Ever since losing everything

[Anonymous No.53150856]

The third time in my life I've become evil and detached from reality.

I tried praying it away and believing in hope one last time but it never gets better only worse.
Trips and I make someone clear my brain matter off the walls.

[Anonymous No.53150875]

>>53150856
Rolling

[Anonymous No.53150887]

>>53150856
Let it roll baby

[Anonymous No.53150893]

>>53150856
Don’t do it bro. Please dear god don’t let me get trips.

[Anonymous No.53150904]

Whoa man, I feel the same way
I'm so evil and detached. Like a lost soul or something profound. I listen to NIN and tool in my room while my mom cooks me mac and cheese. And she better put some ketchup in it.

[Anonymous No.53150906]

>>53150887
SO close

[Anonymous No.53150912]

>>53150887
so close.

[Anonymous No.53150925]

>>53150904
Whoa calm down there, might get a visit at your door.
Also rolling again.

[Anonymous No.53150933]

>>53150856
Dubs and you live a long fruitful, rewarding life

[Anonymous No.53150937]

>>53150933
checked

[Anonymous No.53150943]

>>53150933
Fucking jesus over here

[Anonymous No.53150950]

>>53150933
My rules fuck you.
Your digits can't make my life better.

[Anonymous No.53150956]

>>53150933
impressive

[Anonymous No.53150979]

>>53150950
You have to abide by the dubs.

[Anonymous No.53150990]

>>53150950
Based, rolling

[Anonymous No.53150994]

>>53150979
I ain't abiding by shit I get paid tomorrow and I'm buying a gun, I'm not even larping.

[Anonymous No.53150996]

>>53150933
>>53150856
OP, God is telling you something.

In your post you talk about "I" three times for the 3rd time you lost it all. You have a duty to still fufil.

[Anonymous No.53151001]

>>53150996
Rolling.

[Anonymous No.53151022]

>>53151001
Fuck you for not typing faster

[Anonymous No.53151039]

Sometimes things work out nicely

[Anonymous No.53151055]

>>53151039
For you maybe

[Anonymous No.53151074]

>>53150950

Eat shit nigger. You are going to go to church, you are going to be saved by the grace of our lord and you WILL live a long life.

[Anonymous No.53151076]

>>53150856
Hope is all we have anon

[Anonymous No.53151094]

>>53151074
Nope god hates me and now I feel nothing, I'm an empty shell just waiting now to get my paycheck I'm done playing this game of life, you guys get to enjoy everything while people like me suffer that's the game and I opt out.

[Anonymous No.53151096]

>>53151074
Rolling.

[Anonymous No.53151102]

>>53151074
Based
>>53151055
Nice dubs op, looks you're going to live forever

[Anonymous No.53151129]

>>53151102
Fuck off that's the last god forsaken fucking thing I want, I've prayed to die and almost worked a few times but I can finally opt out knowing I tried I was waiting for the holidays to pass.

[Anonymous No.53151167]

>>53151129
You're such a whiny fucking nigger you unironically should kill yourself, I hope whatever depression you're going through gets ten times worse so we never have to see another post from your nigger ass again now ROLLING.

[Anonymous No.53151175]

Rolling

[Anonymous No.53151191]

dubs and OP lives

[Anonymous No.53151206]

>>53151129
You'll own everything
And you will be happy

[Anonymous No.53151209]

Trips and OP has to eat shit and buy JASMY

[Anonymous No.53151219]

>>53150856
I wish I had a fucking gun bros but the state says I'm not legally allowed to own one

[Anonymous No.53151242]

>>53151219
Probably for your own good, I can and im gonna use it on myself.
This thread is pathetic you guys can't even get trips

[Anonymous No.53151313]

>>53151242
I want to use it on myself pussying out on roping is too easy unless I get some handcuffs even then where I plan do it I could easily just stand up

[Anonymous No.53151332]

>>53151313
Should buy one anyway and use it on OP.

[Anonymous No.53151523]

[Anonymous No.53151942]

>>53150856
Final roll

[Anonymous No.53152200]

>>53150856
You will get no trips from me.
You must feel like storms are all around you and they are not subsiding.
Your holding tight to your umbrella.
Anon, I’m just tryin to tell ya…
that there has always been a rainbow hanging over your head.

Please listen to this a couple of times:
https://youtu.be/6OFv566mj7s

[Anonymous No.53152220]

>>53152200
Rolling to kill this faggot.

[Anonymous No.53152256]

>>53151242
Why don't you buy some MDMA? Or any drug really, if you're gonna die why not experience heroin/meth/psychedelics?

[Anonymous No.53152318]

its not my choice. Nice data mining stanford expiriment you got going on though

[Anonymous No.53152333]

>>53152220
I would stomp your ass in the ground, that is a fact….physically and financially.

[Anonymous No.53152349]

>>53152333
Nice job you fucking idiot now OP is gonna kill himself.

[Anonymous No.53152386]

>>53152349
Dang man…I forgot about the trips thing…shit.

[Anonymous No.53152407]

>>53152349
Thank God.
>>53152386
Don't be upset with yourself I was going to regardless of trips.

[Anonymous No.53152433]

everyone deals with what you're dealing with, to different degrees and in different ways. humans are almost universally depraved animals if left to their own judgment. I can say with certainty that no matter what you did I don't want you to hurt yourself and know you can be a better person.

Jesus Christ asked for the forgiveness of the people who tortured and murdered him. God WILL forgive you, He told us so. maybe your faith isn't strong enough yet. keep working on it.

[Anonymous No.53152448]

>>53152407
The trips thing is dumb. Please don’t do anything. Did you listen to that song I inserted above?

[giga faggot detector No.53152455]

>>53152333
he dead

[Anonymous No.53152472]

>>53152448
The trips thing isnt dumb I need to know the world wants it as much as I do, and no I didn't im detached no music or mission statements gonna reactivate the neurons in my brain it's fried and I want to turn off the big computer.

[Anonymous No.53152486]

>>53152333
counter-roll. OP don't do this bud, there is still time. What are your plans tomorrow?

[Anonymous No.53152532]

>>53152472
Aa meetings helped me…that was two years ago…life is truly better.
Trips are electronically and randomly generated…nothing more.

[Anonymous No.53152539]

>>53152486
Getting my gun back waiting for my paycheck to deposit, otherwise I'd do it today been weighing this for a few years now but after three solid months of no hope it's over I'll never even get back to 1/10th of what I was and even if I somehow did I'd lose again.

I think the kindness is sweet but it's a moot point

[Anonymous No.53152541]

Just do it. I just got dumped by my gf of 3 years and got laid off the same week. I will probably rope soon but I wont create a thread about it on biz begging for attention like a 15 year old girl. Nobody here really cares and most people you know irl don’t either.

[Anonymous No.53152560]

>>53152539
You WILL break hearts with such an action.

[Anonymous No.53152584]

>>53152541
i made a group of preteen/ teenage girls on omegle listen to my inane ramblings after i got dumped. literally no one else cared. i had no one else to turn to

[Anonymous No.53152591]

>>53152560
I'll break more by existing, eventually I'll break bad and hurt someone and rather bookend my existence than fall Into that trap.

[Anonymous No.53152633]

>>53150950
>Your digits can't make my life better.
Yes they can. Some other digits on a screen put you where you are now.

Big picture. You're ahead of the game, and will be "rich" in 4 years if you stick with it.

[Anonymous No.53152694]

>>53150856
Do it faggot, but take a high value target with you

At least a local banker, realtor, politician, irs agent

Do something to better the earth before you leave it

[Anonymous No.53152709]

>>53152591
I felt a lot lower than you when I lost my child…I did things I thought I was never capable of doing. I still hurt, but I have had love since. I will always miss him, everyday, until I die. I know he would never want me to end my life sooner by my own actions.
There are people like my son, who wish the same for you, including me.

[Anonymous No.53152717]

> praying
Pathetic. Take ownership of your life.

[Anonymous No.53152718]

>>53150904

This post deserves more (You)s.

[Anonymous No.53152743]

>>53152709
Jeez man I've lost a lot but never a kid, I never wanted children because I'm so fucked up, but you're too kind for this place anon.

[Anonymous No.53152744]

>>53152718
Ketchup in m&c is pretty good, not gonna lie.

[Anonymous No.53152753]

i can hop on discord if you change your mind op
>>53152709
sorry for your loss
>>53152717
lot of the people who visit this site are broken and fucked up. i pray a lot too now it's better than nothing

[Anonymous No.53152769]

>>53152743
Bullshit, I’m nice. I hurt a FUCKLOAD of people for a long time after his death, and was so cowardly I used his death as an excuse. If I can find redemption, ANYONE can.

[Anonymous No.53152787]

>>53152584
Over time you realize nobody really cares about anyone but themselves. They can pretend for a short period of time but then they will quickly remember they have their own problems. Even if you blow your brains out most people will forget about it within a couple months.

[Anonymous No.53152795]

>>53152769
People get redemption who deserve it, you get one sweet moment in life and mine passed, I don't know your situation but you probably didn't deserve it my world is what I made of it.

[Anonymous No.53152807]

>>53150856

Just keep pushing man. It is what it is.

[Anonymous No.53152810]

>>53152795
Then if the world is what YOU make of it, then fucking change your path, dude. You answered your own dilemma.

[Anonymous No.53152819]

>>53152795
yea well tell us i'll spill my spaghetti

haha i'm almost 40 and jobless the uber money last year was great but it's dead now. 19 yo gf dumped me i was prepared to leave my 10 yo son for her.
my exwife still can't take him.

i'm staying with my parents now and applied for income assistance.
now i have to find some way to get remote income or start some sort of online business with no skills. i don't want to cave in and wage in my hometown and give up on my dream of living overseas nor do i want to tap into crypto now. i already blew 75k buying property there

[Anonymous No.53152841]

>>53152810
It would be so crazy if you lived in texas, where I live. I would make you come out to my ranch on Sunday and have you help me round up cattle on Sunday at sunrise.

[Anonymous No.53152874]

>>53152539
what about birdwatching? owls? personally i think it would be crazy to punch your own ticket before experiencing one of the greatest facets of our world. what if you went out to the woodsy neighborhood park by your place an hour before dawn tomorrow and looked for an owl... what if you used recordings to find one? What if i offer to airdrop you something if you try it tomorrow and are unsatisfied? my offer stands no matter what anon, i beg you to consider it

[Anonymous No.53152903]

>>53152841
Not in Texas but pretty close, if things were different I probably would.
>>53152819
Not that different although exclude women I stopped chasing that years ago that only leads to heartache stick to yourself until you are better adjusted then women will be enjoyable.

My life isn't special and my enjoyment of being alive is gone nobody wants me to kms neither do I want you faggots to kys but there's also a point where you gotta let people do what they choose some paths are predetermined.
I let too many people keep me here to alleviate their suffering at the cost of mine which they never experience.

[Anonymous No.53152938]

>>53152874
There's no birds here right now but I have owls that live with me behind my place, and I'm very in tune with nature I've just lost my spirit, I'm probably going to go-to work but only because theres a high risk of dying during my job I have now which is why I took it hoping life will take its course.
I'm just existing to exist at this point.

[Anonymous No.53152946]

>>53150856
Rolling for making you try again.

[Anonymous No.53153038]

>>53152903
I am having difficulty with your use of the word predetermined. I think you are referring to your current mindset that has been with you for a couple of years.
You are missing something from your life, but you just do not know exactly what it is. You need to find it: maybe God, woman, volunteering, hobby, something.
I am grateful I didn’t do what I thought was predetermined for me years ago.

[Anonymous No.53153091]

>>53153038
I believe my fate is to be driven insane through sheer chaos and eventually harm others, it depresses me to no end because it seems to be true.
I opt to check out instead, I believe life crafts you a certain way through experiences and those who are good are forgiven and those who are evil or wicked get what they deserve I know my life is suppose to stay shit and I hate it there was a time even just a few years ago where I was happy loving caring and now I'm just a shell experiencing and I don't enjoy it, and tomorrow something will set me off as soon as I become slightly happy and I'll regress and become bitter and angry again it's a neverending loop of noise.

[Anonymous No.53153122]

>>53153038
>>53153091
>>53152946
>>53152874
>>53152819
Why don't you trannies get a room already and quit ruining my board.

[Anonymous No.53153140]

>>53150904
I totally get you bro

[Anonymous No.53153189]

I have seen the lowest of the lows, people (including myself) more degenerate/evil than you will ever understand, become content, happy, and confident, and the most trusted people in their circles. ANYTHING is possible for you. you essentially need to turn your life over to something greater than yourself.

Your problem right now is you are running things in your life.

[Anonymous No.53153211]

>>53153122
This is an evil little cuss that should suck start a shotgun.

[Anonymous No.53153262]

>>53153211
I agree I've just been ignoring him and I've tried giving over to god many times over and I think he gave me chances but I squandered them and believe my life is punishment for not doing the right things.

[Anonymous No.53153314]

>>53153262
Not even close to cliche, but it is never too late to try again, and again, again. Try to find what made you happy, loving and content a few years ago. You are wrong about it being a one time deal kind of thing. I know people that go bad for 75 years, and on that 76th…bam..fucking peace and serenity.

[Anonymous No.53153338]

It has truly been my pleasure to listen to you this evening. You are intelligent, humble, and kinder than you think. Thank you, fren.

[Anonymous No.53153352]

>>53153338
I don't think that's true kek but you were nice which I humbly appreciate, I'm about to go to sleep myself thank you fren and enjoy your fruit you deserve it.

[Anonymous No.53153382]

>>53150933
Rolling

[Anonymous No.53153488]

>>53153352
You, as well.