/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.53453152]

>boss is having team dinner and told everyone to bring their +1
Is it worse to show up alone or with an escort? I'm gunning for a big raise this year so I can't mess this up.

[Anonymous No.53453170]

Depends on if the bitch knows how to sit there with her mouth shut (95% do not know how to do this)

[Anonymous No.53453171]

>>53453152
Bring your boss’s mom lmoa

[Anonymous No.53453180]

>>53453171
>lmoa
Laugh my off ass?

[Anonymous No.53453207]

>>53453152
>I'm gunning for a big raise this year so I can't mess this up.

bring your boss' daughter then, shit's guaranteed

[Anonymous No.53453384]

>>53453152
Bringing a beautiful escort is a power move, honestly. Especially if you're quiet and not great looking, they will definitely start thinking there's something mysterious about you. You really gotta make sure she doesn't mention she's a hooker though, and have a simple story of what she does and how you met.

I've honestly thought about doing this but I've never had a serious job lmao. I go to hookers frequently though.

[Anonymous No.53453401]

>>53453152
show up with an escort who forgets your name at a critical moment and tells your boss how much she would blow him for

[Anonymous No.53453420]

>>53453152
bring a man

[Anonymous No.53453426]

>>53453420
You mean man girl, right?

[Anonymous No.53453432]

lmao bringing the escort would be pretty keyed.

[Anonymous No.53453447]

>>53453432
lol yeah man....keyed. The fuck are you trying to say, you sound like a mega faggot.

[Anonymous No.53453473]

>>53453207

[Anonymous No.53453479]

for me as higher level manager being single means being able to dedicate every bit of your time to the company

coming alone is the best move here
if someone asks just tell them you don't have time for a relationship in your life right now as you're working on your career and add haha maybe later

your boss will notice

[Anonymous No.53453484]

>>53453420
This. Bring a literal man and tell everyone you are a fag. You will probably get promoted

[Anonymous No.53453495]

>>53453479
Ur boss will notice you are a loser faggot.

Why pay a loser faggot more money when he's working so hard for crumbs? Kek we can just hire a stud with all the money we're saving on anons wage!

[Anonymous No.53453531]

>>53453152
My uncle was a salesman in the 80s.
Salesmen used to show up to client meetings with hookers (and even cocaine) all the time.
Unless you're in sales it's probably not worth hiring an escort.

[Anonymous No.53453549]

>>53453479
No, this is flat out wrong. It reflects way better on a man to have a pretty girl hanging off his arm. It's actually opposite, the boss will see you as a guy who absolutely needs his job to provide.

[Anonymous No.53453560]

>>53453152
what? just go alone. why are you trying to fake it? people can sniff out fakers like you easily. Chances are, you've already shown yourself as someone who doesn't have a +1 to begin with, if you show up with one it will raise too many flags.

[Anonymous No.53453571]

>>53453447
why are you so rude :(

[Anonymous No.53453669]

>>53453180
laughing my ovaries apart

[Anonymous No.53453868]

>>53453152
Im going to have to drop out of society at some point
Cant even imagine being in a relationship

[Anonymous No.53454203]

>>53453384
What’s it like? I’ve always wondered, but too loyal to go elsewhere. I mean they have to suck like pros, amirite?

[Anonymous No.53454232]

>>53453152
Just go alone. Or call go up to your boss and ask them to be your plus one and then give a huge awkward wink.

Next time we have a work event with a +1 I’m gonna bring my kid and thank them for feeding my family.

[Anonymous No.53454265]

>>53453152
tell your boss you are asexual and change your pronouns to xir. you are now a protected class and will not get fired.

[Anonymous No.53454295]

>>53453152
only do it if you actually know her personality and that shes well behaved

if you bring her and she behaves poorly youre fucked

[Anonymous No.53454318]

>>53453571
There comes a time when boomers start to realize they're old. They don't understand the world anymore and everything goes by faster than they can process. So they get angry and irritable and lash out at others for being reminded of their impending death.

[Anonymous No.53454343]

>>53453447
locked

[Anonymous No.53454398]

>>53453152
>I'm gunning for a big raise this year
I know this is a troll post, but still need to clarify to young anons that the only way you get a big raise is by applying to another company with higher salaries and/or for a higher position.
Licking your boss' arse is not going to get you a big rise, promotion, or anything.

[Anonymous No.53454432]

Bring the escort, be explicit thats what she is as well

[Anonymous No.53454450]

>>53453152
bring your bf

[Anonymous No.53454585]

>>53453152
Bring an escort, tell her to larp as your friend, not girlfriend, just friend, and that you've been friends since you were kids, your boss will want you get closer to her aka be nice to you

[Anonymous No.53454610]

They will definitely know if you bring an escort

[Anonymous No.53454668]

>>53454203
The best sex I ever had was with escorts. Most are willing to do anything you want for that 1 hour, as long as it's not violent or too weird. Normie girls just don't really compare but don't ever expect REAL intimacy or affection from escorts, it's 100% acted.

[Anonymous No.53454682]

>>53454668
Are you serious? Most whores won’t even let you jizz in their mouths or on their face and some random roastie from and app almost guaranteed will

[Anonymous No.53454706]

>>53454682
I never really used apps and I'm not very photogenic, and most likely just an average dude. When I did use them I only ever met up with a few ugly girls and it wasn't great. With an escort I get a 10/10 who lets me do anything but honestly I never really liked jizzing on faces or anything. I just cum in them with the condom on. I've had GFs, one night stands, LTRs, but never got girls from apps.

[Anonymous No.53454711]

>>53454668
Not always acted - one escort told me my lovemaking skills were excellent, and that I was so much more handsome than the 'monsters' she usually saw.

[Anonymous No.53454723]

>>53454668

Maybe it’s my autism or something but I don’t really like affection. I don’t trust it and feel like I am being manipulated if a girl is affectionate.

[Anonymous No.53454737]

>>53454706
Jizzing in her mouth is the best everyone should try it. Especially if you choke her during. Alpha power move. Maybe get really drunk and do this in front of your boss. That's the kind of alpha Chad any boss would want to promote I guarantee it.

[Anonymous No.53454742]

>>53453669
gross

[Anonymous No.53454840]

>>53453495
>>53453549
this isn't the 80s anymore. no one cares

[Anonymous No.53455195]

>>53453207
Even better if the daughter's a man so you can show how brave and inclusive you are

[Anonymous No.53455250]

>>53454737
>>53453152
Do this except TO your boss

>captcha: kwk hng

[Anonymous No.53455266]

>>53453447
Discord trannies trying to replace 'based'. Hilldawg levels of pathetic.

[Anonymous No.53455325]

>>53453152
Don't go to the team dinner, tell him you have a family member in some trouble (the family member is you, so you're not lying)

[Anonymous No.53455378]

>>53453152
Bring your hentai body pillow

[Anonymous No.53455443]

Big Brother program

[Anonymous No.53455496]

>>53454711
Thats an act too

[Anonymous No.53455515]

Show up with a non-passing tranny. The more horrendous the better.

[Anonymous No.53455516]

>>53453152
Better to show with an escort if she can larp as your girl friend. Social status is everything and you will be looked down upon by your peers and boss for being single. It’s fucking stupid but if you are desperate for a raise then you have to play the game, you should also be looking at other jobs that will give you a better deal and just monkey swing to the higher paying job

[Anonymous No.53455572]

>>53454737
always dumbest posts like this that make me kek

[Anonymous No.53455655]

>>53453180
Are you 12 years old?