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53521393 No.53521393 [Reply] [Original]

I was a Canadian customs (and then immigration officer) at both the busiest car entry (Windsor-Detroit tunnel) and then Canada’s busiest airport (Toronto) when I was going through law school. I remember quite vividly during my very first shift, having a US plated car pull up to my booth with the music blaring. When I asked the driver to turn down the music, he turned it down a bit in a huff and then said, “I’m in a hurry. I don’t have to answer any of your damn questions…I’m just going to plead the fifth anyway”.

Obviously not a fellow reader of Dale Carnegie.

I was intrigued to find out exactly what method of influence and persuasion he was attempting.

Without saying a word in response, I took out my trusted little pink slip pad, made some notations and then slipped it under his wiper. He stared at me in bewilderment. I simply pointed to the Secondary Inspection area. He squealed out of the booth and drove over to secondary. As luck would have it, a moment or two later I rotated from the primary booth to Secondary. So guess who got to pull that pink slip off of Mr. Charming’s wiper and do the secondary inspection? He was really steaming at this point, as he had been delayed from whatever his “important meeting” had been.

Before approaching his car, I alerted the area supervisor that this was a “CAA” (i.e. Class A A..hole) and to listen in. Adopting an overly courteous but unhurried manner, I approached the gentleman and made the following speech:

You may NOT be aware, but as a non-Canadian you are seeking MY DISCRETION to allow you and your vehicle into Canada today.

You may also NOT be aware that under international law, border officials such as myself have extraordinary unlimited search and seizure powers that unlike domestic law enforcement officials DO NOT require any prior warrants.

>> No.53521406
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53521406

You may also NOT be aware that along with NOT exercising my discretion to allow you into Canada, since you have chosen to attempt entry into Canada with a vehicle, I still have the power to seize this “means of conveyance”. This means you go back but the car stays.

You may also NOT be aware that in Canada, we have a Charter of Rights and Freedoms which governs our interaction. The “Fifth Amendment” which you previously mentioned is part of the US Bill of Rights. It is NOT applicable on this side of the border and is going to be meaningless in the discussion we are about to have.

Putting on my biggest smile, I then said:

Therefore as I was about to ask you a few moments ago, what documentation do you have to prove your citizenship and what is the purpose of your proposed entry into Canada today?

Mr. Tough Guy became Mr. Meek and Mild. He gave me his ID; answered all of my questions quietly; and didn’t say a word when I popped the trunk (it was empty) and then proceeded to have “Ralph the Sniffer Dog” do a once over. At the end of this I did a pregnant pause and concluded with “That wasn’t so hard was it?….Welcome to Canada”

>> No.53521426

which sub

>> No.53521439

I bet you're fun at parties

>> No.53521448

>>53521406
You’re a fag aren’t you?

>> No.53521458

>>53521393
So you fucked Ralph the snitcher dog, didn't you leaf?

>> No.53521463

>>53521393
>>53521406
Why are Canadians so full of hate? Every time I've gone there, I'm treated like complete shit. People are rude and snappy. Everyone seems to be pissed off all the time. I go back into the states and the worlds shift. Everyone is nice, respectful, and laid back. What the fuck happened?

>> No.53521471

>>53521458
I bet you have disgusting little mestizo kids, mutt

>> No.53521480

>>53521463
Fuck off were full

KWAB

>> No.53521495

>>53521480
I was only visiting when I went. I don't plan on going back anytime soon. Canucks are probably the most evil and meanspirited people on the planet. I guess some stereotypes aren't true.

>> No.53521509

>>53521495
Let me guess... you went to GTA? There's not a single Canadian living in any of our major cities FYI

>> No.53521522

Canny janny

>> No.53521523

I want to see mexican executions of redditors

>> No.53521528
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53521528

>>53521495
>Canucks are probably the most evil and meanspirited people on the planet.
Americans are all fat retards, pro tip, you are not as nice as you think you are fattie.
SECONDLY, Canadians like the rest of the world, do NOT like USA mutts.
You faggots are arseholes and walk around being arse holes.
>>53521495
>I guess some stereotypes aren't true.
Literally some bullshit stereotype you fucking faggot USA mutts made up inside of your fat fucking heads.
>>53521463
>Why are Canadians so full of hate?
We are not, USA faggots are the rude ones, case in point.
>>53521463
>I'm treated like complete shit. People are rude and snappy.
>ME ME ME I I I.
I doubt anyone was mean or rude to you but you love to project, dont you?
Oh and pro tip, little fat mutt from the US, NOT being a fucking doormat doesnt make you rude or mean, it means you have a back bone.
These fucking mutts think being nice means being a doormat for them.
Complete stupid people.

>> No.53521575

>>53521509
I did, and it was terrible. Most of the major cities here are shitty, but Canada was even worse.

>>53521528
I'm white and I'm not fat. Yes everything I said was in relation to how I was treated, because that is what I was talking about. I was not rude to people, they were rude to me. Sure, some americans have no manners, but that's not all of us. Here is the states we treat tourists much better than how I was treated in Canada. I've been to Germany and France before, I was treated much better there than I was in Canada.

>> No.53521584

>>53521575
You deserve it for going to GTA. That's like me traveling to chimpcago and bitching about American hospitality. People come to Canada for the landscape ulya goof.

>> No.53521593
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53521593

>>53521406
>Welcome to Canada
enjoy your stay my basterd. Pls remember, while using the loo is optional, suicide is not.

>> No.53521611

>>53521393
>>53521406
BASED. Nothing better than putting the boot down on 'libertarian' scum.

>> No.53521632

>>53521393
>>53521406
Based

>> No.53521727

>>53521393

Cool story, faggot.