher rent. I feel like they're trying to trick me. In six months, I'll probably be able to negotiate a lower rate since the rental market here will have collapsed by then
>>53526634
I don't think it's empty yet, but this is a tech town, and it's getting hit. Also, there are like 5 other apartment buildings in the process of going up right now. There's no way this market stays tight

[Anonymous No.53526645]

>>53526602
I'm gonna be needing a name for this lad

[Anonymous No.53526657]

>>53526440
>53526339
what years of rejection from females does to you. This and having reptiles as a hobby

[Anonymous No.53526660]

WHEN DOES THE FED SPEAK

[Anonymous No.53526661]

Should I sell my UVXY call?

[Anonymous No.53526663]

>>53526646
Don't know if it's the same where you are, but here the paperwork has to be sent with 6 months advance if the price increases.

[Anonymous No.53526673]

>>53526292
No we have to keep slurping companies which report negative earnings and asset liquidations to pay bills, everyone knows forward looking and bullish and to the moon. Trust the plan. 2 more jabs.

[Anonymous No.53526678]

How much would it cost to dig a second basement level for my sex dungeon? It needs to be hidden

[Anonymous No.53526680]

the last 6 months have been so goofy and irrational I legitimately dont even know how to position myself today
cpi we had JPM give 100% odds of a either a 1% pump or dump and it crabbed, and today we have 100% odds of 25bps and its red
fug

[Anonymous No.53526682]

Holy shit. 0 bps confirmed

What the FUCK is Powell smoking?

[Anonymous No.53526684]

>>53526657
>what years of rejection from females does to you
>honing his craft due to no pesky interference from 3dpd
>now a world renowned popcorn server
Id say he's the one the won the game.

[Anonymous No.53526683]

>>53526601
Feds job is not to tank the market. It is to ensure full employment and control inflation. As we have defeated inflation, the feds are gonna pivot

[Anonymous No.53526688]

>>53526646
You'll be fine, I think. They're probably betting on people that don't know their rights, and they sure as hell didn't count on some autist paying attention to macroeconomics to know bad shit is coming.

>>53526630
I did some correlations last week, those sectors usually inverse the SPY. You say they've started to move but the market hasn't dumped yet? Oh boy

[Anonymous No.53526690]

>>53526663
Oh, really? Hmm, could be a new thing. They didn't send it that early last year, I think I only got like 2 or 3 months notice
I'm not really planning to stay here anyway

[Anonymous No.53526692]

>>53526381
No one wants semiconductors anymore, it's all about the russian fullconductors.

[Anonymous No.53526706]

>>53526646
>But they're sending me paperwork NOW asking about renewing... at a higher rent. I feel like they're trying to trick me. In six months, I'll probably be able to negotiate a lower rate since the rental market here will have collapsed by then
Say you'll renew if you get your current security deposit back. Then move out before the new term starts

[NEW POLL No.53526707]

>WHAT COLOR WILL JPOW'S TIE BE???
https://strawpoll.com/polls/3RnYlpJxJye
>https://strawpoll.com/polls/3RnYlpJxJye
https://strawpoll.com/polls/3RnYlpJxJye
>https://strawpoll.com/polls/3RnYlpJxJye

[Anonymous No.53526709]

I prefer the demiconductors.

[Anonymous No.53526711]

Why do I feel like it's time to buy SOXS instead before Powell talks? Will we go higher? I feel like the market is still too optimistic right now.

[Anonymous No.53526712]

>>53526692
The problem is most semiconductors are international so when people talk about it its mostly american overpriced shit like nvidia

[Anonymous No.53526713]

>>53526446
And then you buy close enough to the bottom and ride next month's pump back up as the company's buy their own stock. Like a shitcoin.

[Anonymous No.53526715]

>*taps mic*
>ahem
>WOAH BLACK BETTY

[Anonymous No.53526717]

>>53526683
feds job is to control inflation and employment. has nothing to do with propping the stock market up.

[Anonymous No.53526718]

What do you do when a secretary starts sending passive aggressive emails?

[Anonymous No.53526719]

>>53526678
If you do it by hand it's literally free. Watch the movie barbarian if you need some pointers.

[Anonymous No.53526722]

Jerome splashes water on his face in a seedy hotel bathroom and straightens his tie in the mirror, his right eye twitches a few times. He gives himself a shake and steps out of the bathroom. The scene is grim, needles and bongs litter the sleazy hotel room not to mention all the condoms and semen everywhere interspersed with the most rancid whores imaginable, the kind 2scoops would hire. All the Fed presidents, women included, just ran the biggest drug fueled train on the market imaginable. The market is whimpering in the corner about shrinkflation while jizz leaks out of every hole. Once the condoms ran out everyone just fucked the market raw, he smirks as he remembers the market begging them not to. Several of the other junkie prostitutes are passed out about the room and he has to step over them on his way out. It won't be long before they start to wake up and find the pile of dead chinese ones with Evergrande branded on their asses in the bathroom tub. Jerome walks over to the market and bends down and whispers, "Come back when you need more QE, bitch." and spits in her face. Smiling as he walks out he remembers he needs to return some video tapes. He heads down to the hotel office to pay them 9 billion dollars for the hotel stay on his fake CC under Hunter Biden's name. Mimicking Janet Yellen's raspy old Jew woman voice, "What about black unemployment?" he says out loud on his way down and laughs to himself.

[Anonymous No.53526725]

>>53526683
>full employment
But that's not ideal either, since it means more money is going back to the economy. The ideal unemployment rate is something like 4.9% or so

[Anonymous No.53526728]

>>53526718
spank her.

[Anonymous No.53526729]

>>53526660
Decision at 2:00 ET, and talk is at 2:30 ET

[Anonymous No.53526737]

Up or Down. I'm gonna win because I am the game. and I came to play. You can't beat me cause I'm the game.

[Anonymous No.53526738]

>>53526692
The world is moving on to superconductors. Your next phone will have like 2000 of these inside it

[Anonymous No.53526741]

>>53526711
Why is this dude so pink and jacked

[Anonymous No.53526747]

>>53526718
I agree with the other anon. Probably a good spanking would do the trick. Sh s probably sexually frustrated so just go into the office and grab her by the pussy

[Anonymous No.53526749]

>>53526713
Pretty much. I don't think today is the entry though.

[Anonymous No.53526750]

>>53526711
The market has been traveling in a straight line for 3 months waiting for anything, anything to happen.

[Anonymous No.53526752]

>>53526738
The next phone is going to be inside of you.

[Anonymous No.53526755]

>>53526741
He spends all day beating the shit out of marijuana smokers.

[Anonymous No.53526763]

>>53526752
Sure if that's what you're into

[Anonymous No.53526765]

>>53526738
>cancer causing cold blue uranium
But will it fit in my asshole is the real question.

[Anonymous No.53526769]

>>53526711
looks like a fucking character from Doug

[Anonymous No.53526770]

It’s over

[Anonymous No.53526775]

>>53526752
i'm frontrunning that

[Anonymous No.53526774]

Is the amount of beepis revealed before Powell speaks?

[Anonymous No.53526783]

Where is everyone watching the upcoming Jerome speach?

[Anonymous No.53526784]

>>53526741
Average Nordic berserker frame

[Anonymous No.53526788]

>>53526770
huge pump incoming

[Anonymous No.53526792]

I'm down like %5 across the board lads

[Anonymous No.53526793]

>>53526752
How will people afford cybernetics if they have no jobs because of AI?
>cyberpunk future is inevitable because fusion with machines will be the only way to fully interface with and use them for employment purposes
BECOME A MUTILATED FREAK
SO YOU CAN BE A WAGIE

[Anonymous No.53526796]

>>53526774
Yes

[Anonymous No.53526798]

>>53526683
>As we have defeated inflation
Uh, chief?

[Anonymous No.53526800]

I am purchasing 1 thousand american dollars worth of UVXY

[Anonymous No.53526806]

>>53526339

[Anonymous No.53526808]

>>53526770
It's literally nothing.

[Anonymous No.53526810]

>>53526798
legitimately fuckign horrifying

[Anonymous No.53526819]

>>53526793
Every job will be a gig job in the future. You can work when you want where you want. You will be an I9 employee and have absolutely no workers benefits

[Anonymous No.53526820]

>>53526810
kek

[Anonymous No.53526822]

>>53526800
Uranium is made from anuses.

[Anonymous No.53526824]

is now the time to get into BOIL?

[Anonymous No.53526825]

>>53526339

[Anonymous No.53526830]

>>53526770
I have never witnessed such a bloodbath, and I've been posting on /smg/ since the great depression (wasn't that great btw).

[Anonymous No.53526833]

>>53526810
What's funny is if China's serious about promoting domestic *consumption* as they claim, then for the next few quarters they'll drive up inflation for raw materials and energy without helping us with goods deflation.

Jerome Powell has gone from fuckee to fucked.

[Anonymous No.53526836]

>this market

[Anonymous No.53526838]

>>53526800
should have got 10 of these and remaining in uvxy. also don't trade volatility products they're for faggots

[Anonymous No.53526842]

>>53526798
Wow would you look at that. They've done literally nothing to tackle inflation. Soft landing my ass.

[Anonymous No.53526850]

>>53526820
If I could peek forward in time for a little bit, even if I couldn't invest based on the info, I'd love to see what the fuck happens to yields the day the debt ceiling is raised again.

[߷ !SPIN6yJzoU No.53526855]

>>53526339

[Anonymous No.53526858]

>>53526825
>futures

[HARBNIGER OF THE MELTDOWN No.53526859]

>>53526683
you must be new to the financial markets
the feds job is to overtighten until something breaks
like they do every.single.time
today is the perfect day for a surprise 50 bepis and then top it off with some bad big tech earnings tomorrow
you have no idea how quickly everything since the october lows will be wiped out

[Anonymous No.53526861]

>>53526819
>the richest people will just use genetic engineering and age reversal to live to be 500 in good health and beauty as they were when they were 22
>middle classes and working poor will be robofreaks getting plastic surgery and 'upgrades' on loan in order to better sell themselves, making sexbots and femoids completely indistinguishable
>robots will also be wagies
>poorfags will be goblins and subsist entirely off welfare and the universal gibs handouts, but be disgusting to look at due to being genetic losers and unable to afford genetic engineering and unwilling to put themselves in debt for fake tits or fake brainpower

CYBERPUNK: WAGIE77

[Anonymous No.53526868]

Welcome to Coomer's Anonymous. Jerome you are first.
>Hi everyone, my name is Jerome and I love to coom.
(Everyone): Hi Jerome.
>Cooming is more than just an addiction to me, it's my job. I have to coom in the market or inflation won't be transistory. I have to coom in bonds yields or the US will default on it's debt. Who's going to coom in bonds? Yellen? Warren? No, it is my patriotic duty to coom in all your investment vehicles. It's what makes uranium futures for physical delivery glow green. You need my coom. I can't stop for the good of the American people.
Jerome, you don't seem to understand, this is a recovery grou-
>No YOU don't understand. WHO IS GOING TO COOM IN THE S&P500? Trump? No his dick is tiny like a childs and Biden only fingerbangs kids these days and that's when he remembers the current year.
Bu-
>I know I know, it's not good for me to be cooming in every derivative and I think I got a STD from the gangbang with bitcoin and those defi sluts. Agh, those are some dirty birds. Cooming in the shorts makes me feel the best, they never last long and if they get margin called while you are inside they tighten up like a fucking vice. You want a bull market you got to coom bull amounts. I inject pure testosterone directly into my dick. I've had erections that last days if not weeks. I do it for the little frog guys that can't get a gf to coom in much less coom in TSLA. If not me then who?
You seem to have some self-sacrifice issues with this, what about the other Fed Presidents? You don't have to carry all this cooming weight. How long does your heart have left?
>Fuck. You are right. I'll be lucky if I make it to 2023 when I promised interest rate cuts. I'm not stopping though, I will coom this market around one way or another, so help me God. WHOA BLACK BETTY.
Hmm, okay clearly we have some work to do. Who do we have next... Mr. Bobo? This can't be right.

[Anonymous No.53526881]

>>53526796
@2p?

[Anonymous No.53526883]

>>53526868
someone do the AI voice generator with this, I tried but it gave me an error when I tried to copy Jerome's voice

[Anonymous No.53526890]

>>53526783
Pornhub streams it

[Anonymous No.53526898]

Why would michael j burry tell people to sell if it wasnt serious? you think he would just haphazardly go and give investing advice to people if he didnt think it was important?

[Anonymous No.53526904]

made a 5x on 1de meta puts last quarter
this time the premiums and IV are so high its not even worth it
ITS OVER OPTIONS BROS

[Anonymous No.53526905]

>>53526883
I'd love to see the Gunnery Sergeant from Full Metal Jacket do the navy seals

[Anonymous No.53526909]

>>53526836
Dumb fucking bitch

[Anonymous No.53526919]

>>53526898
Don't worry, he'll just delete the tweet when it turns out he was wrong

[Anonymous No.53526920]

>>53526881
read >53526729

[Anonymous No.53526921]

>>53526836

[Anonymous No.53526924]

WHAT‘S THE FUCKING PLAY ON $META TODAY

[Anonymous No.53526926]

Imagine if you knew someone on the Fed that leaked you info like 15 minutes earlier. You would be a billionaire easy. People in power have it so easy. Making money is insanely easy if you're well connected. Stock market is so rigged. I'm sure this info will be "leaked" like 15 minutes before like always and few people will be rich and SEC will turn blind eye as usual.

[Anonymous No.53526931]

>>53526921
>>53526909
delet now

[Anonymous No.53526935]

>>53526919
He already did

[Anonymous No.53526945]

>>53526904
Then write the options instead, silly

[Anonymous No.53526948]

>>53526904
I was thinking the same. A call option on qqq expiring tomorrow that’s like 2% otm will only break even if the market actually moves 2% and the call is itm

[Anonymous No.53526953]

>>53526926
There's no surprise though. And even if you know, say, Jerome hints at 3 25 bepis hikes from here, that doesn't mean the market will respond the way you think it will.

[Anonymous No.53526954]

>>53526935
Lol

[Anonymous No.53526959]

>>53526924
sell 165c for friday

[Anonymous No.53526964]

>>53526945
>Then write the options instead, silly

[Anonymous No.53526968]

i still havent taken the jab...but im thinking of getting it because i want to die

[Anonymous No.53526970]

>>53526935
FUCK YOU BURRY YOU ABANDONED US YOU RETARD YOU WERE PROBABLY DRUNK AND WATCING DOOMER VIDEOS AAAA MY PUTS ARE GOING TO BE WORTHLESS I TRUSTED YOU BURRY YOU BASTARD

[Anonymous No.53526973]

The suspense is giving me an erection, my penis is glistening right now

[Anonymous No.53526977]

>>53526968
Come on. it can't be that bad.

[Anonymous No.53526982]

>>53526973
>my penis is glistening right now
That requires light, anon. Put your penis away; now!

[Anonymous No.53526986]

I've made 8 dollars on my UVXY calls

[Anonymous No.53526988]

ive had an idea to get a chatgpt instance to train on FOMC earnings but im a depressed unmotivated loser so heres a jeet that did something similar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhBw3j_O9LE

[Anonymous No.53526989]

>>53526926
the question now is, can you follow their steps somehow? if so, you could simply copy their actions... couldn't you?

[Anonymous No.53526993]

>>53526977
the jab or this hellish existence?

[Anonymous No.53526998]

Can't believe i post on a general where people unironically buy UVXY calls

[Anonymous No.53527002]

MO bros... smoke em if ya got em

[Anonymous No.53527006]

>>53526417

[Anonymous No.53527007]

>>53526253
Is anyone going short on META?

[Anonymous No.53527010]

Thinking about feb 3 VIX puts or SPY calls.

I think this will be a nothing burger and the market will recover back to even or green after FOMC.

By the way I love green tea

[Anonymous No.53527012]

>>53526770
4100 confirmed

[Anonymous No.53527015]

>>53526926
I can only see a dump playing out, unironically.
25bps is "priced-in" see (https://www.cmegroup.com/trading/interest-rates/countdown-to-fomc.html))
only press conf matters and do you really think Jpow will talk about cutting in this meeting? they will not go down with their higher terminal rate just after some soft data prints.
he literally can only be hawkish otherwise the bond market will soften even more (it's already laughing at him that he will never even go to 5%)

[Anonymous No.53527017]

>>53526998
its a lesson you just have to learn as a trader, everyone has lost money on uvxy, its a right of passage

[Anonymous No.53527020]

rate my strangle

[Anonymous No.53527023]

>>53527002
That's a man

[Anonymous No.53527028]

>>53527023
no, that's a realtor

[Anonymous No.53527036]

>>53526970
MJBurry.net/refunds

[Anonymous No.53527037]

>>53526842
Almost as if drip feeding rate increases doesn't work.
They need to go full Volcker.

[Anonymous No.53527046]

>>53526998
>UVXY calls

They are all just chasing the dragon from March 2020 when the options increased 10k+ percent, it was TVIX at that time though I think. Puts are much safer play usually, everytime it spikes just buy puts and it's ex money

[Anonymous No.53527045]

You thought JPow was a joke
He is not a joke
get fucked niggers

[Anonymous No.53527060]

>>53527020
>strangle
you going with stops?
im expecting whipsaws so hard, might not be a good strategy to use stops today

[Anonymous No.53527061]

>>53526970
But anon Burry always deletes his tweets

[Anonymous No.53527063]

>>53527046
UVXY puts are quite literally a worse idea than UVXY calls, from an R/R perspective

[Anonymous No.53527069]

>>53526310
when's the fomc today?

[Anonymous No.53527074]

>>53527069
50 minutes until you die nigger

[Anonymous No.53527075]

>>53527063
Not during normal times

[Anonymous No.53527078]

>>53527069
50 minutes
place
your
bets

[Anonymous No.53527079]

>>53527015
you and most retard retail are in puts.
its the only reason im in calls. it really is that easy.

[Anonymous No.53527080]

>>53527069
Why tell you when we can link the more ominous countdown clock: https://www.cmegroup.com/markets/interest-rates/cme-fedwatch-tool.html

[Anonymous No.53527089]

Actually just saw I have this from one of the earlier FOMCs.

[Anonymous No.53527091]

>>53527079
>you and most retard retail are in puts.
this cant be true wheres the call/put ratio
we have 99% odds of 25bps and what has the market done for every expected bp hike? and then what does it do the next day?

[Anonymous No.53527092]

>>53527078

[Anonymous No.53527098]

>>53527075
What lol?

I would rather go short november long december VX futures than do anything with UVXY
The main problem with buying puts is the skew and IV rise
When VIX rises
So UVXY puts get really expensive
The extrinsic value is correlated to VIX itself so
You pay a lot at the top and have to sell them cheap at the bottom

[Anonymous No.53527099]

>>53526977
took it like 7 months ago.Perfectly fine.

[Anonymous No.53527102]

>>53527063
Don't care, buying puts on spikes has worked for me more often than it has failed.

[Anonymous No.53527105]

>>53527080
>49 days
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA the market wont move for 49 days AAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.53527106]

>>53527078
Already did

[Anonymous No.53527108]

>>53527080
>https://www.cmegroup.com/markets/interest-rates/cme-fedwatch-tool.html
>49 DAYS
>00 HOUR
>47 MIN

[Anonymous No.53527109]

>>53527092
SPY to 0 would tighten financial conditions enough to reverse all this inflation. Bullish.

[Anonymous No.53527115]

>>53527091
priced in, 25bps is bullish as fuck.
you really think its as easy as buy puts every fomc? lol
like i said, thinking too much into it. majority are in puts. thats all i need to know.

[Anonymous No.53527118]

>>53526392
Fake, right?

[Anonymous No.53527120]

>>53526752
No it won't, they can't make shitty cheap plastic garbage that breaks after a couple years of you need a procedure done just to upgrade. They want people spending as much money as possible and it's much less likely you drop it in the toilet if it's fused with your skull.

[Anonymous No.53527122]

HOW MUCH LONGER DO WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR THIS FAGGOT TALK

[Anonymous No.53527124]

Do you guys think hell say the V word today?

[Anonymous No.53527131]

>>53527122
Well you just made a post.

[Anonymous No.53527135]

>>53526318
BOILbros, nattygas is over, isn't it?

[Anonymous No.53527139]

>>53527102
Please my school shooter white friend do not buy UVXY puts like a gambling orangutan. You are going to get decayed to death

[Anonymous No.53527140]

>>53527060
1.00 for both i think i'll get it on the whipsaw, it's wide but printed last time

[Anonymous No.53527145]

>>53527028
its popular these days

[Anonymous No.53527144]

>>53527115
no proof

[Anonymous No.53527146]

>>53527118
They could've spent all day filming the perfect take.
With enough speed it could skip across water, and with the right spin on the ball, it would arc that way. I'd say it's feasible.

[Anonymous No.53527147]

>>53527120
>No it won't, they can't make shitty cheap plastic garbage that breaks after a couple years of you need a procedure done just to upgrade.
Even more bullish

[Anonymous No.53527148]

>>53527124
bagina?

[Anonymous No.53527151]

>>53527135
Turns out you can mass produce synthetic gas. I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Maybe hippies in Vermont will still buy your stuff though.

[Anonymous No.53527153]

>>53527122
Beepis announced @ 2:00 EST
Talk @ 2:30 EST
>>53527131
Kek

[Anonymous No.53527156]

>>53527131
gottem lmaoo

[Anonymous No.53527159]

>>53527010
You use your teeth as the strainer?

[Anonymous No.53527162]

>>53527135
>he invested in farts

[Anonymous No.53527174]

>>53527159
Probably uses a straw

[Anonymous No.53527181]

>>53527144
>“It always dumps on fed meeting so I bought puts” - NPCs

[Anonymous No.53527183]

>>53527140
Based Patlabor poster

[Anonymous No.53527192]

Maybe Jerome will throw a left hook by announcing a doubling of QT. The market's not on guard for that.

[Anonymous No.53527195]

>>53527140
Mecha is so cool but also so retarded some times.

[Anonymous No.53527196]

>>53527151
>>53527162
AW MANNNN

[Anonymous No.53527199]

>>53527061
Shhh, don't let him know burry has 0 tweets now

[Anonymous No.53527203]

trending on twitter
>25 bps
>50 bps
kek

[Anonymous No.53527206]

Whos got the link

[Anonymous No.53527209]

>>53527159
No I use a strainer and pour it into another cup. You need to let the leaves have tons of room when steeping for the best flavor experience

>>53527139
Cringe, sounds like you're asshurt because you're too dumb to buy puts only on spikes

[Anonymous No.53527212]

>AMD

[Anonymous No.53527218]

>>53527203
what the fuck

[Anonymous No.53527221]

i bought some puts so the /smg/ bears couldn't dab on me. i dont actually think it's going down

[Anonymous No.53527224]

>>53527206
Waiting music for now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntPeHC8z1Og

[Anonymous No.53527226]

>>53527206
Usually its up on the Feds own youtube page but nothing there this time

[Anonymous No.53527230]

>>53527131
Btfo

[Anonymous No.53527237]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULM5IGSs098

[Anonymous No.53527257]

>>53527124
People like him don't fit into the modern world anymore. This man had the courage and conviction to do what was right.

[Anonymous No.53527256]

>>53527106
fascinating
post gains/loss later please

[Anonymous No.53527258]

>50bps
>retail panic sells
>huge pump during the last 10 minutes of trading
>retail fomos back in
>spy opens -3% tomorrow
This is my prediction. You may not like it but this is how it's gonna play.

[Anonymous No.53527260]

BOILS GOING TO ZERO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.53527261]

OFFICIAL thread theme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_2D8Eo15wE

[Anonymous No.53527271]

gigadump

[Anonymous No.53527273]

50 BEPIS
NO QUESTIONS
https://youtu.be/Ho2iJXlcmR8

[߷ !SPIN6yJzoU No.53527276]

HOW MANY BEPPIES JEROME
GIVE US THE BEPPIES

[Anonymous No.53527285]

>>53527276
bout tree fiddy

[Anonymous No.53527292]

i went all in on SOXS at 23.69 with leverage
save me jerome

[Anonymous No.53527301]

>>53527140
>we have created the highest tech bipedal tank system in the world
>what weaponry should we give it?
>lol dunno like a wheel gun from the old west or some shit lmao yee haw howdy partner

[Anonymous No.53527302]

why does jerome have an african american name

[Anonymous No.53527306]

>>53527302
He cares deeply about black unemployment

[Anonymous No.53527308]

[Anonymous No.53527310]

What's going on with SOXL? I'm up 10% and I want to get out. Should I wait a little longer? I'm greedy.

Also, If gas stoves are to be banned in murica, is it even worth investing in gas?
Europoors need not answer the second question

[߷ !SPIN6yJzoU No.53527313]

Jerome is a masculine name of Greek origin, derived from the Greek given name Ἱερώνυμος, Hierōnymos, "sacred name"; from ἱερός, hierós, "sacred", and ὄνυμα, ónyma, an alternative form of ὄνομα, ónoma, "name".

[Anonymous No.53527314]

>>53527258
If 50 bps the market dumps for months

[Anonymous No.53527315]

WELL, JEROME!?
WE'RE WAITING

[Anonymous No.53527318]

>>53527302
we wuz saints n sht

[Anonymous No.53527321]

Even though we know it's 25beeps my heart is racing
I hope deep down that this is the end of the global economy

[Anonymous No.53527326]

>>53527261
for such a good song is has one of the fucking shittiest guitar solos

[Anonymous No.53527328]

DIE ECONOMY DIE *SPITS*

[Anonymous No.53527334]

>>53527292
i bought soxs because you bought soxs. i thought you knew what you were doing. why do you post so confidently about your stupid decisions?

[Anonymous No.53527335]

I would like to take this moment to thank the anons who participated in this weeks BOIL skirmish for actually pumping my BOIL Calls and my Boil Puts on both sides of the straddle.

You have all inflated my bags.

[Anonymous No.53527336]

>>53527302
socioeconomic factors

[Anonymous No.53527338]

This has to be the bottom for BOIL if not natural gas is worthless confirmed

[߷ !SPIN6yJzoU No.53527341]

I’m sorry, but did the S&P already crash? Oh, that’s right. The bullrun isn’t even over yet. In fact, it’s only a technical correction. Does dropping a healthy 20% count as a crash? Is that what you’re saying? Because if you’re saying that I can assure you that you’re wrong. Why would you say this when we're still in a technical bull market? SPY is pumping right now and it has been maintaining a strong position above the threshold for a bear market for how many months now? It's going against a bunch of dirty bankers and holding its ground while at such a precarious time. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded assumptions like this. You know why? Because you’re going to be embarrassed when we gain 10% by next month and someone quotes you. Oh look at that, we just gained a hundred points on the DOW too. Are you a fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a post like this and I’m fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you’re the only guy making all these bearish posts because you’re a faggot hater who doesn’t like JPow because he’s hard working to the point of sweating heavily. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll people on the internet, like I give a fuck. It’s so easy to spot your posts now, you’re a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don’t you try to be a good poster??? Just for one? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That’s just you, you’re always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.

[Anonymous No.53527346]

>>53527315
still half an hour

[Anonymous No.53527347]

>>53527273
>50 BEPIS
Yeah, I've been calling for this for a few weeks now and would love it if this happened. But, so far the expectation has been 25 bps and Powell has done a good job managing expectations, so I'd give a 50 bps hike about a 10% chance.

[FRESH No.53527348]

>>53527337
>>53527337
>>53527337

[Anonymous No.53527351]

>>53527224

[Anonymous No.53527350]

>>53527318
Using a human skull as a bookmark is pretty badass

[Anonymous No.53527352]

>>53527328
There is no spitting in /smg/ thread you disgusting philistine

[Anonymous No.53527360]

>>53527258
My prediction. 25bps. But he says there will be more raises.

[Anonymous No.53527381]

CRASH IT JEROME WITH NO SURVIVORS

[Anonymous No.53527384]

>>53527335
>pumping my BOIL Calls and my Boil Puts on both sides of the straddle
thats not how options work

[Anonymous No.53527390]

Oh Shit Bloomberg Surveillance is on Jerome! FUUUUCK

[Anonymous No.53527412]

I buy stocks with my bond divvies

[Anonymous No.53527419]

>>53527412
I buy divies with my stock sales.

[Anonymous No.53527896]

>>53527002
I’m more of an American Spirit guy myself. BTI is the one for me.